Congratulations!

By jennabee97 - 08/11/2014 23:02 - Canada - Ottawa

Spicy
Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 935
You deserved it 4 318
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Top comments

iLike2Teabag 27

Holy mother of OP she's good.

394 11
giantsfan2010 23

She's good. How the hell do you do that in church with nobody noticing.

329 8

Comments

iLike2Teabag 27

Holy mother of OP she's good.

394 11
Classy_Sassy_15 15

I hand it to her she's great but she shouldn't have told you that congrats on your second child though

11 6
iLike2Teabag 27

And we also know the real reason OP's dad spontaneously yelled out "oh God!" in church.

56 4
jalmanza2580 11

she's 19 and has 1 kid and is happy about another on the way??

4 38
iLike2Teabag 27

Who's 19? Wutchu talkin bout, Willis?

17 1
atav 17

@90 #82 assumed that the op is 19 since their username ends in 97, although that would only make the op 17.

11 2
incoherentrmblr 21

Holy ****...

3 5
giantsfan2010 23

She's good. How the hell do you do that in church with nobody noticing.

329 8
FrutLoopDingus 19

That's what I was thinking! OP tell your mom great job

44 2
Mekeritrig 15

The husband probably had an article of clothing on his lap under which the wife snuck her hand and did the deed. Impressive.

53 3
tony1891 22

perhaps Everyone thought he was shouting "oh god" cause he was feeling the sermon.

69 2
Enslaved 36

Everyone else's eyes were closed during prayer time?

32 3
AddictGamer 16

I jacked off on a bus without anyone noticing ~ beat that OP's mother. And #48, that would have to be a quickie then.

3 26
BSnapZ 21

#77 I feel like it would be a lot easier to do it to yourself than it would be to do it to someone else...

8 0
DenBriZel 31

I am very curious as to how she managed to pull that off.. 0.0

222 5
sarkaar 30

I hope she didn't literally pull it off. :-)

30 4
Witchylady 17

Wow your mother is a piece of work. Congratulations on the news about your second child.

129 5
sicksadworld1317 30

We need time machines. That way, you could have shot back "The real achievement is that I got knocked up in church. It's an immaculate conception! If you want me to aim any higher than that, you're screwed."

75 10
Dodge4x4Ram 46

wife of the year

36 4