Today, I bought an electric toothbrush because they're supposed to be a lot healthier than regular ones. My crazy religious mom immediately called me a whore and said she knew what I really wanted to use it for. So that's $80 in the trash. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I caught my mom using my toothbrush and washcloth again, despite her having both her own bathroom and supplies. I asked her to please not use mine, to which she called me an ungrateful bitch. My dad agreed. Yet they wonder why I've been desperately saving money to move out. FML
Today, my mother flipped out that I spent $20 on a gift for myself for my birthday. Instead of getting a gift for me, she spent $300 on a new vacuum cleaner, and claims that we didn't have enough left in our budget to spend on me. FML
Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML
Today, I’ve always tried to be understanding that my girlfriend grew up very poor and is therefore extremely frugal. However, I finally had to draw the line when she flipped out on me for throwing out her respooled used dental floss and buying another. It was 98 cents for a new one. FML
Today, as I was brushing my teeth, I heard my mum praying to God to help her "get rid of such a stupid child". I have no idea what I've done wrong, and she's refused to talk to me all day. FML
Today, I had a dentist appointment after class so I threw my electric toothbrush in my backpack so I could brush my teeth before. In the middle of class the toothbrush turns on and the vibrations could be heard throughout the classroom. They yelled at me "Jess has a vibrator!" FML
Today, I walked in on my mother-in-law teaching my 11 year-old daughter how to purge herself using a toothbrush. Her logic is that, “If she gets fat, she’ll never get a boyfriend.” She sees nothing wrong, and bitched at me for messing with her future. FML
Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We've had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML
Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML
Today, after a fight, I caught my sister rubbing my toothbrush on the inside of our grimy toilet. This is why I have trust issues. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
How dare you clean your teeth using devil magic! Batteries are formed using the spit of Satan. You'd better start praying for salvation right now.
ToTheThighs 6
I'm sorry op. I love my electric toothbrush, it's great for my teeth
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Comments (136)
HeWillBeLoved105 22
Who the **** pays 80 dollars for a tooth brush? Also, if your mom is that crazy, why would you ever let her see it? You kind of deserve it.
Jinxsie 27
No child deserves this.
TallMist 32
No. She does not deserve to be called a ***** (By her own MOM, btw, which is just wrong) and lose out on $80 for buying an expensive toothbrush.
utlanning 9
You should buy a vibrator and say you're going to brush your teeth with it.
chikinscratch00 8
#hitachiforthemouth
GunSlinger69 19
Since when is religion against masturbation? I thought it was just pre-marriage sex?
Morning_fml 22
Religion has always been against masturbation because it basically destroys the whole point of procreation, and masturbation is generally classified as being lustful and having immoral desires.
saffy66 34
She's giving herself away there - why would she think that of you unless she's done it herself? I hate it when people push their own hang ups onto their kids.
Ray_of_midnight 23
"Wanted"? More like *had*. There's a reason she knows, and suspects, this. Takes one to know one.
sparkledoge 29
For a religious woman she has a some suspicious ideas...
gobiteme2 34
You should really freak you’re mom out and told her it was for “Anal”. Next time she will keep her thought to herself.
laden_swallow09 35
Or mummie dearest will just slap her and send her off to a convent. There's no reasoning with crazy.
brendejafulable 41
Tell her to back off.
siggy_mcsigx 22
It makes me so angry when parents force SHAME on their children's sexuality just URGHHHH. I am so dearly thankful my parents are open minded (just don't care).