Love, Divorce and Boredom: Boring FML

Boring FML

By Anonymous - 02/05/2020 02:00

Today, my wife of seven years told me she wants a divorce because I'm boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 713

You deserved it 342

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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Nick - 20/03/2009 16:45 - United States

Today, my wife of over 20 years told me she wants a divorce because she wants "a change in life". She has had the same mullet haircut since '84. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 247

You deserved it 9 119

Commitment

By Anonymous - 07/06/2023 06:00

Today, my wife asked for a divorce. Apparently, me being forced to work on her birthday and our anniversary 3 years in a row is the absolute limit she’s willing to put up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 793

Get over it

By DD. - 08/02/2010 14:18 - France

Today, my wife told me that she wants a divorce. Apparently, I'm taking too long to forgive her for having an affair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 005

You deserved it 4 105

By mj - 05/06/2011 20:20 - United States

Today, my wife announced that she wanted a divorce. She'd actually started dating another man a few months ago, but she wanted to drag our marriage out as long as possible just in case her new relationship fell through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 416

You deserved it 3 369

Foreshadowing is a literary device…

By Anonymous - 08/03/2024 23:00

Today, I told my wife I wanted to reconnect with my religion. She told me that if I wanted to I could, but to expect divorce papers when I got back because she doesn’t intend to be married to one of those boring ass religious nut jobs ruining her Sunday mornings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 756

By Anonymous - 30/05/2018 15:00

Today, my wife informed me that she wants a boyfriend but doesn't want a divorce. Also, apparently I'm horrible for not "respecting her feelings" when I told her she can't have both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 706

You deserved it 298

Last trip

By cap - 09/12/2019 01:00 - United States - Manhattan

Today, I had sex with my wife only to be told that the sex was horrible and to be given divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 231

You deserved it 304

By TCRII - 28/03/2018 01:30

Today, my wife said she wants a divorce. Three days ago, I added her onto the title to my house, my bank accounts, and my business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 969

You deserved it 757

You're so vain, you probably think this FML's about you

By Anonymous - 02/03/2022 04:00

Today, I was told by my wife of 19 years that all the songs about cheating that she's been playing for a year and a half should have been a good enough hint. Getting a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 109

By Nuts - 07/11/2015 02:55 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 686

You deserved it 3 149

Hangryko 29

Saturday 2 May 2020 6:31

Are you the same husband whose wife goes running every day?

Susan Yee 9

Saturday 2 May 2020 6:56

Quarantine brings the worst of some people.

Comments

Sumus125 17

Saturday 2 May 2020 2:46

I'm sorry that she wasted so much of your time, man.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 2 May 2020 2:56

That's a grounds for divorce? If that were the case, hardly anyone would be married except the Dos Equis guy.

Hangryko 29

Saturday 2 May 2020 6:31

Are you the same husband whose wife goes running every day?

Susan Yee 9

Saturday 2 May 2020 6:56

Quarantine brings the worst of some people.

ahabsfan 14

Saturday 2 May 2020 13:05

Right on schedule. Ever hear of the seven year itch?

bloopaloop 27

Saturday 2 May 2020 14:42

Spice up both your lives by hooking up with her friends!

poolgirl789 6

Saturday 2 May 2020 20:11

7 year itch. She'll be back (not that she deserves you)

Nothuman0 3

Sunday 3 May 2020 2:20

Oh well get a cat and sleep in peace 🙃 **** marriage

Keywords

Health Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Family Kids Fight Love Relatable Students Work Animals Birds Sleep Noise Mental health Contraception Medication Racism Cheating Pregnancy Relationship advice Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Intimacy Sex Revenge Food Cats

The Top

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 337

You deserved it 15 970

Today, and every time I try to talk to my mother about being a lesbian, she just says in the most condescending way, "Oh no you're not sweetie, it’s just a phase." The "phase" has lasted 17 years, including marrying my wife and adopting twin sons, but sure, it’s “just a phase.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 730

You deserved it 229

The Top

Today, I found out that my wife is indeed cheating on me. Not bad enough? She's sleeping with a guy who squats in a derelict storefront near our house. A hobo stole my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 299

You deserved it 193

Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 116

You deserved it 58 876

Today, my obsession with replying "Your Mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I'd done with my pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 604

You deserved it 50 470

Today, I was listening to my music on my phone through my Bluetooth wireless headphones. While listening, I turned my music and the power on my headphones off for a bit. I thought I'd lost them when I got home. They were so loosely fit over my ears that I felt like an idiot when I realized they were still on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 624

Today, I went outside for a cigarette since I don't like smoking in the house. When I was done, I stomped it out. I wasn't wearing shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 120

You deserved it 66 162

Today, I hate my toxic, bossy, narcissistic mother-in-law - who is currently visiting us. My husband spilt a little tea and almost had a panic attack over what to do if his mother found out. How did he turn out so normal despite having such a mum? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 071

You deserved it 93