Today, my husband and I were having sex in the shower while our 5-year old was sleeping. Apparently, she wasn't sleeping and she asked me what those loud noises were. I told her I was singing. Now I can't get her to stop "singing" in the shower. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom laughed about hearing me singing in the shower and told our whole family. I wasn't singing, though. I was masturbating. FML
Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML
Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML
Today, while I was showering, someone left a note on the bathroom door that read, "We can all hear you masturbating. Shut the hell up." I don't know what's more embarrassing, that everyone in my house thought I was masturbating or that I was actually singing. FML
Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML
Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML
Today, I was singing in the shower, not realising the window was open. When I got out, the neighbours were at the front door, loudly arguing with my mother. They were complaining about my awful singing. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year-old son came in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML
Today, I was singing in the shower and my neighbor called the police because they thought I was in trouble. FML
Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML
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Top comments
purplestuff_fml 0
Ugh. I don't get why you can't just hold in your moan. Atleast take it out with breathing.. ******* hate when my mom screams for ages. Yeah, I'm a sick little bastard, I know.
PositiveChillout 0
Just make sure she doesn't shower when you're having company over!!
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Comments (211)
naja_12168 3
Long or not, you didn't have to read it. So why bother complaining?
NewLight8421 0
hahahaha, 10 years from now there'll be another fml :P
filmil 0
wow u r one dumb bitch. u were probably some brainless **** b4 u became a mother
DecemberC 0
My little brother was 4 when his slightly older friends (5 or 6) told him about it. So my mum briefly and appropriately explained what it was. He hasn't grown up scarred for life. People need to relax- there is nothing shameful about sex so if it comes up, why lie?
NoodleBurger 0
Your *5-year-old* showers? Good one.
CruelSirDrum 0
OUCH. nothing gets by the observation behavior of a kid.
SquidKid 0
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GODDDDDDDDDDDD YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!" Great song there. *sniffles*
koneko12984 0
yes. because people who have sex at all are automatically *****. roflmao.
yepitsme 0
oh good, we've moved on to expressing our thoughts in comment form instead of declaration of independence form. all im saying is the sooner she learns about sex, the sooner she can learn to be SAFE about it. i didnt say not DO it, i said be SAFE about it. we know shes gonna do it, atleast teach her to protect herself, obviously she wont do it at 5, but if she learns when shes young she'll be ready as soon as the time comes. and good for her parents for having a healthy sex life.
colourmealy 0
i agree with #78. i sure didnt shower when i was 5 lol