By Anonymous - 8/1/2021 23:01

Whoops

Today, I had a very important video call for my job. I hadn’t used the particular app in a long time so I hadn’t checked my screen name. Turns out the last time I used it was in March with my friends, and my name was "Euro Slut." My employers saw it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

241

You deserved it

860

Tweet

Share

Instadrama

Summertime sadness

Live from Salt Lake City

By Anonymous

Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1013

You deserved it

2852

Tweet

Share

By gotta_respond - United States - Piscataway

Today, I went to the supermarket with my husband and kids. A crazy old man started yelling at us and challenged us to fight him outside. Security had to escort us to our car. Why was he so mad? Our cart momentarily blocked his path to the beef jerky samples. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32440

You deserved it

3361

Tweet

Share

By Obviously works everywhere

The customer is always a dong

Today, a customer filed a formal complaint with corporate about me, because I wouldn't help her find things she wanted while I was off the clock. We were in a completely different store than the one where I actually work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3833

You deserved it

195

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Monterey

Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49170

You deserved it

3602

Tweet

Share

By chew toy - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, I went to see my sister and took a couple of dog biscuits for her dog. I forgot about them until later when I realised I had a hole in my pocket, near my crotch. The dog pointed this out by chomping my balls to get to the biscuits. My attempts to remove him resulted in more vigorous chewing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4101

You deserved it

769

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51629

You deserved it

7419

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I met a guy in a bar. He was sweet and funny so I asked him out for coffee later. He quickly turned me down, saying that I didn't even meet his first requirement. His first requirement was "looks like a girl." FML

I agree, your life sucks

37287

You deserved it

4390

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, at my wedding, when my husband heard "you may now kiss the bride" he swung me down romantically and was about to plant one on me when his arm slipped, causing me to fall on the floor hitting my head, and getting a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks

76864

You deserved it

4445

Tweet

Share

By Too fast. - Uruguay - Montevideo

Today, I got told by my classmates to slow down because I put too much pressure on them. I'm taking a class in accounting for the first time in my life, we are all over 25 and so far we are doing basic math. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9118

You deserved it

767

Tweet

Share

By CanWeAllGetOne - United States - Houston

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52727

You deserved it

13964

Tweet

Share

By Brittany - United States

Today, a guy professed his love for me in front of my friends. The guy is my first cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43553

You deserved it

3497

Tweet

Share

By jonnah - Canada

Today, I told my boyfriend I love him. His response? "Is that why you have been so clingy and annoying lately?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

32584

You deserved it

5252

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, at work, a customer ordered a caramel latte with no caramel. I made a regular latte after explaining that’s what it was. He got angry and threw it at me. I got fired for insulting his intelligence. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4876

You deserved it

284

Tweet

Share

By yourmom - United States

Today, I went to a museum that had exhibits of wax people in the hallways. We were taking pictures of what we thought to be a waxwork old lady. Turns out she was real. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24940

You deserved it

9495

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 4/3/2021 20:01

Touchy

Today, I found out that my paper about World War 2 has led my teacher to believe that I hate Jews. I wrote my paper about the technological advances made during the war, and made no mention of Jews. She and I are both Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1102

You deserved it

67

Tweet

Share

By gunnar

Today, my family and I went to Olive Garden. Due to my autism, I sometimes have a nervous tic, which presented itself while I was looking at the menu. I would have appreciated it if my mom hadn't then screamed at me to stop in front of the entire restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3492

You deserved it

623

Tweet

Share

By Krissy. - United States

Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

75630

You deserved it

4968

Tweet

Share

By mel - United States - Smithville

Today, the guy I buy weed from invited me to have Easter dinner with his family, since I've nowhere else to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24289

You deserved it

5232

Tweet

Share

By ineedayob - United States - La Mesa

Today, I went for an interview regarding a seasonal position I'd been offered at a grocery store. The manager showed up 45 minutes past the scheduled interview time, cheerfully greeted me, and took me back to his office, just to tell me that they don't hire seasonal help. Ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46822

You deserved it

3745

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I was sitting in my room when my dad came in to ask if I wanted the rest of his cake. I'd made it for my cousin's wedding, and spent 2 days preparing it. The wedding is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2067

You deserved it

124

Tweet

Share

By Time to study again

Today, I was taking the SAT and feeling really confident in my answers. When we were close to finishing, some idiot pulled the fire alarm. All of us have to retake it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4550

You deserved it

208

Tweet

Share

By Poor as fuck

With friends like these…

Today, I stayed with a friend because I was recently kicked out of my home and had nowhere to go. When I went out for job applications, she asked, "Can you pick me up a pack of smokes?" and then got mad that I didn't have the money, calling me selfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1674

You deserved it

305

Tweet

Share

By loz4151336

Criminal minds at their best

Today, my friends wanted to try to dine and dash at a McDonald's. I had to explain why that wouldn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1525

You deserved it

186

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got a ticket for being drunk in public. I was walking a couple blocks from the bar to my house, because I didn't want to drive drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25402

You deserved it

2659

Tweet

Share

By Spa Catholic - United States - Taunton

Today, I saw a woman being mugged. I ran up to help and pushed the guy off of her. She then punched me in the face and called the cops because she was, "just living out a fantasy" and I'm, "a lunatic for trying to help." FML

I agree, your life sucks

31451

You deserved it

2095

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Checked out

Today, at work, an old lady was staring at my crotch a lot. I looked down, thinking maybe I had an open fly. I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1316

You deserved it

151

Tweet

Share

By a chick in California - United States - Ceres

Today, all my guy friends kept hugging me tightly and then softly and then tightly again. I later found out they just wanted to feel my boobs on their chests. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35099

You deserved it

8655

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, I woke up at 4:40AM and went to the kitchen. My brother and his steel-capped boots easily found me in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28934

You deserved it

3832

Tweet

Share

By let ‘Er rip

The Sweet Smell of Success

Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1615

You deserved it

533

Tweet

Share

By PookaKay02 - United States

Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29946

You deserved it

8589

Tweet

Share

By tinygirl

Today, it's official, we measured. My boyfriend's manboobs are bigger than my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54211

You deserved it

11166

Tweet

Share

By Drill Drilled - United States - Lake Elsinore

Today, I tripped while rushing to my classes. In a desperate attempt to regain my balance, I grabbed the nearest thing to me. A fire alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31340

You deserved it

3958

Tweet

Share

By f

Today, I was attacked by my dad because I got my hair dyed and he thought I was a robber. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30204

You deserved it

7883

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45807

You deserved it

7011

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia - Perth

Today, I was at a very important meeting with a client and I had to use the bathroom. I was so nervous that I squirted white soap all up my suit jacket. My client walked in and commented on my "jizzy" blazer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20036

You deserved it

2097

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Albuquerque

Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15157

You deserved it

1237

Tweet

Share

By earlytermination - United States

Today, I was visiting my grandmother at her retirement community. Bingo is really popular there and she loves it, so I went thinking it would be a fun activity for us. I won the jackpot and my car got keyed by a group of angry old people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29949

You deserved it

2428

Tweet

Share

By erockinthesuburb - United States

Today, I purchased a box of girl scout cookies from a coworker. I wanted to save them for later at home, so I placed them on my desk and then headed to a meeting. When I returned, there was an empty box sitting there with a post-it note saying, "Thanks!" Nobody will own up to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30334

You deserved it

6320

Tweet

Share

By blue15564 - United States - Davenport

Today, my dad grounded me for not having any friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11292

You deserved it

1128

Tweet

Share

By fmT719 - United Kingdom

Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23527

You deserved it

17336

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Seeya55 | 31

#7963212 - Saturday 9 January 2021 13:40

My personal rule is dont use any personal accounts with work related things. Always separate and this won't happen.

By kfchicken_fml | 31

#7964495 - Friday 15 January 2021 0:55

you do realize our whole society runs on technology? if you're using it you have to take accountability

COMMENTS

By Annies | 13

#7963116 - Saturday 9 January 2021 0:14

As a personal rule, if it has anything to do with technology, I won’t hit YDI.

Reply

Seeya55 | 31

#7963212 - Saturday 9 January 2021 13:40

My personal rule is dont use any personal accounts with work related things. Always separate and this won't happen.

Reply

kfchicken_fml | 31

#7964495 - Friday 15 January 2021 0:55

you do realize our whole society runs on technology? if you're using it you have to take accountability

By BurnInDemonFire | 30

#7963510 - Monday 11 January 2021 5:49

I have ADHD, and even my attention span isn't this bad.

And before anyone says it, the "shiny object" thing doesn't affect all of us.