Miscellaneous: Today, I found out my teacher writes descriptions next to people's...

By atterz123 - 12/02/2009 13:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my teacher writes descriptions next to people's names on the register to remind him who people were. By mistake the descriptions appeared on the computer projector. Next to my name it said "Tubby". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 914

You deserved it 5 374

Miscellaneous

Hiding from the drama

Age difference

Heavy traffic

I am the law

By Anonymous - 27/09/2019 06:03

Today I got a ticket for driving on the wrong side of the road. It was a one-way street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 342

By montanadinosaur - 26/04/2015 04:05 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was watching porn, and ended up bawling because the girl in the video looked like my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 087

You deserved it 10 724

By OCDrunk - 23/11/2011 06:40 - Australia

Today, when drunk, I became OCD about everything and spent 3 hours making sure that the books on my shelves were straight. I thought that being drunk was supposed to be fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 962

You deserved it 9 884

By why... - 05/06/2012 17:21 - United States - East Orange

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 873

You deserved it 3 514

By mainlaw - 04/12/2009 17:33 - Ireland

Today, I found out that just because you're drunk, it doesn't make it okay to call your mother-in-law a fat slag. However, it does make it okay for your wife to knee you in the snow globes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 971

You deserved it 47 145

By Anonymous - 23/08/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my Kung Fu-trained father found out that my boyfriend, a Krav Maga student, got me pregnant. Since I'm only 17, my dad got extremely mad. Several broken bones and a few ambulances later, it looks like a Steven Seagal movie happened in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 630

You deserved it 960

By Anonymous - 14/02/2016 09:15 - Netherlands - Veldhoven

Today, I think I've conditioned my body to not function without technology, as I simply couldn't take a shit until I got up, fetched my phone and returned to the toilet to read stuff on here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 971

You deserved it 6 275

By Anonymous - 07/12/2018 20:00 - United States - Huntsville

Today, I finally lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams, unfortunately she called me by my ex-bestfriend's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 771

You deserved it 347

By hook me up with some smack, Jack - 01/08/2015 06:18 - Australia - Perth

Today, I, along with two cops and another paramedic, had to fight to pin down some total scumsucker. He was high out of his mind on god knows what, in his underwear, screaming like a maniac outside someone else's house at 2 in the morning. I don't get paid nearly enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 542

You deserved it 2 854

By AboutToGoKillBillOnSomeone - 13/12/2012 14:35 - Australia - Newport

Today, I finally got my wedding photos in the mail. As I looked through them, I soon realized that the lace material on my wedding dress was completely see-through in the sunlight, and my bra and panties were visible in every single outdoor photo. I had an outdoor wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 163

You deserved it 8 961

By notmyfam - 09/09/2016 07:47 - Australia - Chester Hill

Today, my boyfriend stood me up. At dinner with his parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 500

You deserved it 1 025

By seablue - 11/06/2009 06:12 - United States

Today, I wrote a poem for this guy I am falling for. Before telling him that I wrote it, he read it and then laughed at how "corny and stupid" it was because he would "never date someone who could come up with something that lame." The poem was about how vulnerable he makes me feel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 255

You deserved it 16 480

By Anonymous - 09/06/2014 13:47 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had to stand in line for twenty minutes at the bank, in between two of my ex-boyfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 419

You deserved it 11 347

Not a sponsored post, honest

By Superwoman678 - 27/10/2020 05:01 - Canada

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. This brings me bad news and good news. The bad news, I'm a vegetarian. The good news, I finally know why I've been craving Big Macs for the last two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 750

By Anonymous - 03/12/2011 18:11 - United States

Today, while I was putting up Christmas lights, my younger brother wouldn't stop pestering me. It seems he hadn't forgotten the time I gave myself an electric shock last year, and he wanted to see if I'd do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 154

You deserved it 3 565

Adapt, overcome, improvise

By Amy - 06/03/2020 07:00

Today, I was squeezed through an overly-crowded hallway down to my psychologist's. There, I sat in an overly-crowded waiting room to see him, next to an obese woman and an insane man. I finally entered the smaller-than-a-closet room. My reason for seeing a psychologist? Claustrophobia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 518

You deserved it 147

By Bug8Frog - 30/07/2013 06:42 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I bought a device that plays a high-pitched sound to teach my dog to quit barking. She's smart enough to learn that as long as she barks loud enough and long enough, she can't hear it. Quite the opposite effect to what I was anticipating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 618

You deserved it 6 747

By benz1369 - 12/05/2016 22:22 - Canada - Toronto

Today, while stocking the green beans at work, I picked up a "leaf" which turned out to be a grasshopper. I screamed so loud, my coworkers now think I'm crazy. This is only my second week here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 071

You deserved it 1 538

By frustrated - 22/01/2013 07:20 - Australia - Mittagong

Today, my mother insisted I dress very smartly in suit attire for my first job interview at a hippy-style retail store. My interviewer wore a poncho. I didn't get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 096

You deserved it 7 021

By mybfthecrossdresser - 20/01/2015 15:08 - Australia - Scarborough

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 827

You deserved it 3 975

By windsoffate - 09/06/2016 16:46 - United States - Portland

Today, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise almost like someone was puking all over the bathroom floor. When I went to check, my 14-year-old son was puking all over the bathroom floor. The toilet, however, was pristine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 581

You deserved it 943

Hard no

By Anonymous - 18/05/2021 22:01

Today, not to be "that guy" but my wife quit her job from fear of COVID, we have no kids, so am I really unreasonable to expect that she might do SOME of the housework instead of none of it, and then asking me if I would mind doing the dishes and laundry as soon as I get home? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 458

You deserved it 101

Get off your ass

By nepotwatism @ its finest - 23/09/2015 15:05 - Sweden - Halmstad

Today, my boss told me I have to start work 4 hours early tomorrow, because that my coworker, who happens to be his son, will not be coming in because he's "too tired". I work 10 hours a day, 6 days a week without complaining. His son works two 4-hour shifts a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 683

You deserved it 1 808

Lonely, so lonely

By Gina Marie Lombardi - 31/07/2021 11:01

Today, I realized how lonely I am when someone called my number by mistake and I talked with them for 5 minutes. I don’t know who she was, but I'm so lonely I was happy to have someone engage in a conversation, even if it was about her calling the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 83

By kkbb - 14/03/2010 06:05 - United States

Today, I figured out it's the first time my roommate has done the dishes after living together an entire year, but I got to clean up the bubble waterfall that came pouring out of the dishwasher because she couldn't figure out where the detergent was supposed to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 449

You deserved it 2 545

By notyouagain - 03/10/2010 07:40 - Australia

Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered the door and when he saw me said, 'oh great, it's YOU' and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 521

You deserved it 4 928

By Anonymous - 18/07/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 941

You deserved it 3 870

By LC - 23/01/2009 15:12 - United States

Today, I invited this guy I fooled around with over to "hang out". He's "en route", so I start to make my bed only to find my cat thought this was the best time to tell me she's sick by throwing up in my bed. I only have one set of linen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 775

You deserved it 7 117

By slightlyworried - 05/04/2013 05:28 - United States - Parker

Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 068

You deserved it 3 321

By unemployedaussie - 23/06/2016 12:35 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was fired because my boss found out I had been looking for a new job. Then, I got a call from my only job prospect, saying I was overqualified and too young to work there as a waitress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 124

You deserved it 1 379

By sigh - 21/12/2011 12:39 - United States

Today, I was called a "whore," a "demon," a "piece of shit," and a "disrespectful bitch." All of this happened because I wouldn't let my mother-in-law borrow my car. This is a woman with multiple speeding tickets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 035

You deserved it 3 094

By Anonymous - 21/05/2016 04:27 - Australia - Clayton

Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 966

You deserved it 865

By kiki - 05/08/2010 18:24 - United States

Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 267

You deserved it 3 869

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 06:45 - United States

Today, I was working in a restaurant. I stopped to pick up some silverware a customer dropped. Apparently my belt wasn't tight enough because a woman behind me immediately hurled in disgust. On top of being found revolting, I'm now in trouble for "flashing" someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 418

You deserved it 7 103

Not that sort, I swear

By Anonymous - 22/10/2020 11:01 - Luxembourg - Mamer

Today, I threw out a bunch of Coca-Cola bottles that had been in my room for who knows how long. My mother noticed them in the recycling and promptly told our neighbours that I have a "coke habit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 147

By cmac1229 - 23/06/2009 22:52 - United States

Today, I was at a gas station and I went to the bathroom. Thinking some was already in the bathroom, I waited for ten minutes while people lined up behind me only to find out that it was empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 119

You deserved it 51 284

Don't do favors for strangers

By Anonymous - 08/12/2020 19:58

Today, after getting a friend of a friend a job, overnight she turned into Satan, making a job I once loved a hell on earth. I should really try to get to know people before I do them a favor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 281

Scoville scale

By firefire - 30/07/2020 08:01

Today, since my husband has been volunteering to do more of the cooking, I was happy and relieved to have help, until every meal he made had an ungodly amount of spices in it. I overheard him on the phone, saying he’s been purposely making my food inedibly hot so that I’ll eat less and lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 888

You deserved it 277

By baconbxtch - 22/08/2013 02:45 - United States - Orlando

Today, I got rejected for a job because they claimed I faked my entire resume. Their excuse? I'm too pretty to be smart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 913

You deserved it 4 700

By pinkjade - 25/10/2011 07:17 - Canada

Today, I was napping. I woke up to my pillow making some sounds. Thinking it was my head shifting my pillow, I went back to sleep. Later on I woke up to the sounds again, and a mouse staring at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 857

You deserved it 3 516

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alwaysalady 0

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Thursday 12 February 2009 18:28

I had a teacher who over an entire year never once called me by my right name. At least this one's trying even if he is being a jerk about it.

rational_man 0

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Thursday 12 February 2009 19:22

blackmail= A+ use this and other mistakes people make to your advantage, and maybe lay off the krispy cremes.

alwaysalady 0

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Thursday 12 February 2009 18:28

I had a teacher who over an entire year never once called me by my right name. At least this one's trying even if he is being a jerk about it.

TheHub 0

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Thursday 12 February 2009 18:50

Fatness isn't some kind of incurable disease that entitles you to pity. It's something you brought upon yourself, and on top of that you're too weak-minded to go and do something about it.

rational_man 0

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Thursday 12 February 2009 19:22

blackmail= A+ use this and other mistakes people make to your advantage, and maybe lay off the krispy cremes.

insanelyXnikki 18

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Monday 16 January 2012 23:58

Bahahahah. Yes.

NotoriousMandog 0

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Thursday 12 February 2009 20:27

#7, you're a pretty awesome person

wakeeee 0

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Friday 13 February 2009 3:30

are you fat? then you probably deserve it

d_dh2310 0

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Wednesday 18 February 2009 9:52

#7 and #16 have very good points :) #7 I want to teach, (I'm in college and am pretty positive this is what I want to do), and you sound like a GREAT teacher :)

Shalalalalala 0

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Monday 18 May 2009 14:48

My teacher used to do that, next to my name it said 'pretty hairband' because I always wear headbands. Next to one guy's it said frog face. I feel for both of you.

8ccheng 0

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Thursday 9 July 2009 10:02

#19 I LOL'd Hahaha my cousin addresses me as tubby or tubtub or tubbytubtub or any variation in between although i have a six pack.... Its probably because I'm rather well endowed for an Asian girl lolololol