Miscellaneous: It's just me

It's just me

By Anonymous - 20/02/2020 01:00

Today, I stopped by my elderly mother’s house to drop off some groceries. I decided to clean the place while I was there, just to be nice. In true Three Bears fashion, I fell asleep on the couch. I was awoken by a police officer pointing his gun at me. My mom woke up and thought I was a burglar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 136

You deserved it 333

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Nice…

By MexyBoy - 11/06/2019 16:08

Today, I wanted to do something nice for my mom. So, while she was sleeping, I cleaned the whole house for her and even made her breakfast. A few minutes later, she came downstairs and yelled at me to keep it down because she was trying to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 893

You deserved it 303

By I'm Not Dead Yet - 09/06/2014 19:37 - United States - Tucson

Today, I put my headphones on and laid down to relax to some music. I fell asleep, and woke up later to a police officer busting into my house. My neighbor had been knocking on my door, then looked through my window and saw me on my couch, and was convinced I'd died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 777

You deserved it 5 219

Recipe for disaster

By ApparentlyATerribleDaughter - 12/08/2018 15:00

Today, while I took my dog out, my mother began to cook, took a Xanax, locked the doors, and passed out. When I managed to get in, I called the paramedics because she was in the smoke for at least an hour. When she became conscious, she blamed me for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 399

You deserved it 209

Caught

By Anonymous - 25/10/2015 02:47 - United States - Apollo

Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 616

You deserved it 7 924

By Michelle - 01/09/2010 08:27 - Netherlands

Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 993

You deserved it 3 471

By jasminejzhu - 14/04/2013 09:58 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, after an exhausting weekend of work, I decided to take a nap. I was awoken several hours later by my mother-in-law knocking on my door. Apparently my 11-year-old called up grandma to complain that she was hungry and that mum was sleeping instead of cooking dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 026

You deserved it 11 680

Chill out, mom

By chasingcars0624 - 28/08/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I got a knock on my door at 3 a.m. Turns out, if I ignore my mother long enough, she will assume I have died and will call the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 966

You deserved it 13 188

By BedazzledAlpaca - 08/12/2014 05:03 - United States - Englewood

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 856

You deserved it 4 309

Zapped

By joey - 09/03/2020 05:00

Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 853

You deserved it 157

By Anonymous - 16/09/2010 00:40 - United States

Today, I got lost trying to find the hospital my sister was giving birth in. I stopped at a store to call my mom for directions. A cop pulled up beside me and knocked loudly on my window asking me to get out. The store had been robbed and I am now a suspect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 911

You deserved it 2 559

DarkAngelsBlade 25

Thursday 20 February 2020 1:54

Yeah if she’s not recognizing you she needs to have someone with her at all times. My grandfather isn’t that bad yet but he’s still a danger to himself.

Rsonicgamer_fml 6

Thursday 20 February 2020 9:07

Really ? Someone sleeping on a couch, you wake up with a gun pointed to his head ? I'm guessing it's somewhere in the US, if true, but anyway the cops where you live need to learn to keep their cool...

Comments

campdude90 15

Thursday 20 February 2020 1:26

Does she have dementia? That sounds like something my grandma would do. When I wasn’t living with her, I always identified myself when I walked in, just to CYA. There were times when we didn’t have keys and I had to call the fire department. After that, I always had a key.

DarkAngelsBlade 25

Thursday 20 February 2020 1:54

Yeah if she’s not recognizing you she needs to have someone with her at all times. My grandfather isn’t that bad yet but he’s still a danger to himself.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Friday 21 February 2020 0:36

My guess is OP was lying face down, and his mom panicked and called the cops, instead of turning his head to see who he was.

WistayShlaio82 13

Thursday 20 February 2020 8:29

You’re unarmed and you were awoken with a gun in your face? Ok well...I have a feeling it was a color issue. That color wasn’t blue either.

Rsonicgamer_fml 6

Thursday 20 February 2020 9:07

Aj Castelletto 11

Thursday 20 February 2020 22:20

yeah most cops have no chill in the us. neither do civilians though lol

chris_lillo 15

Friday 21 February 2020 8:34

Honestly doesn't make sense... wonder how true the story is

JuliaKay14 33

Sunday 23 February 2020 22:04

You’re not wrong

EmDizzle2007 28

Thursday 20 February 2020 22:13

plot twist, it wasn't his mother's house. his mother died seven years ago, and that's the house she used to live in. he hasn't come to terms with it, and breaks out of the asylum regularly to visit her.