By Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I found out that my Mum has spent the money she's been saving for my wedding on moving house. She called saving for a wedding for me a 'pointless cause' as it's probably never going to happen now. I'm only 22. FML
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By  Michyxo  |  14

Well... You're 22 and seemingly not in a meaningful relationship? If you're going to be way older when you get married (30+), it seems reasonable to assume you'll pay for it yourself.

  skittle68  |  0

What is it with adults thinking their parents should pay for ANYTHING (college, weddings, etc)? My parents made me start working to start paying for my own school clothes when I was 14 and it served me well. Grow up OP.

  C6Racer  |  0

You're missing the point. Yea, everyone should have to work for their own shit. However, her mom not only gave OP her word, but she's also telling OP that she has no future since she isn't married yet. That's a bitch move.


She can, but I think her mom told her she would save for her wedding, so she was counting on that. She will probably start saving he own money, but she's probably disappointed. Understand?

  SeedlessMe  |  13

Really Shelby? Maybe you youngings here don't know this, but Traditionally, the brides parents are supposed to pay for the wedding. I know old school rules don't mean much in the US, but in many other coutries, they stick to them when possible.
~ Just sayin...

  SShelbyy  |  1

I do know it is traditional, but I don't really think this is a FML. She hasn't said he is in a committed relationship, so I think she is capable of raising the money on her own for HER wedding. It is her mother's money and she can do whatever she wants with it.

By  Michyxo  |  14

Well... You're 22 and seemingly not in a meaningful relationship? If you're going to be way older when you get married (30+), it seems reasonable to assume you'll pay for it yourself.

  Michyxo  |  14

Because if someone gets married when they're younger (say, 18-24), there's a good likelihood that person is still in school and can't financially manage almost any sort of wedding. When you reach a more mature age, and are more financially stable/secure, it's a little more pathetic to be begging your parents for money.

  Listerboo  |  2

Age doesn't matter when judging the validity of the love and marriage (relative maturity does). However, the assumption is that brides and grooms in their 20's are just starting out, possibly saddled with student loan debt, and have not yet hit their peak wage-earning years. So, often, the parents will pay for or offset their wedding expenses.

(Yes, traditionally the bride's parents pay for the wedding, while the groom's parents pay for the officiant and the alcohol--however, I reject such arbitrary gender rules. These serve to perpetuate the stereotype that daughters are a burden.)

However, once the bride and groom pass the 30-year mark, they are assumed to have been at their jobs for a while, earning more money--and their parents are at the age where they may be retiring and having to make due with less money.

Parents are never legally or morally obligated to pay for the wedding. However, there's no excuse for OP's mother's behavior.
a. The mother had previously agreed to pay for the wedding, but had now changed her mind and spent it
b. She informed her daughter by way of insult. To assume a woman will remain single because she hasn't married by 22 is ridiculous. It would have been a little better if the mother had been painfully honest with her daughter that she was weak and dipped into funds that were meant for other people. However, instead of admitting fault, the mother decided to justify her actions--and add insult to injury in the process. I am truly sorry to the OP.

By  justmeagirl  |  0

My parents did the same- spent the money for my wedding between my 2 sisters' weddings- but at least I'm 27, and actually probably never going to get married because I'm ugly! lol.