By Anonymous - 6/4/2020 20:00 - Australia Itchy and Scratchy Today, I put a collar on my dog to get rid of his fleas. Good news? He doesn't have fleas anymore. Bad news? They've moved onto the rest of my family. FML I agree, your life sucks 1445 You deserved it 264 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 18/1/2020 18:00 Strange flight Today, I was on my way home on an airplane. The guy I had to sit next to was reading a book with naked girls in it. About 15 minutes into the flight, he had an erection and started to giggle. It was a 2 hour flight. FML I agree, your life sucks 2813 You deserved it 220 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By oops - 11/5/2015 16:40 - United States - Lutherville Timonium Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML I agree, your life sucks 29386 You deserved it 9776 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Whoops - 20/10/2011 04:36 - United States Today, at my job in a nursing home, the State Department of Health inspected us, during which a dementia patient repeatedly screamed that I always hurt her. This was the first time that I'd ever seen her. FML I agree, your life sucks 31710 You deserved it 1975 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By samgonzalessb - 14/12/2009 17:00 - United States Today, my boyfriend bought me a voice personalized build-a-bear. I thought he was going to propose to me through it, only to press the foot of the bear and hear "we should break up" instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 41210 You deserved it 3805 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bummer - 30/10/2009 02:00 - United States Today, I found my checking and savings account to both read $0.00. My parents transferred all my money to theirs because "I'm irresponsible, and not fit to handle money." I'm a 3.8 college student and have a full-time job. They are currently unemployed. FML I agree, your life sucks 44687 You deserved it 3848 217 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thanksdad - 3/7/2012 01:20 - United States - Beaverton Today, my dad was helping my fiancé and me move. On the way, someone sideswiped the trailer. When the police came, we found my dad had a suspended license, no insurance, and a broken tail light. No one else could drive a manual, so we were stuck in a parking lot for 3 hours. Thanks, dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 21771 You deserved it 5662 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/3/2020 09:00 Liar ! Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML I agree, your life sucks 447 You deserved it 1146 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/9/2019 12:04 This ain't gonna end well Today, my partner of 5 years and I sat down to talk because I expressed hope for a proposal in near future. He instead believed that we should wait, and talk about a potential future for us in another two years. FML I agree, your life sucks 1436 You deserved it 238 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By honeybee2487 - 30/8/2011 17:35 - United States Today, at work, I heard a weird sound coming from the ceiling. As I looked up to see what it was, a huge splash of water hit me in the face. I called mall maintenance to let them know. They told me they already knew about the leak... from the sewage line. FML I agree, your life sucks 31791 You deserved it 2279 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ANON - 13/8/2013 23:53 - United States - Sacramento Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML I agree, your life sucks 53870 You deserved it 19059 180 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dicedicebaby - 23/3/2015 00:20 - United States - Columbus Today, I had my 18th birthday party. At midnight, three police officers showed up at my door and asked if they could look around. Were we doing anything bad? Nope. My friends suck at parking. Before they left, the officers said that this was the most toned down party they'd seen in years. FML I agree, your life sucks 30553 You deserved it 3397 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wherermypants - 2/8/2012 05:10 - United States - Austin Today, I discovered that when I'm drunk, I hate wearing clothes. And it doesn't matter who is around to see it, not even my soon-to-be father-in-law. FML I agree, your life sucks 8391 You deserved it 28208 105 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Derp McShitstain - 16/9/2012 19:48 - United Kingdom - Saint Helens Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 28589 You deserved it 2747 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fatass - 19/2/2009 07:36 - United States Today, I had a great workout and was feeling really good about my body. Until I sat on my desk, and broke it. FML I agree, your life sucks 39839 You deserved it 7486 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By manicmandy - 1/8/2010 20:24 - United States Today, I learned that ice cubes do not cool down hot oil. Instead, it causes a massive explosion of hot grease to splatter all over my parents' kitchen. FML I agree, your life sucks 10468 You deserved it 78286 362 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 17/2/2015 19:17 - United States Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML I agree, your life sucks 46188 You deserved it 4062 134 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By k - 16/2/2009 17:08 - United States Today, my ex-boyfriend came over. After I finished pouring my heart out to him about how much I missed him, and how much I loved him, he looks at me and asks "So are we gonna do it, or what?" FML I agree, your life sucks 45143 You deserved it 11497 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 11/4/2013 15:42 - United States Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML I agree, your life sucks 56556 You deserved it 11835 245 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/8/2018 20:30 Today, I was diagnosed with a tumor and had to cancel on the holidays with my crush of 4 years. He is taking another girl with him instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 3320 You deserved it 171 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mmvv - 8/2/2010 05:41 - United States Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend occasionally wets the bed. He's 25 and we're moving in together next month. FML I agree, your life sucks 29303 You deserved it 3821 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 31/8/2011 14:23 - United Kingdom Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML I agree, your life sucks 31576 You deserved it 11175 253 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By box bulge - 21/10/2011 01:24 - China Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML I agree, your life sucks 36892 You deserved it 9914 316 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TCRII - 13/6/2018 15:52 Today, my estranged wife, who I am divorcing, asked me to find homes for our animals. I have a dog, which I am keeping. She has 3 dogs, 4 cats, 1 pig, 3 goats, 2 horses and 54 chickens. FML I agree, your life sucks 3355 You deserved it 367 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sickyandiknowit - 8/11/2014 07:36 - United States - Eugene Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML I agree, your life sucks 34989 You deserved it 4821 47 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By help - 9/7/2013 20:57 - United Kingdom - London Today, I was reading a newspaper at a bus stop when a creepy guy rested his chin on my shoulder and said, "I miss the good old days, when people would read newspapers together and it wasn't classed as weird." Then he walked away. FML I agree, your life sucks 43479 You deserved it 3770 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By why - 28/7/2014 01:55 - United States Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML I agree, your life sucks 57305 You deserved it 5472 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By 1234 - 11/7/2009 16:41 - Canada Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one ripe. My husband yelled "she likes to eat beans." FML I agree, your life sucks 61270 You deserved it 10328 142 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bennyp77 - 31/8/2010 05:15 - United States Today, I was at a tennis match and it was really hot. I took off my shirt to cool down. A member of the staff then tapped me on the shoulder and told me that my "bare breasts might offend someone." I'm a man. FML I agree, your life sucks 28877 You deserved it 15622 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lexi - 20/11/2010 19:07 - Canada Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML I agree, your life sucks 28301 You deserved it 7219 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DoubledTrouble - 21/7/2016 11:58 - United States - Washington Today, my kids overheard me talking about cleaning the fuel system in our RV before we go to Disney World. They were so eager to get there, they decided they'd clean the fuel system themselves while I was at work, namely by pouring Tide into the gas tank. FML I agree, your life sucks 15051 You deserved it 1225 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/9/2019 06:01 - United Kingdom - London Damian? Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML I agree, your life sucks 1090 You deserved it 95 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pritch44 - 17/6/2010 16:12 - United States Today, I found out that we have six skunks under my shed. While I was mowing the lawn, they all came out and sprayed me. FML I agree, your life sucks 40414 You deserved it 4025 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Socklessandsmelly - 26/5/2009 06:10 - United States Today, after 7 hours on my feet at work, my boyfriend picked me up. Relieved, I took off my shoes. Suddenly, he looked up and sniffed asking,"are those your feet?" I had forgotten to put on socks in my rush to work. He made me put my shoes back on and sit in the back, windows open. FML I agree, your life sucks 19707 You deserved it 46999 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By neverdatingacopagain - 25/4/2011 04:24 - United States Today, I woke up to find a parking ticket on my car. My car was in my driveway and the cop who wrote it is my ex-boyfriend. This is the third time. FML I agree, your life sucks 47805 You deserved it 6690 335 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 21/6/2013 20:38 - Netherlands - Mierlo Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML I agree, your life sucks 45032 You deserved it 3221 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TheHam - 5/9/2019 18:00 - Sweden Restrictions Today, the school called my dad telling him they want to put me on a diet, because they're worried about my weight. FML I agree, your life sucks 1311 You deserved it 567 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ZiggyTink - 9/7/2015 03:24 - United States - North Branch Today, my boyfriend's brother and fiancé decided to preach to me about how I need to read the Bible because I'm agnostic. I'd be fine if it wasn't coming from two 19-year-olds who dated for 5 months, got pregnant, got engaged, lost the baby, and still wanna get married, "so they don't look bad." FML I agree, your life sucks 27376 You deserved it 2358 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thatisfuckedup - 13/6/2013 22:12 - United Kingdom Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML I agree, your life sucks 56287 You deserved it 3859 221 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kasey Eames - 23/12/2012 06:19 - United States - Oceanside Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML I agree, your life sucks 40696 You deserved it 8347 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By movingbuddy - 8/1/2013 13:31 - Australia - Sydney Today, my boyfriend of a year asked me to move in with him. I would have been touched at this gesture, had he not asked in the form of a text message, saying: "Got kicked out. Wanna get a flat or something?" FML I agree, your life sucks 33885 You deserved it 3940 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RichardPencil | 28 #7895510 - Monday 6 April 2020 20:40 Put flea collars on your family. Problem solved...what's for lunch? Send a private message 6 2 Reply
By RichardPencil | 28 #7895510 - Monday 6 April 2020 20:40 Put flea collars on your family. Problem solved...what's for lunch? Send a private message 6 2 Reply
Today, I had too much to eat at dinner. I had to cut sexy time with my husband short because I couldn't do it. I feel bad because it's his birthday today... I agree, your life sucks 801 You deserved it 324 4 Comments
Today, while I was working in a department store, two 15-year-old kids started having sex in a changing room. When I found them, the boy pulled out and... I agree, your life sucks 1324 You deserved it 87 2 Comments
Problem solved...what's for lunch?