Kids, Painful and Health: Have a baby they said, it'll be fun they said

Have a baby they said, it'll be fun they said

By Anonymous - 25/11/2010 13:28 - United Kingdom

Today, my six-month-old daughter decided to explore my nose, and before I could stop her she shoved her thumb deep in there. She thought it was hilarious when blood started gushing down my shirt. My nose is agony to touch and I still had to clean her up first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 066

You deserved it 3 944

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Kids are gross

By Shawn - 28/03/2021 05:01

Today, I taught my 18 month-old daughter to wipe the green, snotty mucus from under her nose with a tissue. To which, like a ninja, she then wiped my open-mouthed upper lip with that same snotty tissue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 178

By B - 18/04/2011 08:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I thought it would be funny to tickle my daughter's foot, which she hates. One bloody nose, multiple scratches and 4 toe-shaped bruises later, she's the one laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 638

You deserved it 58 234

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 556

You deserved it 3 440

By Anonymous - 12/05/2012 22:09 - Netherlands - Vianen

Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 500

You deserved it 24 705

By bodhimae - 03/05/2009 07:15 - France

Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 084

You deserved it 2 373

By KnuckleSandwich - 20/07/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I received a medical bill because my daughter thought it would be hilarious to try and fit her fist in her mouth. She succeeded in getting it in, but not in getting it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 657

You deserved it 3 751

By gbabyy - 22/11/2009 03:25 - United States

Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 744

You deserved it 6 889

Sorry sweetie

By ddhaley1 - 18/07/2015 19:08 - United States - Edmond

Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 519

You deserved it 3 187

What am I doing?

By janesays - 24/02/2010 07:45 - United States

Today, my 2 year-old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 592

You deserved it 66 547

By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 867

You deserved it 5 239

clownman 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 16:10

shouldve played dead and waited for daddy to get home. you dead and your daughter has blood on her hands - that would freak the crap out of him!

aback 4

Thursday 25 November 2010 16:09

Better work on your reaction time. Next, she's going for an eye. "Aw-w...she's got her mommy's eyes. No, really!"

Comments

michaelscott69 0

Friday 26 November 2010 14:56

ydi for not wearing a condom

skitzz 0

Friday 26 November 2010 22:25

if your going to complain about having a kid then don't have kids. CONDOMS, ever hear of them? no one wants to hear you bitch about something that's basically your own fault.

redhedsaysrawr 18

Wednesday 8 August 2012 17:33

you obviously dont have kids. or siblings. or parents. so **** off.

persimmon 0

Saturday 27 November 2010 21:19

spank that baby!!! bad baby!

misterJ_fml 0

Monday 29 November 2010 10:03

ooowwww. must have hurt. I laugh

Hunts160 5

Tuesday 7 December 2010 8:13

punch that bastard in the nose making it bleed and say im srry how does it feel?

citrusglass 22

Tuesday 8 March 2016 22:04

A six-month-old? What the hell is wrong with you, not only did OP's daughter not understand what she did, but she's very delicate. You should be ashamed of yourself for even suggesting that.