Porn and Intimacy: Collector's items - FML

Collector's items

By Username - 21/04/2011 18:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines had been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML

agreeclassic 27 236

vote type 1 55 696

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By waitwhat - 18/03/2012 20:46 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Spicy

Today, I was browsing some hardcore porn sites. My mum decided to barge into my room uninvited, so I quickly switched tabs. Unfortunately for me, all five other tabs were also parked on porn galleries. Now my computer and phone are confiscated, and I can only get online at the local library. FML

agreeclassic 12 809

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By MyHeadHurts - 20/01/2012 10:42 - Ireland

Spicy

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

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By wow - 28/11/2011 01:07 - United States

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Today, my mom went through my textbook and sharpied everything that could be "pornographic." It's a high-school biology textbook. FML

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vote type 1 2 074

Old school cool

By Chimychunga - 01/08/2010 06:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, while helping my dad look for his watch, I found his porn collection. FML

agreeclassic 34 355

vote type 1 5 651

By ;)loganberry(; - 27/12/2011 17:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML

agreeclassic 12 704

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By bipbip - 12/11/2008 07:53 - France

Today, at work, I received an email telling me that viewing porn websites was prohibited and was a good enough reason to fire me. FML

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Now watching

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 23:07 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML

agreeclassic 18 795

vote type 1 32 391

Scarred a generation

By nbj10 - 31/05/2013 22:42 - Singapore - Singapore

Spicy

Today, my dad went snooping on my laptop, and saw that I'd recently looked up 2 Girls, 1 Cup. It was out of morbid curiosity, but he thinks I'm into "satanic porn", and confiscated every electronic device I own. Now I have to sneak to the library just to check my emails. FML

agreeclassic 42 298

vote type 1 15 402

By Natalie - 02/03/2010 22:05 - Canada

Today, I discovered that my sister coloured in the pages of my college text books with Sharpie as revenge. FML

agreeclassic 25 444

vote type 1 5 241

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 14:44 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML

agreeclassic 104 757

vote type 1 45 222

Next

TOP COMMENTS

browntiga 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 23:16

that's for being an idiot and not using the internet for ****

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Friday 22 April 2011 0:21

All this **** talk... I know what I'm doing for the rest of the day ;D See y'all laterr

Comments

Leethal88 3

Friday 22 April 2011 0:28

rofl

danielhartlesss 13

Friday 22 April 2011 0:29

YDI for staying home and beating your meat instead of going out and getting a girlfriend.

klong91 7

Friday 22 April 2011 0:37

Pervert :P

notquite69 0

Friday 22 April 2011 0:38

Loser.

zzzBOLTzzz 1

Friday 22 April 2011 0:40

Who still uses **** magazines nowadays? Internet **** FTW!

Darknesskilla 0

Friday 22 April 2011 0:41

The internet is for ****

dirtyblond 4

Friday 22 April 2011 0:50

I've heard that song!(x ^

IdontWanna69 8

Friday 22 April 2011 0:55

So grab your dick and double click...

sonic19951 6

Friday 22 April 2011 2:28

for ****!!

Miranday 0

Friday 22 April 2011 0:45

Suck it up.

QueenOfBoredom 0

Friday 22 April 2011 2:32

he wishes that some girl would

aardvarkish 16

Friday 22 April 2011 0:47

I luv u geiz.

br0itstaylor 0

Friday 22 April 2011 1:02

is **** really necessary anymore these days?

weezer02 0

Friday 22 April 2011 1:04

lol thata funny :)

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Keywords

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Today, I wore my tightest, slightly too small, push-up bra and low cut top to impress a guy at work. He came over to borrow a pen. I leaned down to get one out of my bag and my nipple popped out. FML

agreeclassic 277

vote type 1 2 007

Today, I was fired from the job I've had for 15 years. My boss recently hired his daughter as a senior manager and she made several cuts because, as she put it, the sales team was "too old and lame". I didn't know being a young bitch was a requirement to work at a furniture warehouse. FML

agreeclassic 3 006

vote type 1 145

Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML

agreeclassic 13 902

vote type 1 40 516

Today, I had to babysit my 7-year-old niece while my brother bought Christmas presents. After he left, she walked up to me and said in a very dark voice, "I'm gonna make you hate children!" Now my apartment looks like a bomb site. FML

agreeclassic 32 149

vote type 1 2 863

Today, I discovered that one of my favourite, relatable sad songs is actually a song about gay sex. FML

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Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. They also took the inhaler that fell out of my bag the night before. The one I needed to stop the asthma attack I had from the stress of having my car broken into. FML

agreeclassic 39 390

vote type 1 3 041