Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Kiss from a rose

Kiss from a rose

By sealy - 28/12/2010 07:44 - United States

Today, I was told I sound like a seal barking when I orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 068

You deserved it 7 865

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By crier - 27/08/2013 18:34 - United States - Norfolk

Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 598

You deserved it 12 449

By shopper242 - 22/11/2010 12:29 - France

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 902

You deserved it 4 096

Honky

By Anonymous - 05/08/2015 14:06 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 024

You deserved it 5 032

By Ugh - 13/09/2015 06:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that I moan too much when we have sex. I actually just fake my moans in an effort to cover the sound of my cracking hips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 373

You deserved it 5 884

By Anonymous - 27/12/2013 20:18 - Jamaica - Kingston

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 176

You deserved it 5 849

It's all too much

By toomuchlove - 02/08/2010 23:32 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I like it when he moans while we're having sex. Unfortunately, he interpreted that as "milk it". The sound is so obnoxious, it's starting to ruin the sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 703

You deserved it 27 245

By laury - 09/05/2012 02:05 - Canada - Port Elgin

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 559

You deserved it 3 623

I'm coming!

By anonymous - 24/02/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 865

You deserved it 4 479

Breaking

By Kev - 23/08/2023 06:00 - Ireland

Today, I was giving a presentation when my voice cracked like a teenage boy going through puberty. The audience giggled every time it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 66

By screamer - 02/09/2012 06:41 - United States - Paso Robles

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 946

You deserved it 38 468

xFalzz 0

Tuesday 28 December 2010 12:12

Oh yeah, yeah, yeaaaa- ARF ARF ARF ARF *begins to clap hands violently*

BelleElle_fml 5

Tuesday 28 December 2010 13:51

Did anyone else reinact this in their heads?

Comments

roboter 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 6:42

poor thong

sweetheartslim 0

Wednesday 4 May 2011 6:11

I just sound like a walrus.as in cu-cu-ca-choo

SleepOnStones 5

Monday 11 July 2011 5:05

Maybe you should stop sounding so retarded, then.

me215555 0

Thursday 28 July 2011 18:02

nice!

twinkle_nipso_O 0

Thursday 22 September 2011 20:19

At least he makes you come, quit yo' bitchin'!

Risenfromash 0

Sunday 11 December 2011 15:22

LOL that's pretty damn awkward. Bite your tongue next time?

Opalsky 4

Friday 30 March 2012 7:11

And he knows how a seal barking sounds???

PurpleKicks 22

Thursday 2 August 2012 9:30

hahahaha my old house mate used to bang a woman who made the same sounds, I called her seal girl!

deltoramastr 12

Saturday 10 November 2012 14:17

You must be related to my ex she sounded the same

poopernoodle 5

Tuesday 1 October 2013 5:04

The seal goes ow ow ow

Keywords

Transportation Awkward Cars Embarrassing Kids Babysitter Family Relatable Thief Money Mental health Health Depression Wanker Work Bodyshaming Love Annoying Vacation Students Parenting Intimacy AITA First Dates Singing Animals Cats Public freakouts Weddings Cops

The Top

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said, "You know? I like little girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 360

You deserved it 61 103

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 091

You deserved it 20 809

The Top

Today, I had a chat with a one-night stand and she's decided to keep the child. My life is basically over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 2 683

Today, while rushing upstairs to have sex, I tripped on the stairs and rammed my naked boner into the edge of the step. All my wife could do is laugh at me. Now it even hurts to pee or put my trousers on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 119

You deserved it 462

Today, it's been 50 hours since our power outage began. The authorities don't seem to be bothered enough to fix the problem and are constantly making excuses for delays. Did I mention my warm water fish are dying from lack of heat, and it's my time off work? FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 90

Today, I just found out my best friend is a hooker. I just thought she worked nights and had terrible taste in clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 845

You deserved it 486

Today, the dorm above me had their toilet pipe break and leak through my ceiling, so I have to move rooms. The worst part was I answered the door to let the repairman in while I was in pajamas, but he looked uncomfortable. I didn't notice until he left that my 'thing' was poking out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 465

Today, the girl I'm secretly in love with, whom I was talking to on MSN, told me she'd "brb in 10, no wait 20, oh make that 30 min" depending on her boyfriend's stamina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 842

You deserved it 9 776