Weird, Creepy and Intimacy: Great conversation starter - FML

Great conversation starter

By balkangirl94 - 23/12/2011 07:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 472

You deserved it 3 728

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

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Same thing different taste

By fme - 27/01/2018 15:00

Spicy

Today, my cousin came to visit from Texas. It would have been great if he hadn't groped me and whispered, "Incest isn't illegal" when he saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 826

You deserved it 359

Weirdo

By whateven333 - 18/02/2015 04:02 - United States - Gibsonia

Today, I told my cousin that I would gladly help him get through the loss of my aunt. That is until he started flirting with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 910

You deserved it 2 682

Freaked out

By anon - 07/02/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst visiting one of my distant cousins for the first time in years, she came onto me. After gently explaining to her that this was inappropriate, she broke down in tears. Whilst I awkwardly comforted her, she started stroking my inner thigh, apparently still trying to seduce me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 135

Comeback

By Pinsky - 20/09/2021 01:00 - United States - Chicago

Spicy

Today, I walked in on the guy I called a cuck in high school going down on my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 1 905

Inappropriate

By Anonymous - 24/04/2015 19:39 - Ireland - Mountmellick

Spicy

Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 630

You deserved it 3 252

Keeping it in the family

By Anonymous - 12/10/2021 15:01 - Jordan - Amman

Today, my dad tried to hook me up with someone. It wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 81

Pants on fire

By Anonymous - 30/12/2020 13:02 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was told by my sister over the dinner table that some guy is telling people I’ve had sex with him; that’s not even the worst part. He’s telling people my sister walked in. One, I haven’t talked to him in years; two, he’s really not my type, three, I’m in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 144

You deserved it 97

By Thai that on for size - 25/09/2015 19:56 - New Zealand - Silverdale

Today, a guy kept flirting with me despite all my hints for him to kindly fuck off and die, so I lied and said I'm a lesbian. This didn't stop him. It got so bad, I had to claim I was born with a dick and say that's why I like girls. Only then did he say "Eeewww..." and back off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 420

You deserved it 2 664

By paintfarts1976 - 10/05/2013 19:01 - Ireland - Mullingar

Spicy

Today, my husband angrily accused me of cheating on him. It turns out he thinks that because I've been spending time with my brother recently, the two of us must be having some kind of incestuous affair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 171

You deserved it 4 235

By Anonymous - 20/12/2016 07:28

Today, someone flirted with me. They kept touching me, insisting we should go out sometime, and hounding me for my number. At a family-only memorial service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 798

You deserved it 533

Next

Top comments

StoryOfTheYear 14

Friday 23 December 2011 12:02

"Well...only of you incest."

StoryOfTheYear 14

Friday 23 December 2011 12:11

Sigh... If you*

Comments

jdev234 3

Wednesday 5 September 2012 18:59

Was it your brother?

missababgaga 19

Friday 2 November 2012 18:53

Maybe he was talking about "Game of Thrones"

tewa21 12

Sunday 21 April 2013 2:14

I dont no how but this is the funniest thing ive heard all day. I need a life.

Alastor13X 8

Thursday 27 March 2014 22:09

Maybe he has watched Joe Dirt one too many times... None the less, I have no idea where a lot of guys get these pick up lines... "Hey... What if I told you that since we came from the same womb, or the womb of the same bloodlines, that I could make you see heaven?" -I'M YOUR SISTER! I'M YOUR SISTER! -YOU'RE MY SISTER!!!

quickit 24

Thursday 11 December 2014 16:56

Something the whole family can enjoy!

devinthomas 15

Thursday 22 January 2015 20:13

Probably southerner

miriamfrank 22

Friday 3 July 2015 0:09

Was he related to you?

memestasquaper 10

Tuesday 12 July 2016 19:52

Lel Florida

Keywords

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The Top

Today, after five years in a row of my family doing absolutely nothing to even acknowledge my birthday, I got train tickets to see my boyfriend for the weekend and celebrate with him. I woke up to six angry texts about how I'm "selfish" for not staying at home with my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 386

You deserved it 2 416

Today, it's been a week since I was dumped. I planned to stay at my apartment, cry, and eat chocolate in peace. My roommate decided to have loud sex with her boyfriend in the apartment. She refused to quiet down, saying, "My body, my rules." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 552

You deserved it 4 754

The Top

Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 514

You deserved it 2 719

Today, after numerous attempts, my car door still wouldn't unlock. After going ballistic on the lock, the key broke off inside. I then realized it wasn't my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 472

You deserved it 31 415

Today, at my sister's wedding, she and I had a plan that she would purposely throw the bouquet to my girlfriend, then I would propose in front of everyone. When the bouquet landed in my girlfriend's lap, she screamed, "Ew, no way" and threw it to someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 296

You deserved it 3 704

Today, the last customer of the night shift handed me their money along with a wad of their hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 715

You deserved it 2 390

Today, I discovered a tracking app enabled on my phone so I switched it off to save battery space. Within 20 minutes my mother rang and demanded to know where I was, what I was doing, if I was with some woman… you get the picture. I'm 32 and own my own apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 108

Today, I was talking to a guy when he pointed behind me and said, “Hey, what’s that?” I looked behind me and he burst out laughing, saying he “can’t believe I’m so stupid that I still fall for that old trick.” We were having a conversation, not a physical fight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 143