Miscellaneous: It's just me

It's just me

By Anonymous - 20/02/2020 01:00

Today, I stopped by my elderly mother’s house to drop off some groceries. I decided to clean the place while I was there, just to be nice. In true Three Bears fashion, I fell asleep on the couch. I was awoken by a police officer pointing his gun at me. My mom woke up and thought I was a burglar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 099

You deserved it 318

Miscellaneous

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Nice…

By MexyBoy - 11/06/2019 16:08

Today, I wanted to do something nice for my mom. So, while she was sleeping, I cleaned the whole house for her and even made her breakfast. A few minutes later, she came downstairs and yelled at me to keep it down because she was trying to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 872

You deserved it 287

By Michelle - 01/09/2010 08:27 - Netherlands

Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 984

You deserved it 3 466

By I'm Not Dead Yet - 09/06/2014 19:37 - United States - Tucson

Today, I put my headphones on and laid down to relax to some music. I fell asleep, and woke up later to a police officer busting into my house. My neighbor had been knocking on my door, then looked through my window and saw me on my couch, and was convinced I'd died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 752

You deserved it 5 214

By ouch - 07/04/2015 01:51 - United States - Union City

Today, I stopped to replace a stuffed bear that had fallen from a small memorial for a girl killed nearby. Her mom happened to walk by and thought I was stealing it. She hit me with her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 559

You deserved it 2 474

Exhausted

By FML - 24/07/2014 15:59 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 520

You deserved it 24 286

By BedazzledAlpaca - 08/12/2014 05:03 - United States - Englewood

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 837

You deserved it 4 298

Lock your doors

By homealone - 14/12/2016 23:27 - United States - Poughkeepsie

Today, after a long day at work, I fell asleep in my living room. When I woke up, I saw a man leaving my bedroom wearing my pajamas, and I started screaming as he casually left. The cops came and apparently he's mentally ill. He truly believed it was his house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 292

You deserved it 557

Occam's razor

By anonymous - 12/02/2011 05:48 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 799

You deserved it 4 710

By RosaP - 28/02/2009 06:40 - Canada

Today, I slept over at a friend's house. We decided to dress up as ninjas and play a trick on her younger brothers, sleeping in the basement. While sneaking down the stairs, in the dark, her mother came home. Thinking I was a robber, she beat me with a lamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 323

You deserved it 42 351

Caught

By Anonymous - 25/10/2015 02:47 - United States - Apollo

Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 590

You deserved it 7 903

DarkAngelsBlade 25

Thursday 20 February 2020 1:54

Yeah if she’s not recognizing you she needs to have someone with her at all times. My grandfather isn’t that bad yet but he’s still a danger to himself.

Rsonicgamer_fml 6

Thursday 20 February 2020 9:07

Really ? Someone sleeping on a couch, you wake up with a gun pointed to his head ? I'm guessing it's somewhere in the US, if true, but anyway the cops where you live need to learn to keep their cool...

Comments

campdude90 15

Thursday 20 February 2020 1:26

Does she have dementia? That sounds like something my grandma would do. When I wasn’t living with her, I always identified myself when I walked in, just to CYA. There were times when we didn’t have keys and I had to call the fire department. After that, I always had a key.

DarkAngelsBlade 25

Thursday 20 February 2020 1:54

Yeah if she’s not recognizing you she needs to have someone with her at all times. My grandfather isn’t that bad yet but he’s still a danger to himself.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Friday 21 February 2020 0:36

My guess is OP was lying face down, and his mom panicked and called the cops, instead of turning his head to see who he was.

WistayShlaio82 13

Thursday 20 February 2020 8:29

You’re unarmed and you were awoken with a gun in your face? Ok well...I have a feeling it was a color issue. That color wasn’t blue either.

Rsonicgamer_fml 6

Thursday 20 February 2020 9:07

Aj Castelletto 11

Thursday 20 February 2020 22:20

yeah most cops have no chill in the us. neither do civilians though lol

chris_lillo 15

Friday 21 February 2020 8:34

Honestly doesn't make sense... wonder how true the story is

JuliaKay14 33

Sunday 23 February 2020 22:04

You’re not wrong

EmDizzle2007 28

Thursday 20 February 2020 22:13

plot twist, it wasn't his mother's house. his mother died seven years ago, and that's the house she used to live in. he hasn't come to terms with it, and breaks out of the asylum regularly to visit her.