By Anonymous - 03/01/2012 23:07 - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 889
You deserved it 6 279

Same thing different taste

Top comments

FortuneCookie3 1

maybe he could suck the blockage out.


Your name fit your comment perfectly. Straight to the point like a commando with a slight classiness in delivery. Well done lol

kingsley_fml 8

@20: Only a bonehead wouldn't get that joke...

iDaniel525 8

I don't get the joke at all, but I still got a boner.

I'm not really sure this a joke, just seems like advice to me

lebronesque73091 12

Good luck explaining that to be your parents.

Hahahah! 1- Your joke sure tickled my funny bone! Silly goose. ;)

I realized it sounded like I was being sarcastic when I said good one to 23 but I wasn't..

You never go commando in another man's fatigues!

Get him a cow before he clog up your other gland

starburst7596 14

Haha 20's just getting torn a new one today

WCARlover, stop, you not helping youtlr case.

FortuneCookie3 1

maybe he could suck the blockage out.

RainbowHeadache 2

Actually it does. Comes out looking about like a grain of rice. The more you know.

DreBeezy 9

Well maybe you could do the same thing to him !!! Wait......

By mammary, it's breast he suck tit out..

AlaskanEskimo34 0

Give him blue balls. I guarentee he won't be laughing.

flakitaa22 0

Is it wrong that this turned me on?

Anyone else a little surprised there haven't been a whole heap of "pics or it didn't happen" comments?

iDaniel525 8

It's not because you said it on the Internet. We are all perfectly sane people here ;)

G0v3nat0r 7

I'm jealous of OP's boyfriend

flakitaa22 0
G0v3nat0r 7
Blackmail111 9

Wait wait wait! You let your boyfriend suck on your nips whenever he feels like (Which is most likely a lot)?

GoW_Chick 14

Ever hear of foreplay? Maybe they just went a little overboard with it

You need to study your own anatomy, sir.

#50, I find it funny that you think too much head would "suck"

Welllll, it is kind of hot. An unfortunate, rare scenario. The real FML is that he's a major jerk.

Blackmail111 9

I sense more pain coming for OP. First the **** are out of the way so he moves on to the vigina which = A trip to the gynocologist. After that he moves onto the ass which = A rectal exam. Finally he'll get to the mouth which will = A trip to the dentist. As a last resort he might try...KNEE SEX

Tdevonner 0

140...I think all the people who were turned on by the post itself are now all leaving fml n goin to **** thanks to ur play by play of endless clit sucking, butt *******, n cum swallowing...n if they werent clicking over before they are now! not speaking of myself tho.. ahem excuse me...

LiyIa_fml 8

I feel like, I've recently seen this comment before... Oh wait... I have. You lazy bum.

JustOhSoLovely 6

But his picture goes with it better

So I get called a bum by using the same joke twice..? Hahaha. Both the homeless man fapping and this situation work well with the comment.

That suckles :P Seriously though that is unfortunate for you but at least it seems he is rather into you.

Poser1337 5

Perhaps OPs significant other had a inadequate childhood due to being bottlefed as a wee little gaffer. Possibly he just wants the natural nipple feel he never got. Or he likes your *******. Or both.

Not all ppl who don't get breastfed have obsession with boobs. Think he's just obsessed wit them

lishy1311 0

I just think he is foreplaying..