Today, I bought an electric toothbrush because they're supposed to be a lot healthier than regular ones. My crazy religious mom immediately called me a whore and said she knew what I really wanted to use it for. So that's $80 in the trash. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I caught my mom using my toothbrush and washcloth again, despite her having both her own bathroom and supplies. I asked her to please not use mine, to which she called me an ungrateful bitch. My dad agreed. Yet they wonder why I've been desperately saving money to move out. FML
Today, my mother flipped out that I spent $20 on a gift for myself for my birthday. Instead of getting a gift for me, she spent $300 on a new vacuum cleaner, and claims that we didn't have enough left in our budget to spend on me. FML
Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML
Today, I’ve always tried to be understanding that my girlfriend grew up very poor and is therefore extremely frugal. However, I finally had to draw the line when she flipped out on me for throwing out her respooled used dental floss and buying another. It was 98 cents for a new one. FML
Today, as I was brushing my teeth, I heard my mum praying to God to help her "get rid of such a stupid child". I have no idea what I've done wrong, and she's refused to talk to me all day. FML
Today, I had a dentist appointment after class so I threw my electric toothbrush in my backpack so I could brush my teeth before. In the middle of class the toothbrush turns on and the vibrations could be heard throughout the classroom. They yelled at me "Jess has a vibrator!" FML
Today, I walked in on my mother-in-law teaching my 11 year-old daughter how to purge herself using a toothbrush. Her logic is that, “If she gets fat, she’ll never get a boyfriend.” She sees nothing wrong, and bitched at me for messing with her future. FML
Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We've had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML
Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML
Today, after a fight, I caught my sister rubbing my toothbrush on the inside of our grimy toilet. This is why I have trust issues. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
How dare you clean your teeth using devil magic! Batteries are formed using the spit of Satan. You'd better start praying for salvation right now.
ToTheThighs 6
I'm sorry op. I love my electric toothbrush, it's great for my teeth
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Comments (136)
bab3ruthl3ss 16
Utter, epic fail at whatever joke you were trying to make.
StickyPickles 33
It's your toothbrush use it and piss on what she say
outtamyway 5
get a new mum instead.
Ashwathi 21
Electric toothbrushes are the bomb. Too bad you can't use it OP.
Labarynth 2
I would have asked what she means? to which I would say that use never crossed your mind and that she's a ***** for even thinking it.
chosha_fml 27
If that's what you wanted it for, I'm sure you would have spent the money on something that would do a better job of it.
speedyshoe 1
Your mom's crazy and needs to be slapped.
RebeccaRFT 18
What's worse than having a crazy religious mother is have a crazy hypocritical religious mother. She called you a *****? Doesn't sound very religious.
KhaleesiDannie 26
Like most Christians I supposed she missed that while "Judge not lest you be judged" part of the bible shameful she would treat you like that
mrproboss 7
Plot twist. Mom takes it out of the trash and starts using it