Today, one of my customer's pipes were blocked. As I went to unblock it, about a handful of used condoms collided with my face. I don't know if I should be disgusted by this or disgusted by my customer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I called a company for a problem with our septic tank. Two workers show up, I take them into the garden to show them the manhole cover at the top of it. They open it up. We then gaze upon a sea of condoms floating on the surface. My wife and I don't use condoms. FML
Today, I had to pay an exorbitant fee to get my drain unblocked. It turns out it was about a million condoms. My son just got his first serious girlfriend and apparently instead of throwing them in the bin, he flushes their used condoms down the toilet. I’m gonna kill him. FML
Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML
Today, while at work, I went to unlock the washroom for a customer. Normally we don't allow customers to use the staff washrooms, so I was as surprised as the guy I found sitting on the toilet when I opened the door. FML
Today, at work, I found a used condom in the fax machine. I'm the electrical maintenance repair for the company. I have to untangle it from the belts. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML
Today, I heard a woman moaning while I was walking on a sidewalk. I didn't mind, until someone dropped a recently-used condom on my head. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
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Top comments
CliffyB03 28
I think I would be more disgusted with the used condoms hitting my face, but that's just me
16characters 12
Both. Sorry OP!
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Comments (121)
16characters 12
Both. Sorry OP!
MissSatan 16
It's just like the debate between whether to put this in work or intimacy
Arathis 19
Well that must have ******* sucked.
Arathis 19
Well that must have ******* sucked.
itwasthedognotme 14
I wouldn't be disgusted at the fact their customer had sex, but more annoyed that they decided to flush them..
yewanchor 7
It must've been a shitty situation too
Doberman101 29
I agree with #1 that's just gross. Why would the customer flush them in the first place is my question.
orbit 22
So this is why plumbers bills are so high
incoherentrmblr 22
Indeed both.
Wyaru 9
Why not both? *Mariachi band starts playing
incoherentrmblr 22
Was your client Glen Quagmire?...
orbit 22
No, he is not worried about safety
mollyjynxjax 28
Plot twist: OP is not a plumber, but a proctologist
CliffyB03 28
I think I would be more disgusted with the used condoms hitting my face, but that's just me
badluckalex 23
plus whatever buildup that got stuck in there while it was plugged...
ohSNAPyall 27
Pretty sure that's the only correct answer here.
pam241 15
Most definitely by both but personally I would be even more disgusted by the customers totally lack of respect
meli1195 31
So it's disrespectful to use protection in the bedroom in your own house? Wasn't aware of that..
thespiantess 18
No, but it certainly isn't right to flush them down the toilet.
MortenM 17
But disresctful? Big leap IMO
thespiantess 18
Yes, I agree #60
mojopin 12
Maybe the pipes were doing it.
False_Stupidity 42
Adds a whole new meaning to the pipes banging all night...
xNephilim 19
Be disgusted at what happened and think the customer is a moron for flushing condoms, but not disgusting.
LisaDay 14
the customer may have teenage children who are flushing the condoms to hide them from the parents. my older sister tried that.
xNephilim 19
Good point. OP, think that somebody in the household is a moron for flushing condoms down the toilet.
amisenho 11
Seriously, they should just show people like this a little mercy by printing a warning label on the box of condoms, like they do with tampons and sanitary napkins (because, apparently, there were idiots who were flushing tampons and cardboard applicators down the toilet, too): "Do not flush condoms or wrappers; discard by wrapping in paper towel/toilet paper and placing in trash can. Just remember: protect yourself, but don't forget to protect your plumbing! ...Idiot."
chinaski7628 32
My dad's a plumber. I can guarantee you there are still idiots who flush tampons, applicators, and pads down the toilet regardless of common sense and the warnings on the boxes.
Memma_fml 14
That is true. Why would they do that ? O.o People are weird
Brandi_Faith 34
Flushing a tampon is one thing, it's small and I can see how some people may think it would fit, but a pad?! Those things are huge! How do they even get it down the pipes 58?
chinaski7628 32
They don't fit down the pipes, hence the need for a plumber. My dad has pulled some pretty weird stuff out of pipes, drains, and garbage disposals.
cadillacgal79 32
Why not both? *Mexican music*
radianceepica 9
That's the same thing I was thinking. I've spent to much time on 9gag and other meme sites, lol
thespiantess 18
Why not Zoidberg?
cadillacgal79 32
54-Unless Zoidberg can use his claws to help OP, I fail to see how Zoidberg is any use in this situation.
slyde32 12
zoidberg is hardly useful in any situation, that's why he's so great
danny_c_21 11
Both
tony1891 22
what kind of pipes are we talking about now?
LisaDay 14
toilet pipes. a lot of people, especially teens, will try to flush condoms. teens usually do it to hide them from their parents.
JRT98 12
And this is why you don't flush them...
junkman6 22
#31 did you hear something whiz by your head? :P
BlueFlatts 20
I feel so stupid because I was thinking throat pipes. I was thinking how the **** did they do that, haha.
Whotevah 8
#61 You're not alone haha
Memma_fml 14
I never flushed condoms down the toilet. Some teens are just really dumb. Haha. At least they're tryin to be safe xD
RetardedF1sh 6
Are you sure? Could be tailpipes as well
RetardedF1sh 6
mld4657 28
I'm pretty sure both. sorry op even I can't laugh at your misfortune in that one
CallMeWindSock 24
Looks like another plumber already snaked their drain if you know what I mean