Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines had been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was browsing some hardcore porn sites. My mum decided to barge into my room uninvited, so I quickly switched tabs. Unfortunately for me, all five other tabs were also parked on porn galleries. Now my computer and phone are confiscated, and I can only get online at the local library. FML
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Today, my mom went through my textbook and sharpied everything that could be "pornographic." It's a high-school biology textbook. FML
Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said, "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML
Today, while helping my dad look for his watch, I found his porn collection. FML
Today, at work, I received an email telling me that viewing porn websites was prohibited and was a good enough reason to fire me. FML
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Today, my dad went snooping on my laptop, and saw that I'd recently looked up 2 Girls, 1 Cup. It was out of morbid curiosity, but he thinks I'm into "satanic porn", and confiscated every electronic device I own. Now I have to sneak to the library just to check my emails. FML
Today, I discovered that my sister coloured in the pages of my college text books with Sharpie as "revenge." FML
Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML
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Top comments
browntiga 0
that's for being an idiot and not using the internet for ****
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
All this **** talk... I know what I'm doing for the rest of the day ;D See y'all laterr
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Comments (342)
browntiga 0
that's for being an idiot and not using the internet for ****
esu 5
redtube ftw
Hello_kitty_love_fml 0
THRUE THAT.
PrissyPineapple 0
or youporn. :)
ori0324 1
youporn fails... so many sites better than that. redtube is one of them
RainbowHeadache 2
I prefer Spankwire. So much better.
NoMoreRainbows 0
Pornhub is pretty sweet to
eyez_lay_low1921 0
xnxx is tha best.! haha.
iSackismexy 0
totally
ImaWiseGuy 5
lubetube anybody?
L3Paparazzo 7
internet is the way to go :)
Heather_x0x0 6
pornhub>redtube in my opinion...
ifmlftw 0
pornhub ftw
TheDrifter 24
If you're gonna do it, go all out. Extremetube ftw.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
All this **** talk... I know what I'm doing for the rest of the day ;D See y'all laterr
dirtyblond 4
Hahah oh my! ;O New sources, yay!
mfmylifesrsly 30
omg rainbow I'm a spankwire lover myself :o
erick0619 0
cheggit.net best **** site ever
jared280zx 0
hell yeah
jimmy9511 0
that's right!
Poepiepiesie 3
Tubegalore has everything, from mummy **** to 88 jewish themed videos. You dont want to miss out on that.
cumverg 0
No worries!!! You migrated south, and are therefore no longer jelly!!!
johnnybagodonuts 2
36 is right, xnxx.com is one of the best pornhub used to be good but now it sucks, I think it's a pay site
ducksplaysoccer 0
I prefer xnxx
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Women actually watch ****?? That's dumbbb! Girls can get laid so easily lol just come see me I'll help you out (;
Sightless92 7
This guy must be old to still be using magazines to get the job done.
tona01 16
spankwire and pornhub ftw
tona01 16
spankwire and pornhub ftw
RainbowHeadache 2
72 you have good taste in ****, Madame.
thatmanjan 0
thanks for the new sites everyone!!!
Richard16 0
aha i never thought girls really watched ****
RainbowHeadache 2
Sexy, sexy robots.
Richard16 0
aha i never thought girls really watched ****
RainbowHeadache 2
People also say there are no girls on the Internet but do you believe that? :D
Killah_Jay 0
haha #65 made my day(:
IMveryHUNGRY 3
girls watch ****!?!?!?!?
aknnja 0
xvideos
SchiTzenGiglez 0
the makers of FML are probably pissed for all this free advertising, it's so awesome
xPOPTARTx 0
pornhub all the way!!
duburich 0
sextube
xPOPTARTx 0
on Pornhub you don't have to get a membership, all u have to do is search the name of the video u want to watch that needs a membership and u just click on it and it says play video :)
xPOPTARTx 0
oh and if the name of the video is too long u can just put part of it
POPO28_fml 0
xnxx is beast anyone know any better sites?
POPO28_fml 0
xnxx is beast anyone know any better sites?
urdirtyolduncle 15
youjizz.com. the best
ShadyFTW1 0
Spankwire and Pornhub for the win. Me and my girlfriend look that crap up for ideas xD
RunnerDudeTyler 0
The best though is xhamster check it out and thank me later :)
xPOPTARTx 0
nice info about u :)
jacobt123 1
lol. everyone here is awesome.
MegamiKaosu 28
I'm a chik and I watch xnxx ;3
perdix 31
Youporn works great for me.
shannonreneee 11
If girls say they don't watch **** or **********, they are lying.
j_cat187 20
everybody luvs to jack off :) pornhub ftw
iluvhobos 5
I thought this^ was Kurt Cobain commenting... lol
fairygirl88 5
Ummmm, ya not all girls watch ****. just the f*cked up ones.
dfrid 0
yea im with you
blaherman 12
xhamster.com tops all of these.
prince122 0
xhamster
AwesomeAsFcuk 0
2 Girls 1 Cup and 1 man 1 jar are better.
maa_rico 4
I'm gonna add this post to my favs just for all the **** sites you guys mentioned, thank you. Ps. i hope these comments wont get moderated.
poolshark1017 0
ha pornhub.com
SmallTownCutie 0
I concur. I believe it's the other way around fairygirl. Sex is a natural thing, and masturbation is healthy. I prefer youporn, only because it's the easiest to watch from my phone. Hardcore ;)
jess6blondie9 3
179 - Just because a girl watches **** doesn't make them "****** up." It's a personal choice. Once you start to go through puberty and you get horny and watch ****, you'll thank all of these people later.
urdirtyolduncle 15
Jeez.. and girls call US the perverts..
pablothepenguin 2
eew. WTF is wrong with society?! wow this is the future.....? FOL
urdirtyolduncle 15
BTW, if I were to try most of these advised sites, I'd probably be to weak and tired by morning to even lift my arm. Don't know about my hand, though ;)
lolwutguy 0
yep. agreed
urdirtyolduncle 15
203-- It's been like this. Are you roommates with Patrick because you must live under a rock.
A7X_LoVeee 10
Lollll 69 comments? Oops not anymore (:
Heather_x0x0 6
I agree with 167. if a girl says she doesn't like to ********** and or watch ****, either they've never done it or they are lying!
johnnybagodonuts 2
lol @ 179 - it's ok, you're only 15. you'll learn eventually
CryMoreFMLs 15
Personally i think lemonparty. org has the best ****.
esu 5
wow so many new sites
leeshxx 3
hahaha 223 dirtiest picture out! oh I wonder how many 12 year olds are gonna get busted watching **** after this thread. poor mothers all over the world are goin to hear a strange thwap thwap sound comin from there little angels rooms
kathii01 20
you were born in 96' wait to grow up a bit before judging real women
bbedlock_fml 7
You know guys, if you have a bit of an addiction to ****, there's a website that helps: check it out at thewillpower.org.
anakaren_831 1
xvideos.com works on iPods too:)
dbaldonado 0
lmao, wonder how many ppl watched **** after reading the thread ;P
LuckyLogic 0
lmao a lot of **** talk.
Crazy4Christ 0
of course they do. I'm saving myself till marriage and think sex b4 marriage is wrong, but I still watch it. it human
gigglezbabii22 2
#167 that's not true I'm a 20 year old female and I neither ********** nor watch ****. I have a fiance and I'd rather have actual sex then **********. He's the same way. :p
pandaSmore 0
fantasti.cc is the best :)
alex1432 9
did anyone else get really turned on by all the **** site references made by the ladies??
chosenen 6
u forgat xhamster!
Bofferding_fml 6
says the 17 years old
onikage_666 0
dont be dissin playboy, your gonna be the sorry one next time the internet fails you
afdude87 6
more entertaining than a basket of puppies. well, almost, puppies are pretty damn adorable. great comments nonetheless...
FMLsOhilarious 6
youjizz is an okay one
xxjimmyboixx 0
who still looks at **** magazines?!
scotty122 0
exactly what I was thinking :)
ohyess909 0
you and ur gf dangg!!!
madseewhy 3
couldnt agree more :P
dansco 25
Exactly! Who has **** mags now? YDI for still living with your Mum lol
brandddi69 0
I love **** haha
Airborn0280 18
lol
pattheaninal 9
netporn.nl has everything!
Dynoblaze 1
pornhub will give you viruses unless your anti virus is up to date. filetube redtube are better.
mexicutioner123 0
I like pornhub but if u want to get dirty you should go to xvideos
Happiness2Joy 3
I feel like your Quagmire from that one episode of Family Guy when he just figures out about internet **** o.o
Snookie123Babe 0
hells yeah! that's the best!
dinocizmic 0
horny pharaoh is the best lol
dinocizmic 0
hey cutie:) you wanna video chat sometime?
dinocizmic 0
hey cutie:) I'm two days older than you lol you wanna video chat sometime?:D
dinocizmic 0
hey cutie:) you wanna video chat?
ipod_fml 0
no, he's already an idiot for having/looking at ****
starreyes988 0
gotta love the Internet
leader0011 5
i know what I'm doing the rest of today...
clarkie_boi_8494 0
pornhub is awesome lol and I can download vids on my itouch
DoctorOnCall 2
did you just give a **** recommendation?
gagaman_fml 0
cute
gagaman_fml 0
tube8.com baitbus.com
joesterjoe 7
try using the Internet it works better
ImaWiseGuy 5
I guess now would be a good time to invest in a online membership and a bottle of lube...
JojoChuo 8
Who needs memberships when you can go on free sites x)
ImaWiseGuy 5
ahh, you do make a excellent point, i mean who wants to pay monthly charges just to beat your meat like it owes you money....^^
enonymous 9
Wait they have ****??? on the Internet? I thought the internet was for nerds and geeks! (3 days later quagmire comes out for mail with 1 real buff arm)
JojoChuo 8
42- Lovin' the refrence aha!
johnnybagodonuts 2
lol 42, that episode was great
tiffanylovexoxo 0
haha quagmire ftw
ori0324 1
go find a chick to actually have sex with as opposed to ur hand
CitrusGirl 0
Way agreed! There are more women than men in the world. That means there are a lot of lonely desperate women. If you're that desperate get out of the house and find some of them.
Alicia17C 2
who says he's desperate for looking at ****?
IdontWanna69 8
You can't pull a girl out from under your bed whenever you want though >.<
lalabostick 0
I agree
resplendencerino_fml 3
45- you're a *******
ironwords 8
it's harder then it looks
QueenOfBoredom 0
that's what she said *sigh* sorry I had to say it
CitrusGirl 0
I'm not going to sit here saying "I'm right I'm right" when you all have very valid points. But there is something to be said for using imagination. It doesn't cost anything, doesn't give you viruses, and no one can check your brains history.
MegamiKaosu 28
i have a fiancé and we watch **** together o.o
CitrusGirl 0
132- Wish I could take your comment into consideration but because all you did was insult me instead of giving an opinion I can't. Sorry :)
thefull9yards 4
45 yeah but a lot of those desperate girls are ugly. gotta have standards.
slightlypyro1996 4
Hey ugly girls need love too! They just have to pay!!
Tuesdays76 0
Who says OP's a guy? Plenty of girls look at ****.
stormer461 13
156 are you saying that sex doesn't give you viruses? If only.
CitrusGirl 0
288- No, I'm saying using your imagination doesn't give you viruses. If you reread that post you'll probably see that :)
bluegoldfish 7
agree with citrusgirl. cant get herpes in your imagination. well, you can if you imagine them, but thats where they stay...
The_Moustache 6
It's a sign, lay off OP.
cheskiiie 0
LOL that's hilarious.
gingerbuff 0
he must feel great lol
glbracer 0
it's called the Internet. you know about it from sites like "fmylife.com" :P
Jvr91 8
right,that's the first thing I was thinking.how the hell op gonna not use the Internet for **** and complain about it on the Internet
lmaoatall 6
aaaww oh no! somebody drew Ricki Ricardo stashes on all my ladies! sorry op, this ones funny. atleast to me that is!
yummious12 0
sucky answet
lmaoatall 6
I don't have an answer to ops problem, just a reply
RyDawg918 0
damn parental control
MfailK 0
ha your mom is so crazy
comepoopwithme 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
ydi for showing your **** to your child.
TrollsFTW 0
wth....