Today, I was driving my drunk best friend and his "new friend" back to his house. Halfway, this new friend started to give him head. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML
Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML
Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML
Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, my best friend got drunk and told me he's only friends with me because no one else will be friends with him. He then went on to tell me that he wasn't actually that drunk. FML
Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
aFreedom127 9
Nothing beats a good BJ.
Enslaved 38
Did you keep both hands on the wheel?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (155)
nado13579 12
If the friend is a guy... This would be interesting to see their reactions when you tell them once they're sober. :]
bandit6 2
I kinda get the idea that the "new friend" is another guy. OP is finding out his best friend is gay.
nelsokev 6
You never said the sex of his new friend. So if its a female that's cool just don't watch. If its a dude fest that's messed FYL
hookemhrns 0
Yep!! Roadie!
BGirlCloud 4
The awkwardness man. THE AWKWARDNESS.
shots1996 8
Jealous?
harlan71 0
I've had this happen but I only found out by looking in my mirror to see who was bright lighting me
Jordan740 6
Try your best to keep your eyes on the ROAD
FuckJordansLife 3
why pay for **** when you see the real thing for free?
chubby_choco 17
For future reference: it it totally legit to stop the car and kick BOTH their horny asses out so they can walk home if that happens again.