Kids and Parenting: Little shit - FML

Little shit

By emmalou - 29/08/2022 06:00

Today, my son tried extort me into turning the WiFi back on by hiding my purse. He was mad because he'd lost access for being disrespectful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 235

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Same thing different taste

By Howdoiwatchpoliticsnow - 29/05/2016 20:06 - United States - Newton

Today, I tried to get my son off of the couch by turning off the wifi. Afterward, I went to watch tv. Turns out he got me back by turning off the cable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 953

You deserved it 6 539

The student becomes the master

By Anonymous - 28/04/2020 17:00

Today, I threatened my kids I’d turn off their WiFi unless they did their chores, so my eldest chimed in, "Please, we changed the WiFi password months ago in case you tried to threaten us like this," then turned off my WiFi, which I need to work from home. I had to beg a 12-year-old to let me work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 826

You deserved it 2 361

By Dana - 16/11/2018 15:30

Today, I told my son if he wanted the new internet password he had to clean his room. I then caught him disconnecting my laptop from the internet. Turns out he changed the password months ago and now if I want the new password he wants £50. I ended up paying. I'm actually proud of the sneaky sod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 599

You deserved it 3 448

Co-parenting

By not helping - 17/09/2020 17:02 - United States

Today, I confiscated my daughter’s tablet, phone and laptop after I caught her exchanging nudes with boys. My ex then called me in a rage, threatening to take me to court over “stealing his belongings” since he purchased them. No concern for our daughter’s behavior, just him wanting the stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 381

You deserved it 167

By female - 31/12/2018 20:00

Today, my nineteen-year-old son attempted to mug me. With a screwdriver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 910

You deserved it 371

Hellspawn

By Anonymous - 24/04/2022 22:00

Today, I told my son that if he doesn’t sort his life out, I’d change the Wi-Fi password. His answer, "Good luck old man, I changed it months ago and unless you leave me alone, I’ll disconnect your living room TV." I’m disabled so I need the TV to cope with being depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 361

Dumbass

By Anonymous - 21/11/2022 04:00

Today, my son is an idiot, but I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt by giving him a job as a cashier in one of my stores. Within half an hour, I was sent security footage from that store's manager showing my son on his phone, ignoring customers, picking his nose, and stealing money from the till. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 439

By ElemTeacher - 02/01/2018 15:00

Today, a student's parent yelled at me because they had to pay for school equipment their son had stolen from my desk. Apparently, it's my fault because the item was just too tempting for him not to steal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 730

You deserved it 267

Memory man

By Dad Fail - 07/02/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my dad let me use his phone. Five minutes later, he had my mom call it because he thought he'd lost it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 123

Grifter

By Anonymous - 13/02/2018 01:30

Today, my phone went missing. My 8-year-old son took it to school and sold it for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 707

You deserved it 677

Next

Top comments

n3rdn3ss 8

Monday 29 August 2022 6:19

Had to do similar things for my son when it came to not doing school work. After a month of limited access, for school work only (phone was also limited and certain apps blocked), learned a good lesson. He was too frightful to try any retaliation like that though, good luck OP.

Bogrbon 27

Monday 29 August 2022 7:15

Were that my kid he’d been grounded from all forms of electronics except for schoolwork for a month for trying. And for every minute that the purse doesn’t show up, that’d be an extra month. He’d get mouthy and yell, and likely wouldn’t give in until the count was at 2-3 months minimum.

Comments

n3rdn3ss 8

Monday 29 August 2022 6:19

Had to do similar things for my son when it came to not doing school work. After a month of limited access, for school work only (phone was also limited and certain apps blocked), learned a good lesson. He was too frightful to try any retaliation like that though, good luck OP.

poopface82 19

Monday 29 August 2022 6:28

Look on the bright side - your son doesn’t have to worry about doing well in school, since he has a fine career ahead of him as a mob boss. And you know those guys always take care of their mamas.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 29 August 2022 6:53

1. Turn the WiFi back on 2. Get your purse back. 3. Put your purse in a secure location 4. Turn the WiFi off. 5. (Optional) Beat your child for pulling that shit. Kids can't play 3-dimensional chess like we parents can.

Bogrbon 27

Monday 29 August 2022 7:15

Were that my kid he’d been grounded from all forms of electronics except for schoolwork for a month for trying. And for every minute that the purse doesn’t show up, that’d be an extra month. He’d get mouthy and yell, and likely wouldn’t give in until the count was at 2-3 months minimum.

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The Top

Today, my sister was concerned that her daughter (my niece) was sick, and hesitant to take her to the ER. I asked if she'd eaten something she shouldn't have, and she replied, "No, especially since we feed her the most healthy food we can." This was fine until I flipped out when she said, "We even give her raw milk so that she'll be strong." FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 121

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 886

You deserved it 61 114

The Top

Today, my landlord told me he is raising my rent next month. I thought he was kidding until he asked if I still wanted to live here. My landlord is also my live-in boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 171

You deserved it 3 974

Today, I woke up from an amazing dream I was having about my girlfriend. We were laughing and holding hands, the kind of dream I wanted to stay asleep for. When I finally got up, I was excited to tell her about the dream but then I remembered. We broke up a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 431

You deserved it 1 804

Today, I found out through his Facebook update and a text message that my fiancé demoted me to girlfriend status. I was sitting in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 782

You deserved it 3 162

Today, our chocolate Labrador ran away. My dad adopted it because he really wanted a hunting dog, promising he'd be in charge of its training and feeding. I ended up getting saddled with that instead. The dog was so hyper it was untrainable, and dad blamed me when it burst out of its kennel and bolted into the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 123

Today, I needed to pee at my friend's house. His bathroom door is often left closed even if there's no one in there, so I knocked just to make sure. His stepdad opened the door stark naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 957

You deserved it 2 799

Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 813

You deserved it 10 437