Today, I met a hot guy at the club. We danced and had a really good time, so I invited him home with me for the night. The next morning, I awoke to the sound of what I thought to be running water. I looked up to find him, naked, and pissing into my air conditioner unit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML
Today, I was at a local club with my friends sitting at a table when some guys approached us. One of them started telling me about his recent adventures through Europe and was very interesting. Something warm hit my leg and I realized the guy was urinating on me. FML
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, after taking a guy home and getting frisky, he woke up in the middle of the night, got out of bed, and peed on my desk. That's 2 years of uni work and my laptop soaked through. FML
Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML
Today, I finally got to hook up with this hot guy I'd been talking to for a few weeks. To my surprise, he was sinfully drunk when he arrived. As we were going at it, he shat on my white carpet. Now the phrase "f***ing the shit out of someone" has a brand new meaning for me. FML
Today, my kids did not tell me the AC guy was here. I got up and went to the restroom in my bra and underwear, and the AC guy was standing in the bathroom. Our AC unit is downstairs, so both me and the AC guy were shocked. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML
Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML
Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs. I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex. Afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd also had great sex. FML
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Top comments
Helldozer 0
YDI for bringing random people into your apartment, *****.
breakthesky 0
Haha um...
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Comments (160)
babawaba 0
He was just marking his territory.
cinderella_smile 0
LOL FYL. thats what you get for just taking home randoms and having sex with them
TerminallyChill 0
I sure hope he was still drunk. Actually, if not it's even funnier...
Indiana_fml 4
Bwahahahaha at #24 XD
Wallcock 0
Amazing story. Did he say anything to you after he'd finished? Also, this story really isn't about how OP brought home a stranger and caught STDS, got robbed, raped and murdered. At no stage does the OP mention that at all. Get the **** over it. It's about him pissing in her air-conditioner, which is a far better story.
Gavik 0
lolwut
jsmith6690 0
Haha thats hilarious but #22 there is a problem with random hookups outside stds. Its called using people as merely a means to an end. you are using the person in the same way you would a piece of cake or a video game - just for the pleasure of it. In this way you are not treating the person with proper respect or dignity, but rather as tools.
AmberE 0
three words: what the ****? Thats so ****** up and doesnt make any sense
jsmith1199 4
hahaha #22 you must be a ***** too if you're sticking up for her.
AnneFTW 17
You deserve it for being an easy ****.