By look how totally not racist I am! - 11/07/2014 03:32 - United States - Salida

Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 086
You deserved it 3 999

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Hopefully people won't assume you're a racist just because your mother is.

Lol the worst part is you look racist by proxy now. just say she's off her meds and hope for the best.


Hopefully people won't assume you're a racist just because your mother is.

Feel sorry for you OP . Say no to Racism.

What's so great about racism that it gets to be capitalized?

Lol the worst part is you look racist by proxy now. just say she's off her meds and hope for the best.

Proxy? That thing I use to look up ethnic **** in public?

What the hell 25... And no, you don't even need a proxy for that. You only need a proxy for stuff that could potentially be a problem. You know what I'm talking about

Here's hoping the tour guide takes it in her stride. Wouldn't want your mum to return home with a black eye.

And fat lips. They get especially angry when they have both.

Your Mum needs a swift kick up the bum straight into the 21st century. Sorry OP, at least you turned out ok.

When you say "subtly racist" it makes me question that she's actually doing this to seem open-minded because it sounds like she's just being subtly racist.

Excuse my ignorance about this subject. I understand racism is bad and hurtful. But I have the feeling that people in countries where racism is an issue are becoming more and more sensitive to it to a degree it's becoming ridiculous. No? (Where I live we don't have racism. We have its cousin though, religious backgrounds)

alshygirl 14

I actually agree with you. The US had a truly horrific time period of racism with slavery and after slavery was abolished. A lot of people have become very sensitive to racism. No one wants to offend anybody

Yeah, I'm not sure what to make of this FML, because I think many people don't even know what racism is anymore. Racism is hatred, as in when a person wants members of a particular race to be subservient or exterminated because they believe that members of that particular race are inherently inferior or evil. But nowadays you get labeled a racist for telling a joke in poor taste, or suggesting that immigration laws actually be enforced. So I wonder if OP's mother is actually racist, or if she's just racially prejudiced, meaning that she has a(n) (incorrect) preconceived notion about how black people speak.

raspution 21

You forgot to mention how you will get called racists if you don't like president Obama.

#12- Actually no. I don't know where you are getting your information from but racism is a form of prejudice that oppresses a POC or a a minority. What OP's mother said was prejudice as you rightfully claimed because it made a preconceived notion about how that particular black woman talks. What makes it racist is that it also oppresses that woman and people of that woman's race. What OP's mother said was racist and people these days are becoming more "sensitive" to the issue because more and more people are getting educated on the subject.

16, In some circles, yeah that too. It couldn't possibly be that people simply disagree with the president's policies or are suspect of certain scandals, because he ***** rainbows. Nope, his only dissent comes from the KKK.

my explanation might not be the best but I'm sure there are some great modern day books and articles written by POC on this topic :)

People aren't becoming more sensitive to it, they're speaking up about it more. There are certain words that POC have always found offensive and that have always been degrading but they've never felt like they're able to speak about it before. For example, I live in South Africa, which used to have Apartheid. I'm black and I went to a majority white school. My friends would do things like putting on a black accent and calling themselves by black names whenever they were pretending to be really stupid. This made me extremely uncomfortable and I never had the courage to call them out. But now I do and that gets interpreted as being too sensitive.

No, 18. The definition of racism is not that narrow. That's where that stupid myth comes from that minorities and poor people can't be racist. You don't have to "oppress" anyone to be racist. You can hate black people, sit and brood about it in your house, maybe even talk about how much you hate black people with your white buddies, but always be polite and kind to black people to their faces because you're too afraid of the repercussions. Guess what? You wouldn't be oppressing anyone, but you'd still be racist. The logic you just presented is how extremist groups who claim to represent minorities try to get away with their own brand of racism. I never said that racial prejudice was acceptable, btw. On the contrary, I think that racial prejudice is abhorrent and should be discouraged. I just said that racial prejudice was different than racism, the difference being that one is more extreme and malicious than the other.

While I will agree the term gets thrown around a lot when it doesn't really apply, racism *is* inherently oppressive and discriminatory. The problem is that racism is rarely confined to the privacy if one's own home. It leaks out, even if it's not overt. The person who sits at home and complains about another race goes out into the world and everything that person does is tainted by those private thoughts. That doesn't mean that person is going to go out and lynch somebody, but racism isn't just about not being polite to someone because of their race-- it's about institutional and social practices that do oppress certain groups of people. White flight, wage inequality, Euro-centric school curriculum-- these are all some very real, and very oppressive, examples of racism.

I don't think I'm overly sensitive about it, but my friends and I have realized that we have to stop ignoring it. My parents always taught me to hold my tongue and turn the other cheek when it comes to racism, and up until my freshman year of college, that's what I did. Once I reached college, I stopped being okay with people telling me "You're pretty/smart/funny/talented/nice/etc. for a Black person." or that "I need to go back to my country." I realized that I wasn't okay with employees following me around the store acting like I was going to steal everything I touched. I wasn't okay with people making racist remarks towards me because of my accent and name (I'm Nigerian). I wasn't okay with white guys telling me that *I'm* lucky they found me attractive, because most black women are ugly. After a while, you stop ignoring it, and you realize that things won't change unless you say something about it. I don't think it's over sensitivity, as much as it is people no longer willing to put up with it.

#41 - all of your examples are correct and you are right. But I've heard about a big portion of people flipping when they for example hear someone call for example a black guy "bro". Isn't that over sensitive?

I've never heard of a black person flipping out for being called bro before, but we're all different people, in different environments, with different experiences. So the behavior of people is never going to be the same across the board. Fun story: Last week I was sitting on the bus to campus going over my notebook and textbooks before a test. All of a sudden, I feel fingers on my scalp, and the person starts yanking on my curls while going "Black hair is so fascinating! How do you make it do this!" Normally, I smack and glare when someone touches my hair, but this time, I decided to return the favor. So I put my notebook down, turned around, looked her right in the eye, and did to her what she was doing to me. She freaked out and started ranting about how black people are so disrespectful, and how us black people need to learn how to respect others, and not touch people without permission. This whole time she was lecturing me, she failed to realize why I'd done what I did until she got to the very end of her rant. All of a sudden she trailed off, turned bright red, and moved to the back of the bus. She never apologized, or even acknowledged that she'd done something wrong. When I got off the bus, another white women got off too, and she proceeded to attempt to follow me and lecture me about how what I did was "unspeakably rude and disrespectful," and that I need to learn to behave appropriately in public, and that behavior like mine is why people don't like black people. I'd love to say that this doesn't happen often, but it happens to me about twice a week. When my white friends hear about stuff like this, they don't understand why I get so frustrated when people feel that it's okay to pet me because they "find black hair so interesting." A lot of Americans that aren't minorities, tend to think racism and prejudice don't exist anymore, and if they do acknowledge that it exists, they don't understand that it still happens on a large scale to minorities on a regular basis. It just becomes incredibly frustrating when people do and say rude things to you without even realizing it, but when you point it out, you somehow turn into the bad guy. I mean don't get me wrong. If someone wants to learn about my culture, or my hair texture, and asks me questions about it, I'll answer them. But it needs to be respectful. I've very iffy about being touched by ANYONE, so the fact that people think it's okay to touch me because my hair is curlier, and my skin is darker, sets me right off.

16, Some people don't get called racist, but statistics show that a "majority of the minority" voted for Obama. Some might say that's because he's black, others say its his political side. I'm not going to lean to either; I don't want there to be a political debate on this and have the comments closed.

I've also had conversations like this: guy: hey where are you from? me: I was born in America. (i now live in Alberta, Canada.) guy: really? I know some people from Mosambique. Have you been there? me: No. pretty much America and Canada my whole life. guy: oh you must not understand me. WHERE IS YOUR COUNTRY? while it's a less harsh example, it kind of always comes off as "silly you, you don't belong here! Where do you belong?"

or more like indoctrinated. The liberal agenda is doing nothing but tearing the country apart. everybody's ''feelings'' have to be considered for anything and everything, from the things that come out of our mouths to the laws about what we can do with our own bodies. n nobody thinks in terms of the ''greater good'' anymore. this is MY opinion.

That hurt my feelings. IM SUING YOU FOR ALL YOU HAVE.

48, since when has racism and prejudice done anything to help the greater good? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I've always thought that intolerance for other people does more harm than help.

And sometimes, people don't even realize they're prejudiced. For example, I'm black and I get called "white" for not speaking in Ebonics. I was also told by one of my friends (who is white) that he doesn't consider me black because I speak "proper English." When I got angry, he didn't realize how racially insensitive he was being. This is why I'm glad people are speaking up about racism, because what seems like an innocent comment to one person can come off as very offensive to someone else.

raspution 21

Or the black lady who called me a racists cracker for not letting her take things for free from my work... I told her she was the one using racial slurs and she said black people can't be racist only you crackers can. The worst part is I think she honestly believes it.

tazmanmike2013 17

How do you compare the term "liberal agenda" to the term "klan rally"? I would think that is an obtuse way of thinking. Just because one does not agree with liberal policies or their "agenda" does not mean they are part of the klan. This is the problem with discussions like this, as soon as one person disagrees with a specific point if view then it is inevitable that someone will throw something out there accusing the other side of something racist. This is very disappointing. You, sir, just took a good and honest discussion and made it bad.

He's not comparing the two terms. At all. He's making the very relevant point that conversations like this are often chalked up to "liberal agenda" or "sjw nonsense " in order to trivialise them when in fact these conversations are relevant because racism still affects a lot of people. He's also pointing out the flawed logic behind those who argue that they should be able do racist or say racist things because reasons.

rocker_chick23 27

#48: Do you know what my horrible liberal agenda consists of? Doing the laundry, shopping, and relaxing waiting for my son and husband to come home from spending the day together.

tazmanmike2013 17

You stated that when terms like "liberal agenda" get thrown around then things slide into a "klan rally". This is not true. Many of the things that are on the liberal agenda and many things that some of the most so called "liberal" minds claim, I do not agree with. Many people who do not agree with some parts of this ideology are good, honest, hardworking people who are not racist at all.

I feel like people think its impossible to be racist against white people. Its not only people of color that have to deal with racism. I would love to see peoples reactions if white people came out with white entertainment television and called it WET. Black people can do stuff that only includes blacks but if white people did that there would be a riot. Its a double standard. Cant we just be people and not have to classify each other with color.

rocker_chick23 27

67:So you're against women being treated like people,veterans getting the help they need, against poor people getting the help they need, marriage equality, and making pot legal? We believe women are actually people, vets should be treated better than they are, that poor people should get the help they need, same sex marriage hurts no one, and making pot legal will allow the prison to violent offenders instead if innocent people who committed a victimless crime. The liberal agenda is such an evil thing. *rolls eyes*

#69 You do realise that BET was created to address the lack of representation that black people had on television and in the entertainment business right? And that the reason that WET doesn't exist is because we already have hundreds of movies and television series with majority white casts? What you don't seem to understand is that prior to BET you could turn to just about any channel on television and you would see white people. The same could not be said for POC. Secondly, black actors have and continue to struggle to find roles simply because so many directors and producers are looking for white actors to fill their main roles. The creation of BET has helped these actors find work and has launched the careers of many black actors who otherwise may not have gotten their big breaks.

69, as unpopular as my opinion may be, I am one of those people that doesn't believe that white people can experience racism. White people are not oppressed in today's society, POC are. And that's what racism is all about. Not just hatred, but hatred that often takes away the rights of others. And I doubt, for example, that any white person has been turned away from employment for the color of their skin, or any similar experiences. And the "not have to classify people with color" argument doesn't really apply to the oppressed, rather than the oppressors.

At least she was trying to relate with her. Hopefully she didn't come across as rude.

One of my old teachers once told us that her husband wanted to send disabled people to concentration camps because it was "survival of the fittest." She'd laugh it off as if it was funny but as you can imagine, our class did not agree :/ Thank god it's 2014 and the majority don't think like that, shame about your grandma and OP's mum, hopefully they'll learn to be a little more open minded?

I do hope the tour guide has a sense of humour to take it in stride.