Today, I work at a chocolate factory on the sanitation shift. I was under a machine cleaning and a spider fell on me. I started freaking out and a coworker thought I got caught in the moving parts and frantically pulled me out and alerted my boss. Turns out it was just a piece of caramel. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I walked into my boss’s office for a serious meeting. While I was talking, I felt something on my arm, looked down, and realized it was a giant spider crawling up my sleeve. I tried to casually shake it off without screaming, but I just ended up doing a bizarre, silent dance in front of my boss. FML
Today, while I was fitting a new fuse box, a giant spider tried to eat my fingers. As I pulled away, I touched the exposed wires. I woke up flat on my back to the customer slapping my face, burnt fingers, and bruises everywhere. I had also peed and shit myself. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, someone had been stealing my brownie at work every day, so I sprinkled cocolax on one and waited to find out who the culprit was. Turns out it was my manager. Needless to say, I'm fired. FML
Today, I was at a grocery store when I slipped on a puddle of water. I tried to catch my balance, grabbed a shelf, and instead took down an entire display of chocolate boxes. People rushed over to help, albeit while smirking, and a kid yelled, “Do it again!” FML
Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Today, at my job as a fast food manager, I saw one of my employees "trying to pick the bugs out" of our cookies. They were the raisins in them. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML
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Top comments
ilikesexyparties 0
aw, at least you have a sweet coworker
MmmHotWaffles 0
so..is the caramel alright?
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Comments (87)
ThisRandomChild 0
Smooth move, Willies Wonka
HEYpumpkin83 0
mmm choclate factory...haha yahh ur pretty stupid though hahaha
whosurdaddy123 0
Doo u have orange skin like caramel, coz then u could be an oompa loompa lol :)
newburton13 26
You deserved it, but man, you have THE BEST job on the planet.
awebb21 7
Charlie and the chocolate factory
andro6657 10
U work on candy machines? Lucky bastard
Tomgirl1219 8
I really hope you dress up as someone from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory for Halloween.
madison123xx 15
Is your boss willy wonker ?