Today, as I was walking home from work, I became the victim of a drive-by peanutting. Yes, apparently I'm only worth a bag of nuts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, I learned the only job that actually wants me is as a peanut butter factory worker. I've been unemployed for 9 months. I'm also allergic to nuts. FML
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Today, I went on a walk. I like to crush acorns as I go. One nut was actually a piece of dog poop. FML
Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML
Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML
Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML
Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML
Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML
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Top comments
Blacksxe 1
I assume they yelled: "Eat my nuts!!!!"
moonmonkeyman 6
So u are complaining that u got hit withs nuts instead of being shot with bullets??
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Comments (93)
garyallanfox 2
Pistachios are pretty expensive AND delicious. Assuming that's what was thrown, I'd take it as a compliment.
stevenmx86 8
Apparently you read too much in to everything just to find some way to make yourself sound more pathetic.. "Apparently I'm only worth a bag"...
bowser_rawr16 13
Maybe they thought you we're allergic to them?
MitchellK 3
Why is this here. Oh no you got hit by peanuts. WHO GIVES A SHIT
Vulpes21 6
Well a bag of peanuts is probably worth more than two pistol cartridges.
dhooks111490 8
Were you wearing a top hat and a monocle?
legendofzach 1
Hey feel flattered peanuts in a bag cost more than 3 bullets!
angelitared 27
Your worth more than a bag of nuts!
42billybob 5
I'm confused by the OP's statement. Apparently one's value is measured by what random scoffers throw at them? I wasn't harassed at all today, does that make me worthless? Abortion clinic workers get bombings... likely the most value anyone can aspire to, does that make them the most valuable members of society?
interesting33 37
I think they pick people at random because they feel like acting immature and silly. You are worth SO much, don't put yourself down... :)