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By Oh man... - 01/08/2017 06:30 - Australia - Perth
Today, I began my ritual of my afternoon wank. As I was about to finish, I noticed my dog staring at me from across the room. We shared a longboard stare as I came, and I can't look him in the eyes the same way. FML
"Big deal, man. I lick my balls all day and hump the couch."
If your ritual in the afternoon is to beat off, you need a goddamn job.