Today, I bought an electric toothbrush because they're supposed to be a lot healthier than regular ones. My crazy religious mom immediately called me a whore and said she knew what I really wanted to use it for. So that's $80 in the trash. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I caught my mom using my toothbrush and washcloth again, despite her having both her own bathroom and supplies. I asked her to please not use mine, to which she called me an ungrateful bitch. My dad agreed. Yet they wonder why I've been desperately saving money to move out. FML
Today, my mother flipped out that I spent $20 on a gift for myself for my birthday. Instead of getting a gift for me, she spent $300 on a new vacuum cleaner, and claims that we didn't have enough left in our budget to spend on me. FML
Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML
Today, I’ve always tried to be understanding that my girlfriend grew up very poor and is therefore extremely frugal. However, I finally had to draw the line when she flipped out on me for throwing out her respooled used dental floss and buying another. It was 98 cents for a new one. FML
Today, as I was brushing my teeth, I heard my mum praying to God to help her "get rid of such a stupid child". I have no idea what I've done wrong, and she's refused to talk to me all day. FML
Today, I had a dentist appointment after class so I threw my electric toothbrush in my backpack so I could brush my teeth before. In the middle of class the toothbrush turns on and the vibrations could be heard throughout the classroom. They yelled at me "Jess has a vibrator!" FML
Today, I walked in on my mother-in-law teaching my 11 year-old daughter how to purge herself using a toothbrush. Her logic is that, “If she gets fat, she’ll never get a boyfriend.” She sees nothing wrong, and bitched at me for messing with her future. FML
Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We've had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML
Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML
Today, after a fight, I caught my sister rubbing my toothbrush on the inside of our grimy toilet. This is why I have trust issues. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
How dare you clean your teeth using devil magic! Batteries are formed using the spit of Satan. You'd better start praying for salvation right now.
ToTheThighs 6
I'm sorry op. I love my electric toothbrush, it's great for my teeth
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Comments (136)
stupidface15 16
who spends 80$ on a toothbrush??? i just swallow the toothpaste
photographer49 22
#15 Not only is it gross that you swallow your dirty toothpaste, but that's bad for you. You should really stop doing that.
tantanpanda 26
Stop lying, Pinocchio!
stupidface15 16
#60- actually it's delicious
photographer49 22
#73 swallowing all that bacteria that's been sitting in your mouth all day is delicious?
doodlecloud 27
That's gross...I do agree that electric toothbrushes are overrated though. I use a regular old non-electric toothbrush and always get a good review at the dentist. There's even an advert for electric ones on tv atm that claims to get rid of more plaque but the diagram clearly shows the electric one cleaning around the tooth and the manual just going back and forth on top. So yeah if you do that you'll be worse off but if you actually clean your teeth properly you should be fine with a manual.
Wolfparable 22
To be honest that sounds a bit abusive of your mother. No parent should say that to their child.
mistress_paz 30
Should have bought a less expensive disposable toothbrush.
184886837272837 32
I'd say your mom probably hasn't been laid in a while.
iwadasn 33
You can get electric toothbrushes for WAY less than $80.
vikky538 29
The question is how does OP's mom know...
EvilLittleMan 23
I wouldn't be surprised if OP's mother has a super charged, turbo speed, King Kong sized ***** tucked away in her secret sexual and sinful stash.
kirbs19 37
If OP read this comment they will be scared for life...
sstahpp 33
A king kong sized *****?!?!? WHERE CAN I BUY ONE?
countrygirl71 18
Seriously, if your mom thought it, then moms guilty.
sunnyray812 42
A mother calling her own daughter a "*****" and freaking out over a damn toothbrush sounds abusive to me. I'd seriously seek some family counseling. That's unhealthy for you!
Lars93 18
that's religions way of raising kids
sunnyray812 42
It causes so many problems for the child.
xleanne_aLly 23
I come from a Christian family. My mom's a Sunday school teacher, my dad plays drums in the worship band. We aren't all racist, idiotic, jerks. My dad and I will pass joints on the way home from church. One time after church, we stopped at the bong store. Each of us picked out new pieces. They didn't let me drink till I was of age. I still can't bring boys home. But what kind of dad would let their child do thay anyways? My mom took me to get birth control. I know tons of Christians that are a lot more laid back; than some of the non religious people I know. Don't judge all of us based off of one jerk.
sunnyray812 42
I don't judge all Christians to be mean ass wipes. I know many who respect others along with their family. Unless you are speaking to the person previously replying to me, I meant that treating one's own child like that is abusive and will (if haven't already) cause major problems for the kid.
xleanne_aLly 23
No I completely agree with you #56. My comment was meant for #30. It bugs me when I see people stereotype others.
sunnyray812 42
I don't like that either.
thefallen12 13
I just can't be gay though.
BobRyder 24
Why on earth would she assume that? I'm sure you can get better vibrators for a lot cheaper than $80.