Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend and when he answered, I said the dirtiest thing I could think of to him on the phone. After a long silence, I heard, "Lacey? Is that you?" I accidentally called my dad. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were using our Skype accounts for the first time. He went to the restroom and I thought that I'd surprise him with my clothes off for when he came back. I heard him walk back into the room so I got into position. It wasn't him. It was his mom. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML
Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML
Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML
Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML
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Top comments
boofgall 16
Probably because dirty talk to anyone outside of the party just sounds corny, cheesy or hilarious. Anybody not in that mood would find it funny, if not weirded out.
onlychildFTW 34
Never do this at a parents house. Especially with parents home. I hope you learned your lesson OP.
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Comments (64)
Enslaved 38
Sorry, your dad's a perv. It's one thing to hear you by "mistake" for a minute or two and give you privacy or stop you, if he thinks your conversation is inappropriate vs listening in by eavesdropping.
frottiejoy 7
not a perv, just nosey.
CharresBarkrey 16
When I was halfway through the FML, I assumed it would end with the father angry and/or threatening to kill the boyfriend. The way it ended leads me to believe that OP and her guy weren't very good at talking dirty, hence the laughing.
blcksocks 19
Sure, but coming up with code words for dirty talk isn't that difficult. At least people around you can't hear what the other person is saying, so they don't understand the context. That's what I used to do. it's not as much fun but still better than this situation.
pradip 26
Maybe you were not a pro doing the dirty talk and it turned out funny, if it was really a horny sex talk, I don't think a father would continue hearing his daughter that way.
SillyGirl4602 23
I agree. If she was talking really dirty to her boyfriend, I doubt her father would have continued to listen.
BlackBlazeCobra 16
Reminds me of when I did a late night 3 way Skype call between my friends and man did I have a sailor's mouth. I walked out of my room later to discover my mom was awake, when I thought she was sleeping. Her only response? "Don't burp while you're talking to your friends", haha.
ktc24 3
GOLD!
Neonemerld 21
No, not even bronze.
LiVeLiKeAWaRriOR 4
That must've sucked
StanSmith2013 26
That is what dads are for!
qirde_15 5
ask for a full year's allowance then tell him to mind his own business.
zingline89 18
This makes absolutely no sense.
ApollosMyth 22
For me, a full years allowence would be 52 x Current Allowence = $0. So I don't think I should ever use your advice.
Mindwarp 4
My dad wouldn't laugh... He'd probably kill the guy.
yeti37 16
next time use sign language.