Today, one of my customer's pipes were blocked. As I went to unblock it, about a handful of used condoms collided with my face. I don't know if I should be disgusted by this or disgusted by my customer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I called a company for a problem with our septic tank. Two workers show up, I take them into the garden to show them the manhole cover at the top of it. They open it up. We then gaze upon a sea of condoms floating on the surface. My wife and I don't use condoms. FML
Today, I had to pay an exorbitant fee to get my drain unblocked. It turns out it was about a million condoms. My son just got his first serious girlfriend and apparently instead of throwing them in the bin, he flushes their used condoms down the toilet. I’m gonna kill him. FML
Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML
Today, while at work, I went to unlock the washroom for a customer. Normally we don't allow customers to use the staff washrooms, so I was as surprised as the guy I found sitting on the toilet when I opened the door. FML
Today, at work, I found a used condom in the fax machine. I'm the electrical maintenance repair for the company. I have to untangle it from the belts. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML
Today, I heard a woman moaning while I was walking on a sidewalk. I didn't mind, until someone dropped a recently-used condom on my head. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
CliffyB03 28
I think I would be more disgusted with the used condoms hitting my face, but that's just me
16characters 12
Both. Sorry OP!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (121)
pratikp03 22
You got someone **** on you, so I would say the first one
Dreamsorrow93 24
Maybe if your nice you will get a tip?
isisorchid 16
But just the tip.
njgohard 16
Wait...did you unblock the drain, and condoms came rushing out, or did he deliberately flush them in your face?
cakefete2 31
I think it was on purpose. It's this new fetish called "plumbing facials". *beep beep beep* Oh sorry, my sarcasm detector just went off. Any other brilliant questions? *beep beep beep*
Maxgolub 13
Both, AND I would go get checked xD
MaiLyfe 20
That is really ******* disgusting. I hope the person promised not to flush freaking condoms and apologized to you. That's so disgusting. *shudders* I'm sorry, OP.
baseballbv 17
Is your customer a teenager? What would possess someone to flush condoms? I think it's well known that flushing condoms is a terrible practice.
KrazyKatz3 26
Maybe someone with a teenage child?
Soundslikeothers 15
Disgusted by the condoms hitting you in your face, and pissed at your customer for being a moron
juturnaamo 29
Wait, you knew *something* was blocking the pipes. Why in the hell would you have your face there? You were bound to get hit by something disgusting.
Like_A_Shadow 11
Who the **** tries to flush used condoms? Their supposed to be thrown in the trash. That's disgusting, I feel sorry for you OP!
annie_nk 23
Doesn't it say on the package to not flush them?
LisaDay 14
teens usually do it to hide them from their parents.
brandoneyez1 25
Bathe in hot hot water. Gross.