Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked, "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied, "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I confidently walked into what I thought was my friend's apartment for a party, only to find a confused elderly couple staring at me. Turns out, I was not only three doors down from where I thought his front door was, I was also on the wrong floor. FML
Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2 p.m. and screamed out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML
Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML
Today, an old friend and I reconnected. Everything was going fine until he threatened to visit me at work. I didn't know he knew my place of employment, so I replied, "Do you know where I live too?" He answered, "Would you hate me if I did?" FML
Today, my boyfriend finally invited me over to his parents' house so I could meet them. My boyfriend, his dad, and I were sitting in the living room when I saw a really sketchy person outside, so I said, "There's some creepy hobo man outside messing with your trash." The "creepy hobo" was his mom. FML
Today, a friend who I hadn't seen in a while offered to give me a ride. I didn't really know how to give directions to my house, so when we had been driving for a while and it was getting awkward, I just pointed at a random house and pretended to live there. FML
Today, I came home to find a man standing in my living room. Since my mom texted me that her new boyfriend would be coming over, I just assumed it was him. I introduced myself, made us some coffee and I went to my room to study. When I went downstairs after a while, the TV was missing. FML
Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughter's. I'm a 37 year old male. FML
Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML
Today, I was waiting for my friend outside a restaurant when a man walked up and said, “You must be Sarah.” I said no to get rid of him. He apologized and walked away. Two minutes later, my friend arrived and asked why I was talking to her dad. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Isaac was probably waiting for you in the basement. You should have graciously accepted your host's offer of a roofie-laced drink and slam it down like a champ. Then, accompany him to the basement to see Isaac.
dsbs 9
Do you like fish sticks?
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Comments (293)
sarahsrainbow 4
Reminds me of the Human centipede...
coyfish 0
You should have just stayed for a drink to be polite...
joee182 3
got lucky he called you or youd probably be rubbing the lotion on the skin right now._.
JoeLouisBomber 9
So rude of you not to accept his kind, offering gesture. A nice laced drink neever anyone.
WPQ14 15
You accidentally something there.
JoeLouisBomber 9
Yep i guess i messed up on that one!
slompy7 2
Hey there muscly arms, I've got some Popsicles in my basement...
cass1_l0ve 13
"hey lil kid do you want some candy? I have some in the bedroom...... Huh their not here! You must have eaten them..... I think I need to strip search you -.-... Why don't you lie on the bed while I search you...."
Llamacod 11
*they're (as in they are, candy is the "they" I presume)
Angelrose2004 17
Child rape isn't funny... Not even on fml. Maybe my opinion is biased cuz I went through somethin similar to what you actually said. But still.. It's pretty traumatizing. Just sayin.
gabrielleangeliq 0
Shut up.
kenziekatt125 8
49- shut up you're not funny. Obviously they went in to get a nice refreshing drink filled with roofies and looked for Isaac in the basement while the old man stripped naked. Duhhhhh
boredfishing 0
Egg the house
Fmn123 8
#51 - Agree, lol.
PinkRainbow 3
God Bless you're okay!! that was a close call!
dasteve 0
You almost got raped.
Llamacod 11
C'mon, unless you are the creeper you have no idea if op almost got raped or not. She could have simply been killed and made into a lampshade and a really, really cool teenage girl halloween mask.
Epic_Times 10
That is one sick **** = OP call the cops..