Intimacy: Get it on

Get it on

By WentInABush - 15/11/2012 07:23 - United States - Portland

Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 471

You deserved it 3 244

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
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Same thing different taste

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 634

You deserved it 9 112

Lock your doors

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 00:14

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 422

You deserved it 739

Just a prank, bro

By sarah - 28/03/2021 20:00

Today, my parents wouldn't stop making fun of my shy bladder by camping out in front of the bathroom door while I’m trying to pee. As a result, I haven’t peed in 10 hours and my bladder is going to explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 153

Sprinkler

By shelly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 908

You deserved it 7 556

By obtuse_ballsack - 04/06/2012 20:37 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 703

You deserved it 2 757

By dammitall - 15/05/2009 18:49 - United States

Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 407

You deserved it 4 877

By Peepants - 03/03/2016 23:03 - United States - Huntsville

Today, I really had to pee during one of my college lectures. I finally worked up the nerve to leave the room while he was lecturing, and ran frantically to the bathroom. Once in there, the urge intensified to the point I couldn't hold it. I peed my pants while standing in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 053

You deserved it 4 716

Oh, hi Mark!

By Anonymous - 26/08/2012 05:46 - United States - Olympia

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 031

You deserved it 3 918

Peaky Bladders

By Anonymous - 16/06/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house, dying to pee during a thunderstorm. Ran to the bathroom, but it was occupied. A huge thunderclap scared me pretty bad. When the door finally opened, my girlfriend's mom walked out, laughing. I realized the thunder scared me into peeing my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 445

You deserved it 426

Night terrors

By Anonymous - 12/07/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at night to go to the toilet. My Dad was doing his thing with the toilet door wide open. I saw, screamed at the top of my lungs and peed my pants in horror. Now my throat hurts and I'm too embarrassed to look at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 366

You deserved it 535

illmatic2 16

Thursday 15 November 2012 16:24

I'd go piss outside or something.

DocBastard 38

Thursday 15 November 2012 16:25

And that's why it's great to be a man - The outside world is our urinal.

Comments

Sharkitaxrscary 12

Saturday 17 November 2012 2:05

"Use the loo" had to be my favourite part of this.

IPoopedOnU 12

Saturday 17 November 2012 2:44

So you went in a bush? (OP's username)

crap1crap2crap3 7

Sunday 18 November 2012 4:35

At least you know that they're still madly in love. It's nice to know that there are still steady marriages in this world today.

TcheQ 12

Monday 19 November 2012 9:12

outside? what's wrong with inside???

Havin 19

Tuesday 20 November 2012 4:53

Your parents sound like they have an awesome sex life!

raykyogrou0 4

Tuesday 20 November 2012 6:23

Pee in the sink

awkwardpenguin1 3

Saturday 1 December 2012 19:53

I would sneak out and go to the neighbours if they are there if not.... Go to the bushes

MRZ187 4

Thursday 17 January 2013 12:09

Lol I'd bust in like Good Morning (afternoon, evening) as loud as possible lol :}

Asia_Breezy 9

Friday 8 March 2013 9:18

Pee in the bush or in another bathroom

BeautyBaby099 18

Monday 16 September 2013 6:06

Don't you have another bathroom?

Keywords

Miscellaneous Weird Shopping My ex Awkward Family Relatable Racism Love AITA Kids Cheating Work Break-ups Animals Cute Cats Sex Intimacy Relationship advice Coworkers Alcohol Psychology Health Mental health Neighbours Cops Parents Scary Stressed out

The Top

Today, I rang British Gas to cancel my boiler cover, as I'm totally and utterly skint. I told her the reason was I was getting divorced, moving house, losing my job, and had no income at all. She was very sympathetic, and said, "How would you like to pay your £37 cancellation fee?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 864

You deserved it 4 027

Today, I discovered my girlfriend stealing from my bank account. She thought she was smart by disguising her transfers as 'GAS BILL' or 'NETFLIX BILL'. Um, Netflix doesn’t cost £100 a month, and BILL is spelt with two Ls, not three. Reported for fraud; got my money back; single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 73

The Top

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537 378

You deserved it 53 153

Today, I was at work when my mother texted me, "You take a nice picture." I replied, "What picture?" I then got a reply saying, "The one on your speeding ticket showing you going 73 in a 55 mph zone. You're even smiling." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 897

You deserved it 46 064

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 079

You deserved it 21 070

Today, I tried joining a Roblox game, only to discover I was banned. According to the game's creator, it was because I'd exploited on an alt. The alt was an account intentionally impersonating me in order to frame me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 93

Oof.

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 95

Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 061

You deserved it 33 972