Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked, "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied, "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I confidently walked into what I thought was my friend's apartment for a party, only to find a confused elderly couple staring at me. Turns out, I was not only three doors down from where I thought his front door was, I was also on the wrong floor. FML
Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2 p.m. and screamed out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML
Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML
Today, an old friend and I reconnected. Everything was going fine until he threatened to visit me at work. I didn't know he knew my place of employment, so I replied, "Do you know where I live too?" He answered, "Would you hate me if I did?" FML
Today, my boyfriend finally invited me over to his parents' house so I could meet them. My boyfriend, his dad, and I were sitting in the living room when I saw a really sketchy person outside, so I said, "There's some creepy hobo man outside messing with your trash." The "creepy hobo" was his mom. FML
Today, a friend who I hadn't seen in a while offered to give me a ride. I didn't really know how to give directions to my house, so when we had been driving for a while and it was getting awkward, I just pointed at a random house and pretended to live there. FML
Today, I came home to find a man standing in my living room. Since my mom texted me that her new boyfriend would be coming over, I just assumed it was him. I introduced myself, made us some coffee and I went to my room to study. When I went downstairs after a while, the TV was missing. FML
Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughter's. I'm a 37 year old male. FML
Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML
Today, I was waiting for my friend outside a restaurant when a man walked up and said, “You must be Sarah.” I said no to get rid of him. He apologized and walked away. Two minutes later, my friend arrived and asked why I was talking to her dad. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Isaac was probably waiting for you in the basement. You should have graciously accepted your host's offer of a roofie-laced drink and slam it down like a champ. Then, accompany him to the basement to see Isaac.
dsbs 9
Do you like fish sticks?
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Comments (293)
rldostie 19
Holy crap, dude, you almost just died. Way to dodge a bullet!
PeeblesWiggins 0
Ehehm, I don't think killing is all the old man planned to do.
inomnomdinosaurs 4
It's a saying has nothing to do with killing it means that they got away but barely
i2smart2trick 15
and thats when you start backing away slowly.........
reallytho3 11
Then, RUN FOREST RUN!!!!
KingZaneXII 6
And GET TO THE CHOPPER!!!
ash7788 20
And hop he doesn't say I'LL BE BACK!
Rooty345 1
I 'd send your local police a tip sometime when you get the chance - as funny as that may be on FML, that guy sounds like a serious threat to the neighborhood
FarSide 23
You are over reacting. Isaac could have been calling from the basement. He may not have known OP was at the front door.
bitchslapped22 14
107, you're a dumbass. Isaac called her on his phone.
downtime 13
13, While I agree with your suggestion, it is an overreaction by everyone here to assume he had sinister intentions. He was probably just a lonely old man looking for someone to talk to. Jumping on the "OMFG HE IZ TEH RAPEMURDERER" bandwagon is the sort of shit that has fueled a paranoid society and resulted in such things as parents being accosted for photographing their own children at the beach.
underguarded 20
185- Seriously? I mean seriously. Are you actually serious? I'm sorry but if someone came to my door asking if they were at the right house I would never feel inclined to lie to them and tell them they were. There is NO potential good reason I can think of as to why someone would lie to you to invite you into their house. On top offer me a drink while I go wait in their basement. A paranoid society is based on some actual facts not just paranoia
heyred 11
A classic crime of opportunity. You dodged a bullet, OP. Although the guy didn't do anything illegal - just lied - the cops can keep him on their radar.
downtime 13
199 At no time did I say it wasn't a potentially dangerous situation, and I believe I agreed with calling the police. There is a difference between identifying possible risk and jumping to conclusions (a difference that is not apparently identified by many people here). You wouldn't feel inclined to do this? Good for you. Do you plan to now enforce your view on everyone? Shall we stop whatever we are doing and only conform to activities you yourself would do? Clearly you have little to no concept of the lengths some people will go to just for some interaction with others. Why don't you try looking into community outreach work just so you can get an idea of what loneliness and disparity can do to people. ...You also surely realise the stupidity of saying a paranoid society is based on fact as opposed to paranoia...right? If it wasn't baseless it wouldn't be considered paranoid in the first place.
pal_in_d_rome 2
185, why would she be posting this on FML if it was the right house?
underguarded 20
245- Please, for the love of god, stop while you are ahead. I'm not going to Internet rage here with you. Partly for the fact your comment was far too long for me to waste my time reading it and the other part thinking no matter what I say you will not agree. Thanks but ; troll-denied
CTVrhythmguitari 8
that's a strange name for a torture chamber...
ICATiger 13
Is he the local theRapist??
22jrdn55 15
No, the local priest.
ICATiger 13
Hey leave the preists alone its not their fault there all rapists!"
Livencountry 5
64- Wouldn't it actually be their?
SilverInGray 25
Wrong there, 76.
Livencountry 5
Eh, oh well, I guess that's why I failed almost all grammar related subjects at school this last semester.
Liimitless 6
Hahahah preists! A+ on spelling bro
yadisingh 5
If we're talking about 40's comment. It WOULD be their. Because that implies possession... They're means they are which does not make sense here...
IThinkItsAlright 7
101: there are to forms of "there" close to eachother. He got one of them wrong. You fail.
ICATiger 13
*two
cassiebear7652 7
76- I believe he is talking about the second 'there' which should be 'they're.'
22jrdn55 15
My sincere apologies for the typo, Liimitless. Didn't mean to type it like that, but hey you understood what I meant. By the way, cool name.
ICATiger 13
30- I love your **** yeah meme
Ozone1232 5
Guys. There are only three kinds of there. 1.) "there" a location, direction. "look over there!" 2.) "Their" possession of something "it is their apple" 3.) "they're" they are "they're dead because I took an arrow to the knee" I'm not good at grammar but holy ****. At least know the basics, or something as simple as that. Christ.
Livencountry 5
Ah, guess I should learn to read more completely then.
gabbyknight1 0
Lucky escape
sincerelyjay 13
Talk about being saved in the nick of time..
sjhill 32
That was close. Nice timing
artisticninja713 13
I love how everyone assumes the OP must have been at the wrong house. Not saying they weren't buy Isaac could have been in the basement and that could have been his dad being a troll.
soccerguy2 11
it probably wouldn't be on FML if that was the case...
lelandw7393 3
Do u like Popsicles? Cause I got some in the freezer.. Hahahaha
KillSwitch96 18
I got a whole freezer full of popsicles in the cellar. lol
cboy2000 2
I got some popsicles in the basement if you boys are a wantin some