Today, a customer started a conversation by telling me how smart he'd heard I am, and finished it by explaining his theory that only smart people commit suicide. He then gave me a knowing look and said, "Just something I thought you should think about," and left without buying anything. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, a customer came into the store I work at to ask why I hadn't killed myself yet. A month prior, that same customer told me to kill myself. All I did was compliment her shirt. FML
Today, I greeted a customer with my usual “Hi, how are you?” She started telling me, in detail, about the terrible day she was having, job stress, family issues, everything. I stood there for 10 minutes listening because I didn’t want to be rude. At the end, she sighed, “Thanks, I’m not buying anything today” and left. FML
Today, I was accidentally rude to a customer and she told me to kill myself. My boss came over, told me that she agreed wholeheartedly with the customer, and then said, "I have no idea where you got this delusion that anyone would be sad if you died." FML
Today, a customer told me that there was no way he was paying for his shopping. He then walked off. As it turns out, the customer IS always right. FML
Today, I told a customer to “Enjoy your food” as I handed him his receipt instead of his meal. He replied, “You too.” We both froze in silence for a few seconds before he slowly took the bag and walked away in shame. FML
Today, I was trying sell a customer a top-of-the-line surround sound system. Apparently he was aware that I work on commission, as he threatened to buy the system elsewhere unless I sang Rebecca Black's "Friday" in front of the whole store. Goodbye, self-respect. FML
Today, a customer called me a "smart ass" because I helped him scan his coupon correctly. FML
Today, I offered help a customer to record his details, as he didn't have a scanner. He just stared at me, saying that he would never give any of his details if I typed them on my phone, as I could "do something else" without him knowing. He ended up canceling his orders and got upset on his way out. FML
Today, one of my customers told me he was going to kill himself when I explained to him that I wasn't going to be able to deliver him the gallon of milk he wanted. I work in a pharmacy, dispensing medication. FML
Today, while in line at the grocery store, I was going over the witty but caustic things I wish I'd said in an argument earlier. Turns out, I was saying them out loud. The cashier gave me a weird look and said, “Are you okay, ma'am?” FML
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Top comments
ByronJess 17
I bet there was some dead air after that conversation.
emxy92 22
At least people think you re intelligent!
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Comments (74)
Yunhee_fml 16
What a jerk.
ZY1431 24
not the brightest bulb on the tree I see.
hunterjumper88 8
Trees don't grow bulbs...
Ilovemusic237 19
It was a reference to Christmas trees, upon which bulbs are hung.
haileyshelton 14
My boyfriend and I JUST had this same conversation.
greeneyebeauty9 28
I'm guessing neither of you were the smart one?
XcuzimsotiredX 25
that's a psychologically based conversation.... so they'd both have to be the smart one to analyze it....
Phooey 22
I'm curious, where do you work at?
xxBFMVAAMIWxx 18
Hmm, well Stephen Hawking is still alive...
Aky0n 10
he can't really commit suicide in his physical state now can he?
Zebediabolical 45
If you're so smart why are you working at a job where random people can walk up to you and make comments like that?
8born8 18
Probably because OP needs an income to pay bills? I know that I'd prefer to have a job with a regular income, as meager as it may be, rather than becoming homeless and destitute.
greeneyebeauty9 28
Judgemental much? In this economy it's really hard to get a job. Even for college graduates. You don't know OP's situation. Maybe this is the only job they could find at the moment.
IworkAt711 14
It doesn't even say where OP works or what her position at her job is. She could be payed very well for all we know.
AshleyScruggs 14
OP could also be in highschool, or working to pay her college/ university tuition.
outoftown 27
What job is free of wacko conversations? If OP was a literature/philosophy professor in Turkey, she'd hear how her colleague burn his hair while lighting his cigar on the stove.
fooltemptress 36
That's an interesting way of telling someone they should screw off and die.
shutupmichaela 18
illuminati.
happyfingers 15
That seems... Awfully random... o.O
Bad1z 13
he is not a smart man