Inappropriate, Cars and Intimacy: Inappropriate

Inappropriate

By aninnocentonlooker - 04/12/2011 05:35 - United States

Today, I was driving my drunk best friend and his "new friend" back to his house. Halfway, this new friend started to give him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 493

You deserved it 3 903

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/07/2009 01:53 - United States

Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 416

You deserved it 6 081

By Sam - 03/12/2011 10:03 - United States

Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 024

You deserved it 9 617

By bestbfever - 17/05/2017 02:00

Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 834

You deserved it 408

By Inconnu - 18/06/2011 05:13 - France

Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 572

You deserved it 3 857

Oh what a night

By EmployeeOfTheMonth - 09/06/2013 23:33 - United States - Montpelier

Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 458

You deserved it 9 130

By THOMASisMYname - 06/07/2011 17:06 - Canada

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 848

You deserved it 4 609

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 243

You deserved it 365

By Tomaino - 18/08/2019 04:02

Today, my best friend got drunk and told me he's only friends with me because no one else will be friends with him. He then went on to tell me that he wasn't actually that drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 699

You deserved it 143

By Anonymous - 18/05/2009 06:45 - Canada

Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 986

You deserved it 23 997

TMI

By Anonymous - 26/09/2010 23:52 - United States

Today, I learned that my girlfriend gives good head. I didn't find out by getting one, I found out by my drunk best friend telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 875

You deserved it 3 027

aFreedom127 9

Sunday 4 December 2011 12:49

Nothing beats a good BJ.

Enslaved 36

Sunday 4 December 2011 12:59

Did you keep both hands on the wheel?

Comments

maphineRAWRS 10

Sunday 4 December 2011 14:56

Yeah I defiantly pictured a guy at first and I somewhat resembled the cereal meme guy hahah

david12z 0

Sunday 4 December 2011 15:11

Well if you couldn't help but watch who didn't you join

dartzli 3

Sunday 4 December 2011 15:20

I'm pretty sure you mean why not join. But I totally agree. Why not join? Lmao

BobsUrAunty 2

Sunday 4 December 2011 16:04

probably because he was driving -_-

redmnky21 8

Sunday 4 December 2011 15:16

and u just let her? you're a hell of a loyal friend

Dcm210 19

Sunday 4 December 2011 15:23

gotta give you something for the ride home.

redmnky21 8

Sunday 4 December 2011 15:18

crap I'm so tired I missread the post

momo1972 3

Sunday 4 December 2011 15:33

Never waste good wood

Mackenzie99 6

Sunday 4 December 2011 15:32

Aha well ... At least they had a good time

rattusrattus 18

Sunday 4 December 2011 15:34

The whole purpose of good friendship is good oral sex.

dhardesty23 8

Sunday 4 December 2011 15:47

true friend right there!

bambam7291 2

Sunday 4 December 2011 16:37

I hope his new friend was a chick.

Keywords

Transportation Awkward Cars Embarrassing Kids Family Babysitter Relatable Thief Money Mental health Health Depression Work Wanker Bodyshaming Love Annoying Vacation Students Parenting Intimacy AITA First Dates Singing Animals Cats Public freakouts Weddings Cops

The Top

Today, we were supposed to go on a weekend camping trip with our Scout troop. On Thursday I wasn't feeling well but I made it through school okay. Dad forced me to pack up immediately after school, even though I felt worse. I threw up on the porch on the way out. Dad thinks I did this on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 50

...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 4

The Top

Today, I went to a haunted house with my fiancé. A few minutes in, I saw someone following us so I turned and screamed. She ran off and my fiancé explained that she wasn't an actor, just a lady with a pigment disorder. I can never go back there again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 387

You deserved it 764

Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 918

You deserved it 7 466

Today, when my ex said he wanted to be friends, what he meant was that he wanted me to help him hook up with 18-year-olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 376

You deserved it 959

Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 773

You deserved it 224

Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 871

You deserved it 10 323

Today, for my boyfriend's 21st birthday, I wore sexy lingerie, put on a naughty librarian outfit, and did a strip tease for him. He just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 670

You deserved it 5 353

Inappropriate

Same thing different taste

Oh what a night

TMI

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