Dogs and Animals: Good girl - FML

Good girl

By vanessa560 - 03/01/2012 19:44 - Canada

Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 164

You deserved it 8 347

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Same thing different taste

Heavy load

By SoulStormIV - 12/05/2016 03:03 - United States - Castle Rock

Today, I thought it would be nice to take my obese dog for a walk, since she hasn't had one in a long time. She was doing great, until we were about a mile from our house. She plopped down on the ground and wouldn't move. Nobody was home so I had to carry her all the way back to our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 923

You deserved it 5 585

By life// - 08/01/2013 23:56 - Canada - Fort Mcmurray

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 656

You deserved it 5 192

By coloris - 03/08/2019 00:01

Today, I came home on crutches. My dog was immediately afraid of them, and came running towards me, growling and barking. She ran right into me, knocking me over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 642

You deserved it 131

By Anonymous - 24/04/2011 08:42 - United States

Today, my dog decided to chase a smaller dog for three blocks. When I finally caught up with him, he laid down and refused to go anywhere. I had to carry my 80 pounds Labrador like a baby all the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 289

You deserved it 7 452

Bad boy

By DogBeater - 21/06/2016 01:21 - United States

Today, I've just moved into a new apartment. It's also the day my big baby of a dog stepped on a rock and began yelping when I tried to touch his paw. He "suddenly" felt better after I carried him inside. Now everyone thinks I'm beating my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 070

You deserved it 850

Classic canine move

By Anonymous - 23/08/2020 22:49 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was walking my dog when another dog barked at him. My dog ran, pulling me with him. I fell to the ground in pain, with my hand still holding the leash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 313

By mraow123 - 30/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 387

You deserved it 4 658

By raven_teen_titan - 04/03/2012 05:51 - United States

Today, my dog wanted to go upstairs, but she has stitches and was having trouble. So I carried her to the top, at which point she peed all over my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 648

You deserved it 3 511

By Anonymous - 27/11/2011 22:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 452

You deserved it 3 600

By typical - 13/04/2013 23:49 - United States - Cheshire

Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 242

You deserved it 4 154

Next

Top comments

Peach3 1

Wednesday 4 January 2012 0:22

That awkward moment when you realize your dog is smarter than you...

kingsley_fml 8

Wednesday 4 January 2012 0:21

What a bitch.

Comments

bazookajoey 27

Saturday 21 December 2013 21:35

Smart dog you got OP!

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 30 January 2014 17:42

Guilt trip-dog 1 OP 0 If you just keep going most likely it will keep up...

checkurselfxxx 11

Friday 11 April 2014 9:59

that is pretty adorable I must say. :)

HunkyMumbles 27

Friday 27 June 2014 19:07

Your dog must be really smart!

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The Top

Today, I got popcorn when getting groceries. I was excited to see popcorn butter spray on sale and decided to try it. Excited, I made some popcorn while I went to use the can. Butter sprayed like an aerosol can all over my desk and floor. Now, my apartment smells like a movie theater and there's butter EVERYWHERE! FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 342

Today, after five years in a row of my family doing absolutely nothing to even acknowledge my birthday, I got train tickets to see my boyfriend for the weekend and celebrate with him. I woke up to six angry texts about how I'm "selfish" for not staying at home with my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 386

You deserved it 2 416

The Top

Today, I was in a shop with my 9 month-old son. He was babbling gibberish as babies do, and repeatedly said what sounded like the N-word. We're white. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 142

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 186

You deserved it 5 686

Today, exactly six months out from the biopsy of a spot on my leg approximately the size of a fleck of ground pepper, I have a 2-inch long scar and railroad scar dots from the stitches involved. Next time, get the dermatologist refer me to a plastic surgeon instead of doing it himself. Bonus? It still aches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 664

Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was going on, so I had two choices: say that I was sick or tell the truth. It’s been an hour since my mom started trying to give me a suppository to cure my “indigestion”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 385

Today, I've been trying to make the most out of my short vacation by dieting, by eating a big pot of yogurt with lots of fresh fruit every day. Turns out what I thought was yogurt is actually heavy cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 1 006

Today, I accidentally unplugged my headphones in the quiet section of the library, causing my music to play from my laptop at full volume. I was listening to Celine Dion. I'm the captain of the football team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 504

You deserved it 51 213