Today, I bought an electric toothbrush because they're supposed to be a lot healthier than regular ones. My crazy religious mom immediately called me a whore and said she knew what I really wanted to use it for. So that's $80 in the trash. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I caught my mom using my toothbrush and washcloth again, despite her having both her own bathroom and supplies. I asked her to please not use mine, to which she called me an ungrateful bitch. My dad agreed. Yet they wonder why I've been desperately saving money to move out. FML
Today, my mother flipped out that I spent $20 on a gift for myself for my birthday. Instead of getting a gift for me, she spent $300 on a new vacuum cleaner, and claims that we didn't have enough left in our budget to spend on me. FML
Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML
Today, I’ve always tried to be understanding that my girlfriend grew up very poor and is therefore extremely frugal. However, I finally had to draw the line when she flipped out on me for throwing out her respooled used dental floss and buying another. It was 98 cents for a new one. FML
Today, as I was brushing my teeth, I heard my mum praying to God to help her "get rid of such a stupid child". I have no idea what I've done wrong, and she's refused to talk to me all day. FML
Today, I had a dentist appointment after class so I threw my electric toothbrush in my backpack so I could brush my teeth before. In the middle of class the toothbrush turns on and the vibrations could be heard throughout the classroom. They yelled at me "Jess has a vibrator!" FML
Today, I walked in on my mother-in-law teaching my 11 year-old daughter how to purge herself using a toothbrush. Her logic is that, “If she gets fat, she’ll never get a boyfriend.” She sees nothing wrong, and bitched at me for messing with her future. FML
Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We've had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML
Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML
Today, after a fight, I caught my sister rubbing my toothbrush on the inside of our grimy toilet. This is why I have trust issues. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
How dare you clean your teeth using devil magic! Batteries are formed using the spit of Satan. You'd better start praying for salvation right now.
ToTheThighs 6
I'm sorry op. I love my electric toothbrush, it's great for my teeth
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Comments (136)
sstahpp 33
BOO YOU *****!
Scorpio1691 29
I think your mother has watched Big Bang Theory too much to make that assumption.
Songstress 3
Why is it always the religious crazies that are the most obsessed with sex? Seriously, they see sex in everything. I know a woman like that, she claims to hate even the idea of sex but she has 7 kids. She goes full-on Carrie mode as well, only sinful girls grow big breasts, pretty much called me a ***** lol Needless to say her kids have no contact with anyone but family.
DaBayst 15
I hate religious fanatics.
exoticwaved 9
Mom is a little too creative...
Laurieannuk 6
Your name isn't Carrie, is it...?
Laurieannuk 6
Your name isn't Carrie by any chance...?
sexymomo1234 20
You were probably better off spending $80 on a vibrator! That way you getting that reaction will be valid.
burnthistown 20
Why would you pay $80 for a toothbrush if that was your intention anyway? You can get vibes for less than $10. There's no logic in that.
confushon 12
Your mother is a closet masturbator. I bet 5 dollars.