So, do you work in a reality parallel to ours or is your boss a couple apples short of a fruit cake?

I think his boss is just an ass. That's my guess.

Wtf? In the real world, it would be inappropriate to secretly drug your boss, dress him in a banana costume and shove a pole up his ass, saying "Hello Mr. Bananaman on a steek!", but this isn't the real world. Wild you go.

your boss is just plain dumb. What world does he think were living in then? Sorry you didn't get a raise.

I don't get the fixation with raises. Well i do, people want more money, but everywhere you turn you hear about the "tough economic times" it only makes sense for raises to be less common. Suck it up.

You live in Michigan. And while it sucks that you didn't get a raise, be glad you are not part of the 14% without any job at all.

I'm sorry that you didn't get the raise but that was a hilarious thing for your boss to say. Even if he is an ass.

Start showing up late and doing lots of random stuff like going to the bathroom in your cubicle and just randomly getting up and leaving meetings and coming back with a pizza. That way when he asks why you're acting this way, you can say "Well, in the real world, I wouldn't. But this isn't the real world."

Could've been worse. He could've said: we're in a f*cking recession you moron. You're lucky you still have a job. On second thought..

ydi u deserve the raise.