Today, as I was walking home from work, I became the victim of a drive-by peanutting. Yes, apparently I'm only worth a bag of nuts. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, I learned the only job that actually wants me is as a peanut butter factory worker. I've been unemployed for 9 months. I'm also allergic to nuts. FML
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Today, I went on a walk. I like to crush acorns as I go. One nut was actually a piece of dog poop. FML
Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML
Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML
Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML
Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML
Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML
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Top comments
Blacksxe 1
I assume they yelled: "Eat my nuts!!!!"
moonmonkeyman 6
So u are complaining that u got hit withs nuts instead of being shot with bullets??
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Comments (93)
Pika_Fu 6
maybe they mistook you for mr. peanut and only returning what was rightly yours!
Setareh23 34
Wow, that was really mean of them. What if you'd been allergic to peanuts? Some peoples' allergies are so severe they can feel sick just smelling them, let alone touching them.
randybryant799 21
So you're actually complaining about what they chose to throw at you?