Today, since my daughter refuses to eat any kind of soup whatsoever, I asked her "What are you gonna do when you’re on a date?" She replied with, "Uh...not order soup?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked the girl I’m seeing to make me some chicken soup because I was sick. She replied, “If you’re sick, go to the doctor. I’m not doing wifey shit if you’re not gonna make me a wife, let alone a girlfriend.” FML
Today, my date received food she didn’t order, and instead of eating it without complaint, she sent it back. When I got up to leave, she began to cry. FML
Today, I went on a date with a fun, attractive girl. She ordered off the kid's menu, drowned her food in ketchup, and said my burger with blue cheese and bacon was disgusting. FML
Today, I went out on a date with a cute girl. Everything was going great, until the food arrived. She not only shoveled food into her mouth like it was going to run away, she also smacked, sucked her fingers and laughed out loud with her mouth completely full. It was like dining with a 5-year-old. FML
Today, after it appeared my daughter was throwing away any vegetables in her school lunch, I packed her all vegetables so she would have to eat at least one. Nope! She threw them out and complained to school that "mommy doesn't feed" her. I got a call from the school. FML
Today, I asked a girl I liked what she was doing tomorrow night. She replied, "Cleaning, so nothing really." I then asked her out to dinner. She declined. FML
Today, when my date realised I have a daughter, her actual response was, "Ew." She then got up from our table and went and sat at the bar. By the time I paid my half (and only my half) of the bill, she was already glommed onto another guy at the bar with her hand on his thigh. FML
Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML
Today, I made broccoli and peas with dinner. My girlfriend pouted, sulked, and refused to eat "yucky veggies", demanding fries or chips. Apparently, I'm dating a fucking toddler. FML
Today, I went to a date with a girl I thought liked me. We sat down at a restaurant, ordered some food and started talking. After 30 minutes, she said with a sigh of relief, "THANK GOD! There's my dad. Now I can leave. Bye, thanks for the dinner." The food hadn't even arrived yet. FML
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Top comments
weeping_willow 25
She has a valid point though
Lydmyers 9
You walked right into that one, OP. YDI
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Comments (17)
weeping_willow 25
She has a valid point though
SquirrelRulingtheWorld 8
What a ridiculous question. It’s absurd on so many levels that I’m not even going to start explaining because there’s a 2000 character limit. Let’s just leave it at, “your kid is smarter than you and YDI.”
Nhayaa2.0 17
Duh.
Lydmyers 9
You walked right into that one, OP. YDI
Hempseed 27
She got you there.
VintageReddress 13
Who the hell gives a crap if she doesn’t like soup? That’s petty af. If you hated a particular type of food, wouldn’t it piss you off if you were forced to eat it? Do you even hear how ridiculous this is? You did it to yourself, OP.
jdizz16 16
Ok, now take it easy. We’re just talkin about a kid and soup here.
ojoRojo 27
Why would you ask that question to a 5 year old? Also, I don’t know that I’ve ever eaten soup on a date so it’s not even a relevant question
Ellimac21 14
Well, yeah? She is right. I also fail to understand what was the point of your question? Are you one of those people who think a girl should only eat a soup or a salad during a date?
Jon Tessler 14
"Are you smarter than a 5 year old?" survey says "no I am not smarter than a 5 year old". time to tag out, and let Dad handle the kid.
SM79 6
LMAO Why would your mind go there? Because well....she's not wrong.