Today, while very sick, throwing up in a bucket beside my bed, my dad came in pushed my face into the bucket. For a laugh, apparently. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad set the smoke alarm off at 6 a.m. as a "practice drill." I was woken up so suddenly, I fell out of bed into the bucket of sick I had been throwing up into the night before due to flu. Dad yelled at me for not getting out of the house in time. FML
Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML
Today, I woke up on the floor with my feet still in the bed. I had passed out while vomiting into a bucket, since I couldn't make it to the bathroom in time. The bucket had spilled all over my bed. FML
Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML
Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML
Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML
Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML
Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
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Top comments
Jaxx66 21
Wtf is his problem? OP that's more than screwed up! I hope you two had a chat or a flung bucket to straighten it out.
Pentium_4 27
may have to check, but he might be a fan of buckethead
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Comments (146)
irapnev 0
Ah, good old Head In A Vomitbucket - Great Parenting classics!
KittyJay 3
I was eating when I read that. :-/
cocodecoeur 12
Good to know...
ICATiger 13
Pour it over his head. See how he likes it....
zaza_x_fml 5
Puke on his face next time, for a laugh.
Nolnah 14
what with all these parents! dear god, there so immature!
mstangchck 9
They never cease to amaze me. :/
Chaos187 6
Damn! I wish my parents were like this! My parents never know how to have any fun.
RedPillSucks 33
Why would you want parents with a preadolescent idea of what's fun?
mstangchck 9
85: Maybe his idea of fun is something preadolescent. Ya never know.
Manganimegrl 16
They're just becoming so f'ed up!!!! I hope my parents don't read any FMLs... **shudders**
grovervac3000 15
Very true I could see a brother or sister doing that but a PARENT?
Dannyfacee 6
Keep throwing up and then dump it on him...for a laugh.
XxMoeMoexX 5
Hell yeah?!
castrosabeast 7
I used to be a dick like your dad but then I took an arrow to the knee.
RockN 10
Next time throw up in his face
ladyLALAA 29
YDI, totally kidding! I'd throw the bucket at him, that's messed up!
mistersheezy 7
That sucks buddy, sorry.