By Anonymous - 6/4/2020 20:00 - Australia Itchy and Scratchy Today, I put a collar on my dog to get rid of his fleas. Good news? He doesn't have fleas anymore. Bad news? They've moved onto the rest of my family. FML I agree, your life sucks 1460 You deserved it 265 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Quincy_Ethan - 29/8/2014 21:22 - United States - Killeen Today, my little sister was using my phone to play games. About an hour later, she came to me and said my phone wouldn't work. Turns out my phone had gotten hot and she put it in water to cool it down. FML I agree, your life sucks 43094 You deserved it 5314 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Brittany - 18/6/2012 14:57 - United States Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML I agree, your life sucks 12867 You deserved it 37895 169 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/12/2011 05:14 - United States Today, I noticed my 5-gallon glass vase/aquarium was leaking at the base. When I went to move the vase so I could transfer everything to a new aquarium, the bottom completely detached, sending water, sand, sea shells and fish crap everywhere. FML I agree, your life sucks 27095 You deserved it 5555 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LCDhell - 14/11/2011 05:44 - United States Today, my husband bought a new 80-inch TV. Not only can we barely afford it, but it also blocks our doorways no matter where we put it. He refuses to return it. FML I agree, your life sucks 32219 You deserved it 4005 193 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By spaaaarta - 25/7/2016 20:17 Today, I was washing my car, I decided to be kind and to wash my elderly neighbor's car. As it turns out, her sunroof was open. FML I agree, your life sucks 8651 You deserved it 12372 37 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 29/11/2011 18:40 - United States Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML I agree, your life sucks 48580 You deserved it 5508 259 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tejanoswhy - 18/12/2015 18:16 Today, I found out why my history grade is so low: the kid in front of me takes my homework, writes his name on it, and passes it off as his own. FML I agree, your life sucks 24639 You deserved it 1791 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Chakkamofo - 1/2/2009 22:47 - United States Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card saying "You made it to 36!". It's my 35th birthday. FML I agree, your life sucks 31906 You deserved it 2433 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/6/2014 15:36 - Afghanistan - Kabul Today, thinking we'd still be able to finish our project in time for tomorrow's deadline, my work group put off doing any work until today. When we logged into the website we have to use, we found it was down for maintenance all day. FML I agree, your life sucks 23700 You deserved it 48309 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 3/6/2014 09:46 - United Kingdom - Preston Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my tits. He ignored it and instead sent a picture of his dog "looking blazed". FML I agree, your life sucks 49092 You deserved it 17628 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By what... - 15/9/2013 18:47 - United States - North Port Today, my boss took me to one side and said, "Cross me like that ever again, and you're fired." I have no clue what he was talking about, and he denies ever having said a word to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 41513 You deserved it 2794 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/3/2014 22:05 - United States - Littleton Today, after leaving my workplace, I realized that I forgot some important work papers. When I went back to get them, I was faced with the sight of my boss and a coworker getting it on against my desk. FML I agree, your life sucks 56394 You deserved it 5167 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 12/10/2010 05:04 - United States Today, I finally got the courage to tell the guy I liked how I felt by making him a mixed CD. Confident, I gave it to him. After class, I went to the trash can to throw some paper away. I saw my mixed CD in the trash. FML I agree, your life sucks 36104 You deserved it 8156 151 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gedderdunn - 24/5/2010 06:13 - Reserved Today, I went on a first date, where my date managed to fall in a creek, take me to his house and measure my height, show me family pictures, and perform the Soulja Boy dance in his living room. All while wearing swim trunks because his pants were drying and he didn't have extras. FML I agree, your life sucks 37036 You deserved it 7736 263 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By midwify - 5/1/2015 17:58 - Denmark - Asaa Today, I gave birth to our first child at home. What was supposed to be a beautiful moment of us peacefully greeting our newborn, ended up with the cops knocking on our door. Apparently me giving birth sounds like a domestic dispute. FML I agree, your life sucks 35172 You deserved it 7576 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bestbirthday - 12/7/2016 01:04 - United States - Bastrop Today, my parents were supposed to take me out to eat for my birthday, but since their favorite child wasn't with us, I instead got a mini order of tots from Sonic as my birthday meal/present. FML I agree, your life sucks 15055 You deserved it 833 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ozzii - 4/9/2019 22:00 Crushed Today, my friend pointed out that I’ve developed crushes on my last two bosses. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that before then, I had a secret crush on a professor back in college, too. Yet, I wonder why I’m single. FML I agree, your life sucks 1188 You deserved it 504 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Christopher Tobler - 26/4/2019 20:00 - United States - New York Today, I found out that my mom paints, and that I was artistically represented in a painting, as Satan, in a painting made shortly after I told her that I was an atheist. FML I agree, your life sucks 1967 You deserved it 426 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/3/2020 21:10 The Good Grandson Today, I had to drive all the way across town to clean my grandfather's toilet for him. FML I agree, your life sucks 1249 You deserved it 179 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sunburychick - 13/9/2009 09:27 - Australia Today, I realised that the man who I wanted to be with, the man who wanted to be with me, and my husband were three different people. FML I agree, your life sucks 46739 You deserved it 26045 231 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By evilplatypus - 11/2/2019 14:00 - United States - Cromwell Today, after talking to my psychiatrist about a delusion I have - that I know is a delusion but simply can’t shake - he started frowning and pulled out the DSM-V. After thumbing through it for a while he looks at me and says, “That’s not in here.” FML I agree, your life sucks 2080 You deserved it 168 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By smallfrie32 - 23/11/2010 05:22 Today, I realized that 95% of my facebook friends added me only because they think my sisters are hot. FML I agree, your life sucks 34071 You deserved it 4516 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thissinglelife - 6/9/2013 06:42 - United States - Alhambra Today, I had my first date in almost four years. Twenty minutes into our dinner date, I excused myself to use the ladies room. When I came back, not only was he gone, but there was also a security guard waiting to walk me out. I still have no clue why he left or why I got kicked out. FML I agree, your life sucks 50171 You deserved it 3064 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 31/5/2009 03:34 - United States Today, I met this really nice guy at the mall and he gave me his number. Later that night, I texted him. We got on the subject of food, and I started talking about how much I love veal. He responded with saying I was supporting animal murder, that I should go to hell and lose his number. FML I agree, your life sucks 46969 You deserved it 20578 409 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 26/3/2009 12:15 - United States Today, I found out that driving five miles an hour under the posted speed limit is "suspicious" and cause for a field sobriety test, breathalyzer, having your car searched and being handcuffed on the side of the road. FML I agree, your life sucks 80915 You deserved it 12550 180 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kammy - 1/3/2009 23:38 - United States Today, my boyfriend and his family had invited me to go on a Tropical family trip with them. When we got to the airport, security stopped me and opened my carry-on bag. I'd forgotten about the no-liquids rule. They took out a bottle of Massage Oil, Lube, Vagasil and Nair. His whole family saw. FML I agree, your life sucks 27749 You deserved it 70164 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Pregnant - 14/4/2011 18:28 - United States Today, I confronted my husband about him being unfaithful. He said his reasons were because he's just not attracted to me anymore and my current weight repulses him. I'm six months pregnant with his child. FML I agree, your life sucks 63955 You deserved it 4505 317 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LacrosseFAIL - 16/7/2016 22:33 - United States - Schaumburg Today, after a long day at work, I walked into my room with the lights off and jumped on my bed. At least I would've if I haven't rearranged my room and instead face-planted onto my desk. FML I agree, your life sucks 10964 You deserved it 4704 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By motherfucked - 15/1/2016 17:07 - United States - Baltimore Today, I tried to send my friend a link to a really weird porno. Unfortunately, Google Hangouts popped up with a message from my mom. I didn't realize the keyboard focus had switched until I hit Ctrl+V and Enter real quick. Now I'm grounded. FML I agree, your life sucks 10671 You deserved it 21041 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wishbone - 14/4/2009 20:41 - Canada Today, a cute boy told me I looked like a celebrity. Flattered, I asked who I resembled. He responded by saying that I looked exactly like Ugly Betty. He was serious. FML I agree, your life sucks 60562 You deserved it 5624 152 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notsosmart - 6/3/2011 11:28 - Australia Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML I agree, your life sucks 37167 You deserved it 4481 152 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RB84 - 22/4/2017 02:00 Today I got a call from my daughter's school, because she claimed that she couldn't see out of her right eye. I panicked and went to pick her up. On the way to the emergency room, she turns to me and says, "I'm fine. I didn't want to take a test." FML I agree, your life sucks 5592 You deserved it 604 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By me - 5/1/2010 16:22 - United States Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML I agree, your life sucks 25236 You deserved it 3710 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By floff - 19/9/2017 04:30 Today, I broke a toe. It was not too bad and I can still walk, but the doctors had to tape it to the next toe to help it heal. Turns out I am allergic to the glue on the tape. The pain of the blisters covering two toes and the itch is worst than the break. FML I agree, your life sucks 3415 You deserved it 209 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By geoduck - 10/2/2011 05:31 - United States Today, to prevent a fistfight at work, I had to mediate a contested debate between two coworkers on what was evidently a very touchy subject: Which is better, the orange creamsicle or the ice cream sandwich? I was the only one to get in trouble for wasting company time. FML I agree, your life sucks 28605 You deserved it 4635 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By poopshooter101 - 30/6/2009 11:53 - United States Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML I agree, your life sucks 62608 You deserved it 9261 159 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 30/1/2010 07:04 - United States Today, I was driving home and stopped at a light. A cute guy in the truck ahead of me waved me forward and told me to roll down my window. It was the first time a cute guy had talked to me in a while so I was pretty excited. He told me to turn my lights on. FML I agree, your life sucks 23206 You deserved it 10136 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Rage - 8/10/2009 17:31 - United States Today, while working on my girlfriend of three years' computer I found a file called 'My future wedding'. I assumed it was very old and decided to look through it. Of the list of 5 potential grooms I was not one of them. This didn't bother me until I saw that it had last been edited two days ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 43798 You deserved it 4452 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Js2cool - 29/9/2015 02:32 - United States - Fitchburg Today, I went to clean my cat's litter box, not realizing she was in it. As I lifted the top half of the litter box up, she sprayed me with piss. FML I agree, your life sucks 21985 You deserved it 7071 47 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Passtheicecream - 25/1/2017 22:00 Today, I found out that the last of my super feminist "I'm never getting tied to a man" college friends got engaged. Apparently, I should have tried that tactic, as my current partner in life is my goldfish. FML I agree, your life sucks 2360 You deserved it 578 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RichardPencil | 28 #7895510 - Monday 6 April 2020 20:40 Put flea collars on your family. Problem solved...what's for lunch? Send a private message 6 2 Reply
By RichardPencil | 28 #7895510 - Monday 6 April 2020 20:40 Put flea collars on your family. Problem solved...what's for lunch? Send a private message 6 2 Reply
Today, I told my mom that I walked in on my sister and her boyfriend having sex. My mom flew into a rage and slapped me several times, calling me a liar... I agree, your life sucks 673 You deserved it 386 13 Comments
Today, I told my husband that it makes me feel unattractive and undesirable that I’m the only one to ever initiate intimacy. Not just sex, but also basic... I agree, your life sucks 1212 You deserved it 121 9 Comments
Problem solved...what's for lunch?