Today, a customer started a conversation by telling me how smart he'd heard I am, and finished it by explaining his theory that only smart people commit suicide. He then gave me a knowing look and said, "Just something I thought you should think about," and left without buying anything. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, a customer came into the store I work at to ask why I hadn't killed myself yet. A month prior, that same customer told me to kill myself. All I did was compliment her shirt. FML
Today, I greeted a customer with my usual “Hi, how are you?” She started telling me, in detail, about the terrible day she was having, job stress, family issues, everything. I stood there for 10 minutes listening because I didn’t want to be rude. At the end, she sighed, “Thanks, I’m not buying anything today” and left. FML
Today, I was accidentally rude to a customer and she told me to kill myself. My boss came over, told me that she agreed wholeheartedly with the customer, and then said, "I have no idea where you got this delusion that anyone would be sad if you died." FML
Today, a customer told me that there was no way he was paying for his shopping. He then walked off. As it turns out, the customer IS always right. FML
Today, I told a customer to “Enjoy your food” as I handed him his receipt instead of his meal. He replied, “You too.” We both froze in silence for a few seconds before he slowly took the bag and walked away in shame. FML
Today, I was trying sell a customer a top-of-the-line surround sound system. Apparently he was aware that I work on commission, as he threatened to buy the system elsewhere unless I sang Rebecca Black's "Friday" in front of the whole store. Goodbye, self-respect. FML
Today, a customer called me a "smart ass" because I helped him scan his coupon correctly. FML
Today, I offered help a customer to record his details, as he didn't have a scanner. He just stared at me, saying that he would never give any of his details if I typed them on my phone, as I could "do something else" without him knowing. He ended up canceling his orders and got upset on his way out. FML
Today, one of my customers told me he was going to kill himself when I explained to him that I wasn't going to be able to deliver him the gallon of milk he wanted. I work in a pharmacy, dispensing medication. FML
Today, while in line at the grocery store, I was going over the witty but caustic things I wish I'd said in an argument earlier. Turns out, I was saying them out loud. The cashier gave me a weird look and said, “Are you okay, ma'am?” FML
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Top comments
ByronJess 17
I bet there was some dead air after that conversation.
emxy92 22
At least people think you re intelligent!
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Comments (74)
Xotoolyxo 16
He's jealous of you, strange people in the world
Muttley9 13
Some people are simply rude, trying to get some sort of, ANY sort of, reaction good or bad to assert that they are actually on the planet. Sometimes the planet would be better with some people as compost :)
calliet145 14
This was completely ripped off of part of the movie She's All That, except Misty tells Laney it's all the great artists that kill themselves and to think about it.
worldclassrager 41
Hold that fact back next time...
x_the_lancer_x 13
Whyyyyy would you do that and just throw your job away over some stupid person? When you take a job that deals with people, you should expect mean, nasty people, people who literally are nasty, obnoxious people, stupid people, and any kind of negative thing you can imagine. It all comes with the job. Just move on and don't be so moody and snappy, or you will probably be fired. Then you will be broke. Then you will be that smelly hobo everyone avoids and laughs about across the dinner table, which you won't have because you freaked out over something stupid.
howdoilogin 9
Just gonna point out that the word theory is not a synonym for hypothesis.
DonLeprikawn 5
I would have looked him the eye and replied "I can see why you haven't considered out then, although you definitely should"
lsg3000 6
U should have told him too bad he wasn't smart because he really needs to jump from the top of a 50-story building!
more4me 27
creep!
grunt_fml 17
What an asshole. The only appropriate answer would have been "Well, it is a good think then that you are out of danger, Sir!".