Kids, Painful and Health: Have a baby they said, it'll be fun they said

Have a baby they said, it'll be fun they said

By Anonymous - 25/11/2010 13:28 - United Kingdom

Today, my six-month-old daughter decided to explore my nose, and before I could stop her she shoved her thumb deep in there. She thought it was hilarious when blood started gushing down my shirt. My nose is agony to touch and I still had to clean her up first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 066

You deserved it 3 944

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Same thing different taste

Kids are gross

By Shawn - 28/03/2021 05:01

Today, I taught my 18 month-old daughter to wipe the green, snotty mucus from under her nose with a tissue. To which, like a ninja, she then wiped my open-mouthed upper lip with that same snotty tissue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 178

By B - 18/04/2011 08:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I thought it would be funny to tickle my daughter's foot, which she hates. One bloody nose, multiple scratches and 4 toe-shaped bruises later, she's the one laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 638

You deserved it 58 232

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 555

You deserved it 3 440

By Anonymous - 12/05/2012 22:09 - Netherlands - Vianen

Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 500

You deserved it 24 703

By bodhimae - 03/05/2009 07:15 - France

Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 084

You deserved it 2 372

By KnuckleSandwich - 20/07/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I received a medical bill because my daughter thought it would be hilarious to try and fit her fist in her mouth. She succeeded in getting it in, but not in getting it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 657

You deserved it 3 751

By gbabyy - 22/11/2009 03:25 - United States

Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 744

You deserved it 6 889

Sorry sweetie

By ddhaley1 - 18/07/2015 19:08 - United States - Edmond

Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 519

You deserved it 3 187

What am I doing?

By janesays - 24/02/2010 07:45 - United States

Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 592

You deserved it 66 547

By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 867

You deserved it 5 239

clownman 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 16:10

shouldve played dead and waited for daddy to get home. you dead and your daughter has blood on her hands - that would freak the crap out of him!

aback 4

Thursday 25 November 2010 16:09

Better work on your reaction time. Next, she's going for an eye. "Aw-w...she's got her mommy's eyes. No, really!"

Comments

climbthoserocks 6

Thursday 25 November 2010 16:08

owowowowow! sorry!

KiddNYC1O 20

Thursday 25 November 2010 16:17

Agreed. Op, don't let your kid get a hold of Snuff videos... ever.

TheRealFamilyGuy 5

Thursday 25 November 2010 16:23

it's spanking season and I'm hankering for some spankering!

Siji 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 16:38

Sounds like a good child. >:)

black_knight402 0

Friday 26 November 2010 6:31

stick your fingers up her nose and she won't be laughing.

beachgirlmt 4

Friday 9 November 2012 1:06

The kid is 6 months old #16

ScenicSubterfuge 39

Sunday 28 April 2013 18:24

Wow... So painful!!

robz0rz 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 16:08

Thwt's nasty.

MRiKiCCS 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 18:10

lol and she calls herself a mother! smh

azhein 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 18:30

how is this the mothers fault?

MRiKiCCS 0

Friday 26 November 2010 0:02

sarcasim... -_- smh

Link5794 18

Friday 19 October 2012 16:13

It still doesn't make sense.

Niaa_fml 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 16:08

Woah that's extreme

prettyinpunk1025 14

Thursday 25 November 2010 16:08

maybe you should pay more attention and teach them manners

padlarf 14

Thursday 25 November 2010 16:27

6 months...

WhatTheFuq 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 16:37

Yeah it's the parents fault for not teaching the 6 month old manners. YDI

WhatTheFuq 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 16:39

lol. She's 6 months

aback 4

Thursday 25 November 2010 16:09

Better work on your reaction time. Next, she's going for an eye. "Aw-w...she's got her mommy's eyes. No, really!"

picklezz123 5

Thursday 25 November 2010 16:30

lol funny

leezylvl3 3

Thursday 25 November 2010 16:58

lollllllll

iSitt 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 17:08

"You have your father's eyes." "Yes I keep them in this box." - TopGun

iSitt 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 17:10

HotShots not TopGun

NJXD 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 17:16

Talk to me goose

treasurechest 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 16:09

oh wow. that sucks.

clownman 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 16:10

shouldve played dead and waited for daddy to get home. you dead and your daughter has blood on her hands - that would freak the crap out of him!

xlilmickiix 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 16:50

that's cruel, unusual and GENIUS.

Laurgasming 16

Thursday 25 November 2010 16:14

That's... gross.

brizzle123456 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 16:16

How does she get that far?

howitsdone 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 16:17

bitch you get no looove

desigirl2010 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 18:44

you don't hurt me. no mo.

Keywords

Teenagers Love Friends Intimacy Sex Embarrassing Work Food Revenge Parents Relatable Awkward Miscellaneous Weird Health Job interview Social Media Jealousy Facebook Relationship advice Kids AITA Roommate Shoes Annoying Music Names Customers Money Education

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I agree, your life sucks 6 353

You deserved it 323

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I agree, your life sucks 1 195

You deserved it 152

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I agree, your life sucks 43 295

You deserved it 2 895

Have a baby they said, it'll be fun they said

Same thing different taste

Kids are gross

Sorry sweetie

What am I doing?

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