Today, as I was walking home from work, I became the victim of a drive-by peanutting. Yes, apparently I'm only worth a bag of nuts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, I learned the only job that actually wants me is as a peanut butter factory worker. I've been unemployed for 9 months. I'm also allergic to nuts. FML
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Today, I went on a walk. I like to crush acorns as I go. One nut was actually a piece of dog poop. FML
Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML
Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML
Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML
Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML
Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML
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Top comments
Blacksxe 1
I assume they yelled: "Eat my nuts!!!!"
moonmonkeyman 6
So u are complaining that u got hit withs nuts instead of being shot with bullets??
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Comments (93)
mileena 7
You serious? Why doesn't anyone do this to me?!
GypsyRover 0
I would love to hit you with my nuts... ... Repeatedly! ;-) and no,I'm not a perv,just honest. Xo.
AcidRaen 4
"that's nucking futs."
1998magicman 0
At least your worth a bag of nuts.
fentron 3
It could have been bullets!
yummcookie 0
You're taking it way too seriously, it was obviously a joke. Hardly something to get so upset about.
lazypopo 0
That's horrible that they threw peanuts at you, but isn't peanuts better than bullets, bb's, and paintballs? I bet it hurts a heck of a lot less. Plus now you have peanuts to feed to the squirrels at the park or the elephants at the zoo. =]
msjoyfull84 0
I was drive by sandwiched once....... Good times.
stewpididiot 11
It could have been a bag of dogshit . Count your blessings.
GypsyRover 0
My heart goes out to the homeless people who try to get back on there feet. But the ones that don't try,and just leach off others,well I don't care for them. I give them sunflower seeds in the hot summer. Lol for those of you who can't figure it out,sunflower seeds give most people gas,and the salt makes you thirsty. Lol
Tgo19053 15
I was almost drive by egged once. Luckily they missed and came back around, and missed again.. XD