Love, Divorce and Boredom: Boring FML

Boring FML

By Anonymous - 02/05/2020 02:00

Today, my wife of seven years told me she wants a divorce because I'm boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 722

You deserved it 353

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Same thing different taste

By Nick - 20/03/2009 16:45 - United States

Today, my wife of over 20 years told me she wants a divorce because she wants "a change in life." She has had the same mullet haircut since '84. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 258

You deserved it 9 125

Commitment

By Anonymous - 07/06/2023 06:00

Today, my wife asked for a divorce. Apparently, me being forced to work on her birthday and our anniversary 3 years in a row is the absolute limit she’s willing to put up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 842

Get over it

By DD. - 08/02/2010 14:18 - France

Today, my wife told me that she wants a divorce. Apparently, I'm taking too long to forgive her for having an affair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 039

You deserved it 4 118

By mj - 05/06/2011 20:20 - United States

Today, my wife announced that she wanted a divorce. She'd actually started dating another man a few months ago, but she wanted to drag our marriage out as long as possible just in case her new relationship fell through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 426

You deserved it 3 374

Foreshadowing is a literary device…

By Anonymous - 08/03/2024 23:00

Today, I told my wife I wanted to reconnect with my religion. She told me that if I wanted to I could, but to expect divorce papers when I got back because she doesn’t intend to be married to one of those boring ass religious nut jobs ruining her Sunday mornings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 782

By Anonymous - 30/05/2018 15:00

Today, my wife informed me that she wants a boyfriend but doesn't want a divorce. Also, apparently I'm horrible for not "respecting her feelings" when I told her she can't have both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 736

You deserved it 312

Last trip

By cap - 09/12/2019 01:00 - United States - Manhattan

Today, I had sex with my wife only to be told that the sex was horrible and to be given divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 250

You deserved it 321

By TCRII - 28/03/2018 01:30

Today, my wife said she wants a divorce. Three days ago, I added her onto the title to my house, my bank accounts, and my business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 013

You deserved it 766

You're so vain, you probably think this FML's about you

By Anonymous - 02/03/2022 04:00

Today, I was told by my wife of 19 years that all the songs about cheating that she's been playing for a year and a half should have been a good enough hint. Getting a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 114

By Nuts - 07/11/2015 02:55 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 710

You deserved it 3 166

Hangryko 29

Saturday 2 May 2020 6:31

Are you the same husband whose wife goes running every day?

Susan Yee 9

Saturday 2 May 2020 6:56

Quarantine brings the worst of some people.

Comments

Sumus125 17

Saturday 2 May 2020 2:46

I'm sorry that she wasted so much of your time, man.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 2 May 2020 2:56

That's a grounds for divorce? If that were the case, hardly anyone would be married except the Dos Equis guy.

Hangryko 29

Saturday 2 May 2020 6:31

Are you the same husband whose wife goes running every day?

Susan Yee 9

Saturday 2 May 2020 6:56

Quarantine brings the worst of some people.

ahabsfan 14

Saturday 2 May 2020 13:05

Right on schedule. Ever hear of the seven year itch?

bloopaloop 27

Saturday 2 May 2020 14:42

Spice up both your lives by hooking up with her friends!

poolgirl789 6

Saturday 2 May 2020 20:11

7 year itch. She'll be back (not that she deserves you)

Nothuman0 3

Sunday 3 May 2020 2:20

Oh well get a cat and sleep in peace 🙃 **** marriage

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Management Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Am I overreacting? Relatable Coworkers Frustration Capitalism Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 656

You deserved it 3 777

Today, my boyfriend of a year told me he is at the point in his life where he is ready to start a family, get married and have a baby. He also casually stated that he wished he could meet someone he could see himself settling down with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 330

You deserved it 4 254

The Top

Today, I was patiently explaining to my boyfriend what I liked in bed, after several weeks of unsatisfactory sex. He snapped at me and said, "80% of women fake their orgasms. Why can't you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 746

You deserved it 168

Today, my 24-year-old, unemployed brother stole all of my food money and went out with his friends. His punishment from our parents? He has to pay me back when he gets a job. My stomach has to wait. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 010

You deserved it 3 228

Today, my husband rescued our daughter's cat from a tree. She spent the next hour clapping and telling me how much of a hero he was. Last night at 2am I was awoken by meowing and had to rescue the same cat from the same tree, in the dark, and halfway down he shit on me. No one called me a hero. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 959

You deserved it 5 952

Today, my husband and I finally agreed on something: marriage counseling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 026

You deserved it 6 251

Today, I dropped my phone. I'd only just bought this new phone last night. It barely survived 12 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 469

Today, I found a note on the front door of my flat saying, "You left your keys in your garage door so I put them in your letter box". Guess where my letter box key is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 984

You deserved it 6 660