Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked, "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied, "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I confidently walked into what I thought was my friend's apartment for a party, only to find a confused elderly couple staring at me. Turns out, I was not only three doors down from where I thought his front door was, I was also on the wrong floor. FML
Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2 p.m. and screamed out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML
Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML
Today, an old friend and I reconnected. Everything was going fine until he threatened to visit me at work. I didn't know he knew my place of employment, so I replied, "Do you know where I live too?" He answered, "Would you hate me if I did?" FML
Today, my boyfriend finally invited me over to his parents' house so I could meet them. My boyfriend, his dad, and I were sitting in the living room when I saw a really sketchy person outside, so I said, "There's some creepy hobo man outside messing with your trash." The "creepy hobo" was his mom. FML
Today, a friend who I hadn't seen in a while offered to give me a ride. I didn't really know how to give directions to my house, so when we had been driving for a while and it was getting awkward, I just pointed at a random house and pretended to live there. FML
Today, I came home to find a man standing in my living room. Since my mom texted me that her new boyfriend would be coming over, I just assumed it was him. I introduced myself, made us some coffee and I went to my room to study. When I went downstairs after a while, the TV was missing. FML
Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughter's. I'm a 37 year old male. FML
Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML
Today, I was waiting for my friend outside a restaurant when a man walked up and said, “You must be Sarah.” I said no to get rid of him. He apologized and walked away. Two minutes later, my friend arrived and asked why I was talking to her dad. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Isaac was probably waiting for you in the basement. You should have graciously accepted your host's offer of a roofie-laced drink and slam it down like a champ. Then, accompany him to the basement to see Isaac.
dsbs 9
Do you like fish sticks?
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Comments (293)
brick_man33 14
＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿ |__/^^^i_＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿／| | '`-イ/ ● ● | | |ヽ ノ | ( _●_) ミ |
girl112891 7
It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hoes again.
downtime 13
I'd take the hoes...**** the lotion, punish me :D
rainydayz133 6
Pedo alert!
bubo_fml 11
The basement is one thing...However, watch out for that tool shed!!
GentleGreenOhio 5
:o OHMYGOSH
Minnie87 0
Wow that's way creepy. Good thing Isaac called you before you went in. Wait you didn't go in side right? Or was that Isaac house?
projudy 9
Damn. I hope you aren't stupid enough to have gone inside if your friend didn't call you.
iluvevil01 11
Run
couldntthinkofon_fml 5
you're all missing the most important point... what was the drink? a good Martini is worth losing some dignity and limbs for lol
Annebear 6
Fyl indeed that's really creepy...