Today, my husband and I were having sex in the shower while our 5-year old was sleeping. Apparently, she wasn't sleeping and she asked me what those loud noises were. I told her I was singing. Now I can't get her to stop "singing" in the shower. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom laughed about hearing me singing in the shower and told our whole family. I wasn't singing, though. I was masturbating. FML
Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML
Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML
Today, while I was showering, someone left a note on the bathroom door that read, "We can all hear you masturbating. Shut the hell up." I don't know what's more embarrassing, that everyone in my house thought I was masturbating or that I was actually singing. FML
Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML
Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML
Today, I was singing in the shower, not realising the window was open. When I got out, the neighbours were at the front door, loudly arguing with my mother. They were complaining about my awful singing. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year-old son came in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML
Today, I was singing in the shower and my neighbor called the police because they thought I was in trouble. FML
Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML
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Top comments
purplestuff_fml 0
Ugh. I don't get why you can't just hold in your moan. Atleast take it out with breathing.. ******* hate when my mom screams for ages. Yeah, I'm a sick little bastard, I know.
PositiveChillout 0
Just make sure she doesn't shower when you're having company over!!
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Comments (211)
naja_12168 3
Oh, and Vanita? Considering a child can enter puberty as early as eight, waiting until puberty to teach a child about sex to the degree you're suggesting is NOT a bad thing.
amazingkate 0
it's not that parents shouldn't have sex, and it's not that kids shouldn't know about sex, it's just that parents shouldn't have loud sex. if i've learned anything from these FMLs.
inkiepie 0
try to be more careful nextime.
Teddyburr 0
Sex in the shsower is amazeing! :)
senorita_z 0
But you can explain puberty and such before the child reaches that age without having to go in to detail. Even if they are "mature enough" to handle such talk, there is no need to tell a five year old about sex.
dakotan22 0
haha this is like the best to read while watching hancock... well im very sorry to hear that... HAHAHA its funnier than hell
Ninja_Cat 0
Wow this sounds just like about 100 other fmls
somethingawesome 9
ummmm awkward.
lil_miss_shorty 2
Remember this. Then, when she grown up and brings home her first boyfriend to meet the parents, share this anecdote with them...
thedeepthinker 0
Child: Mommy, where do babies come from? Mom: (pulls pants down) Here!