Today, I found out that my wife of 5 years has decided to change everything: her job, clothes, hair style, car, and me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, and since we met, my girlfriend has forced me to change my hair, clothing and jewellery, and my diet. She has changed basically everything about me. Then this morning she dumped me because I'm "not the guy she fell in love with a year ago". I'm not even upset because its too funny. FML
Today, my wife told me that she was leaving me for someone with more hair. FML
Today, my wife of over 20 years told me she wants a divorce because she wants "a change in life." She has had the same mullet haircut since '84. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been getting rid of every single item of clothing I didn’t compliment her on. This has probably cost me thousands already. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, my wife said she wants a divorce. Three days ago, I added her onto the title to my house, my bank accounts, and my business. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I was "changing too much." My big change was a haircut. FML
Today, my wife of 6 years came out as a lesbian. I moved out of state and away from family to start a new life with her. Turns out she's attracted to my mom. FML
Today, my wife of seven years told me she wants a divorce because I'm boring. FML
Today, my new wife and I got home from our honeymoon, and not an hour later she'd sat me down for a talk, saying, "Now that you're married you've got to act the part and give up this silly nonsense," then banned me from seeing my friends, playing video games, and basically everything else I ever enjoyed. FML
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Top comments
FunkyAndFresh 7
Maybe she will change mind aswell.. :)
Zaffro 8
This will get voted down no doubt however... There must be some reason why she has done this. If you didn't see it coming you must not have listened to her much or she's super spontaneous!
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Comments (121)
DocBastard 40
Almaba - you have a very unique taken of being able to leap to giant, moronic conclusions in a single bound.
kshafer08 7
Did she change your diaper to...
Rich_Ass_Cunt 9
Those teens get rebelous dont they
22jrdn55 15
FAIL!
docscientist 10
No, they get nebulous.
Cinn_fml 23
I'll laugh when something is funny. I still don't get why some people don't seem realise there is a kind of bad attention...
marcie19 7
New years resolution?
get428 7
Maybe you should just skip the comments and just hide from life/society.
cheefer 0
It could easily be his fault she left, but then again she could have found some greener grass. Which reminds me, I need to score some soon.
wonder19 9
Well op u should of seen the signs, she most likely tried to tell u before all the changes. You took them as nagging, or bitching. Now your going too miss me when I'm GONE!!!
Blazar420 15
Heh, I feel your pain. My ex wife of 6 years did this to me last year. She got with the guy that performed our marriage ceremony, who is now driving my old car. She cut her hair off and is now pregnant with his child. The difference is, she wanted to keep the car and have me pay for it... yeah, that didn't happen. My life is better now than it ever was. It may seem like FML now, but it'll end up being FHL if you play your cards right and keep your cool, and hopefully the best thing that ever happened to you.
changesinme 0
Remind her she's not getting any younger