Embarrassing, Phobias and Work: Get it off!

Get it off!

By chocofreak - 10/05/2009 10:23 - United States

Today, I work at a chocolate factory on the sanitation shift. I was under a machine cleaning and a spider fell on me. I started freaking out and a coworker thought I got caught in the moving parts and frantically pulled me out and alerted my boss. Turns out it was just a piece of caramel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 221

You deserved it 44 956

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/11/2018 12:00

Today, while I was fitting a new fuse box, a giant spider tried to eat my fingers. As I pulled away, I touched the exposed wires. I woke up flat on my back to the customer slapping my face, burnt fingers, and bruises everywhere. I had also peed and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 411

You deserved it 488

By buttercup92 - 31/05/2016 03:45 - United States - San Antonio

Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 945

You deserved it 1 160

The ruling class wins again

By jcrb - 03/09/2021 10:59

Today, someone had been stealing my brownie at work every day, so I sprinkled cocolax on one and waited to find out who the culprit was. Turns out it was my manager. Needless to say, I'm fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 169

Happy meal

By ollierocks96 - 17/12/2009 21:43 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 549

You deserved it 3 023

By mary - 21/02/2012 15:33 - Australia

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 851

You deserved it 9 137

By mcmanager - 11/08/2014 14:18 - United States - San Francisco

Today, at my job as a fast food manager, I saw one of my employees "trying to pick the bugs out" of our cookies. They were the raisins in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 769

You deserved it 3 609

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 150

By Heyme - 09/12/2008 13:50 - France

Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 377

You deserved it 6 723

By TexasGirl24 - 10/09/2016 12:51 - United States - Houston

Today, I was making a shake at work when the cup fell off the blender. I went to catch it, and instead caught the teeth of the still-spinning mixer. When my hand was still bleeding five minutes later, my supervisor told me to clock out until it stopped. I lost money for getting hurt on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 631

You deserved it 1 216

By conley19 - 15/09/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, at work a little girl wanted a slushie. Instead of pushing the tab in, she lifted it up and broke the machine, spilling slushie all over the floor. I was the only one working, so I had to clean it all up. I spent the rest of my shift covered in red slushie and smelling like cherry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 244

You deserved it 4 800

ilikesexyparties 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 16:12

aw, at least you have a sweet coworker

MmmHotWaffles 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 16:14

so..is the caramel alright?

Comments

lionlvr 9

Monday 12 September 2011 16:38

Was it at Hershey park? I was wondering cuz your thing says pennsylvania. Awkward? Yeah I thought so....

ThisRandomChild 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 7:00

Smooth move, Willies Wonka

HEYpumpkin83 0

Thursday 10 November 2011 23:27

mmm choclate factory...haha yahh ur pretty stupid though hahaha

whosurdaddy123 0

Tuesday 29 November 2011 12:10

Doo u have orange skin like caramel, coz then u could be an oompa loompa lol :)

newburton13 26

Tuesday 6 March 2012 2:08

You deserved it, but man, you have THE BEST job on the planet.

awebb21 7

Thursday 21 June 2012 5:43

Charlie and the chocolate factory

andro6657 10

Monday 3 March 2014 20:59

U work on candy machines? Lucky bastard

Tomgirl1219 8

Wednesday 2 July 2014 18:41

I really hope you dress up as someone from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory for Halloween.

madison123xx 15

Monday 27 April 2015 22:25

Is your boss willy wonker ?

Keywords

Work Mental health Relatable Students Kids Parenting Love Embarrassing Awkward Family Intimacy Wanker AITA First Dates Singing Animals Cats Public freakouts Weddings Bodyshaming Cops Cars Transportation Sex Sexism Health Growing old Periods Job interview Education

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 4

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 798

You deserved it 16 310

The Top

Today, I was in my backyard scolding my cat. I yelled, "If you can't learn to use the bathroom correctly then I am going to leave your stupid butt out here in the snow until you figure it out!!" Later, my neighbor left me a nasty note about child abuse - she thought I was scolding my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 083

You deserved it 12 222

Today, my "friends" who know very well that I am terrified of bees forced me to face my fears, despite my protesting. As my "friends" watched and laughed while I tried to keep calm, a wasp showed up and scared me half to death, thereby angering the other bees. My face looked like a giant raspberry after the fact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 117

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 814

You deserved it 10 477

Whee!

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 76

Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 558

You deserved it 44 220

Today, I was cuddling my girlfriend. The TV was on behind me, with some kind of girl's basketball game playing. When I stared into my girlfriend's eyes, she accused me of trying to check out the girls by looking at their reflection in her eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 476

You deserved it 3 445