Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't follow her latest fad of becoming a goth, which involves dressing like an undertaker's haunted hearse and putting on eyeliner. Last week she was into Reggae and beanie hats. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, and since we met, my girlfriend has forced me to change my hair, clothing and jewellery, and my diet. She has changed basically everything about me. Then this morning she dumped me because I'm "not the guy she fell in love with a year ago". I'm not even upset because its too funny. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to get a new haircut. Now, she hates the haircut and blames me for, in her words, "turning me into something I'm not." FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I was "changing too much." My big change was a haircut. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML
Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML
Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she'd carved her old boyfriend's name in her arm, and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML
Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit at me because I laughed at her idea of getting the Cullen family tree tattooed on her back. FML
Today, my boyfriend had a tantrum because I didn't like Black Sabbath as much as him. Apparently our entire relationship was based on him thinking I did. I've now been labeled "The Queen of Lies." FML
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Top comments
faeynt 0
get a new gf :)
jsprackman 11
Maybe next she will dress like elton john
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Comments (316)
mikeymayhem_87 15
Silly scenester kids....
ilikepieandpie 11
hey op, f*#k you. nah seriously, if you're really so utterly stupid and judgemental than you dont really deserve a girlfriend
RedPillSucks 33
Are you OPs girlfriend?
monster_tamer 11
Now I know what the requirement is for FML staffers-- a spring of humor and wit, poised to strike at just the right moment.
ArielTheMermaid 17
44-lol funny xD
wykedjunky 0
How old is she 12?!?!?'
herponi 2
I think you best let this chick hit the road!
bonneh 0
Ahaha, she has got to be like 12. Thats pretty shit, deal with it, have a laugh or leave her. Dont bitch about it.
Shootzz 3
She wants you to dress up like a car? Am I reading that right?
stacianichole 2
I was wondering the same thing.
Muwahaha_fml 4
Didn't even notice that haha!
dbt88 15
I was really hoping someone else saw that and I wasn't just losing my mind
Fmn123 8
....And goodbye to you!
dr_horrible_ 10
So leave her. She sounds annoying as hell.
mmmBaby 2
I love your pony icon foo, DOPE:)
superguppy19 3
Have fun with her dude every moment is a new experience live life and have fun