Intimacy: Get it on

Get it on

By WentInABush - 15/11/2012 07:23 - United States - Portland

Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 471

You deserved it 3 244

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Same thing different taste

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 634

You deserved it 9 112

Lock your doors

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 00:14

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 422

You deserved it 739

Just a prank, bro

By sarah - 28/03/2021 20:00

Today, my parents wouldn't stop making fun of my shy bladder by camping out in front of the bathroom door while I’m trying to pee. As a result, I haven’t peed in 10 hours and my bladder is going to explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 153

Sprinkler

By shelly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 908

You deserved it 7 556

By obtuse_ballsack - 04/06/2012 20:37 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 703

You deserved it 2 757

By dammitall - 15/05/2009 18:49 - United States

Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 407

You deserved it 4 877

By Peepants - 03/03/2016 23:03 - United States - Huntsville

Today, I really had to pee during one of my college lectures. I finally worked up the nerve to leave the room while he was lecturing, and ran frantically to the bathroom. Once in there, the urge intensified to the point I couldn't hold it. I peed my pants while standing in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 053

You deserved it 4 716

Oh, hi Mark!

By Anonymous - 26/08/2012 05:46 - United States - Olympia

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 031

You deserved it 3 918

Peaky Bladders

By Anonymous - 16/06/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house, dying to pee during a thunderstorm. Ran to the bathroom, but it was occupied. A huge thunderclap scared me pretty bad. When the door finally opened, my girlfriend's mom walked out, laughing. I realized the thunder scared me into peeing my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 445

You deserved it 426

Night terrors

By Anonymous - 12/07/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at night to go to the toilet. My Dad was doing his thing with the toilet door wide open. I saw, screamed at the top of my lungs and peed my pants in horror. Now my throat hurts and I'm too embarrassed to look at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 366

You deserved it 535

illmatic2 16

Thursday 15 November 2012 16:24

I'd go piss outside or something.

DocBastard 38

Thursday 15 November 2012 16:25

And that's why it's great to be a man - The outside world is our urinal.

Comments

NigerianMedicine 11

Friday 16 November 2012 2:30

Outside. Or out the window. In the sink, if really necessary.

lininnes 6

Friday 16 November 2012 2:37

OP here is one of solutions: pretend to break some plates/cups accidentally. The noise would let her parents know that OP's still at home...

djsaxby 1

Friday 16 November 2012 2:55

Go outside and find a tree. Duhhh. Dumb ass

caity_pie 12

Friday 16 November 2012 12:28

Her name is 'WentInABush' so I'm pretty sure it's safe to assume that she did.

PoodleJuice 7

Friday 16 November 2012 3:14

While in the bush be wary of spiders that could be crushed between your buttcheeks.

glitterowl11 0

Friday 16 November 2012 4:03

awk sauce bro

neroid 4

Friday 16 November 2012 6:28

This is why you keep some empty water bottles around.

neroid 4

Friday 16 November 2012 6:30

oh yeah, and a funnel

jeansltp 7

Friday 16 November 2012 15:52

Go piss in their bed

oneshot101 0

Friday 16 November 2012 16:10

I love living in the country. I just piss off the porch, my wife has squatted in the yard as well. City people suck!!

fuckisright 5

Friday 16 November 2012 19:33

Pee outside? Or in the sink or something. It may be disgusting to do but holding your pee for that long is not good for your bladder.

Keywords

Weird Miscellaneous Awkward Shopping My ex Family Relatable Racism AITA Love Kids Cheating Work Break-ups Animals Cats Cute Intimacy Sex Relationship advice Alcohol Coworkers Health Psychology Mental health Cops Neighbours Scary Stressed out Parents

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 1 623

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I agree, your life sucks 41 963

You deserved it 12 660

The Top

Today, while applying deodorant, my mom came up behind me slapped the stick out of my hand, and confiscated it, saying, “No one needs deodorant when it’s this cold.” At work, I got so many complaints about my B.O that I was sent home to go take a shower. I shower every single day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 199

You deserved it 158

Today, after paying a job coach a load of money for his services, pretty much the only advice he gave me was "Send out more résumés." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 206

You deserved it 5 013

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I agree, your life sucks 8 847

You deserved it 81 089

Today, I was out walking downtown. A woman walking behind the thought that my pants were hanging too low. She came over to me and yanked my pants up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 2 497

Today, I finally slept with the man of my dreams. After he left for work, I found a six-inch skid mark smack dab in the middle of my sheets. Apparently, the man of my dreams doesn't believe in toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 107

You deserved it 3 220

Today, we are severely understaffed, and I'm very often the only person working my shift. There's a yuppie who comes in and complains when we have to pause service due to shift change. He does this every day, and I'd had enough, so I slid him an application ,and told him to fill it out, wait, or leave. I got written up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 118