By Anonymous - 03/01/2012 23:07 - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 834
You deserved it 6 262

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Top comments

Calcium gives him strong boners.

FortuneCookie3 1

maybe he could suck the blockage out.


Calcium gives him strong boners.

It's funny cause bones.

Your name fit your comment perfectly. Straight to the point like a commando with a slight classiness in delivery. Well done lol

kingsley_fml 8

@20: Only a bonehead wouldn't get that joke...

iDaniel525 8

I don't get the joke at all, but I still got a boner.

I'm not really sure this a joke, just seems like advice to me

lebronesque73091 12

Good luck explaining that to be your parents.

Hahahah! 1- Your joke sure tickled my funny bone! Silly goose. ;)

I realized it sounded like I was being sarcastic when I said good one to 23 but I wasn't..

You never go commando in another man's fatigues!

Get him a cow before he clog up your other gland

starburst7596 14

I see what you did there...

Haha 20's just getting torn a new one today

Your retarded

WCARlover, stop, you not helping youtlr case.

FortuneCookie3 1

maybe he could suck the blockage out.

It doesnt quite work that way.

RainbowHeadache 2

Actually it does. Comes out looking about like a grain of rice. The more you know.

DreBeezy 9

Well maybe you could do the same thing to him !!! Wait......

By mammary, it's breast he suck tit out..

Yum. Lumpy breastmilk?

AlaskanEskimo34 0

Give him blue balls. I guarentee he won't be laughing.

princess151617 4

That's gross

flakitaa22 0

Is it wrong that this turned me on?

GoW_Chick 14

No, no it's not.

Anyone else a little surprised there haven't been a whole heap of "pics or it didn't happen" comments?

iDaniel525 8

Pics or it didn't happen.

It's not because you said it on the Internet. We are all perfectly sane people here ;)

ibebrandy 4

No, no its not ;)

G0v3nat0r 7

I'm jealous of OP's boyfriend

flakitaa22 0

172- &im jealous of OP

G0v3nat0r 7

179- we can fix that

flakitaa22 0


You'll get over it.

Blackmail111 9

Wait wait wait! You let your boyfriend suck on your nips whenever he feels like (Which is most likely a lot)?

GoW_Chick 14

Ever hear of foreplay? Maybe they just went a little overboard with it

You need to study your own anatomy, sir.

#50, I find it funny that you think too much head would "suck"

Welllll, it is kind of hot. An unfortunate, rare scenario. The real FML is that he's a major jerk.

Isaac_The_Man 0

Get him a cow.

Blackmail111 9

I sense more pain coming for OP. First the tits are out of the way so he moves on to the vigina which = A trip to the gynocologist. After that he moves onto the ass which = A rectal exam. Finally he'll get to the mouth which will = A trip to the dentist. As a last resort he might try...KNEE SEX

Tdevonner 0

140...I think all the people who were turned on by the post itself are now all leaving fml n goin to porn thanks to ur play by play of endless clit sucking, butt fucking, n cum swallowing...n if they werent clicking over before they are now! not speaking of myself tho.. ahem excuse me...

LiyIa_fml 8

I feel like, I've recently seen this comment before... Oh wait... I have. You lazy bum.

JustOhSoLovely 6

But his picture goes with it better

So I get called a bum by using the same joke twice..? Hahaha. Both the homeless man fapping and this situation work well with the comment.

That suckles :P Seriously though that is unfortunate for you but at least it seems he is rather into you.

Poser1337 5

Well, doesn't THAT 'suck'?

You must have some nice titties.

kingsley_fml 8

Wow, he sounds like such a boob.

that comment is tits

kingsley_fml 8

That's the breast reply I've seen so far...

The beast reply in recent mammary.

Such a puntastic thread. K

Tits a lovely day

This is the breast thread ever!

Until you fuck tit up ^

Perhaps OPs significant other had a inadequate childhood due to being bottlefed as a wee little gaffer. Possibly he just wants the natural nipple feel he never got. Or he likes your titties. Or both.

Not all ppl who don't get breastfed have obsession with boobs. Think he's just obsessed wit them

Yeah. I think so also.

lishy1311 0

I just think he is foreplaying..