Work: Today, I finished working a week's overtime managing admin, stock,...

By ovawerkrd - 16/01/2011 17:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I finished working a week's overtime managing admin, stock, finances, and three members of staff. I realised that despite all my extra work, I actually earn less per hour than the students who only work on the weekends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 906

You deserved it 2 732

Work

Best teeth in the game

Dysfunctional

I've just got one of those faces

By Noname - 21/02/2009 05:41 - United States

Today, My mom walked in on me and my 2 year crush about to have sex. When she saw us she said "oh I'll just wait outside, I know it wont be long anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 910

You deserved it 8 289

By Anonymous - 24/07/2015 16:05 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I'm grieving over the death of my best friend of 9 years. My mom wasted no time arriving at the conclusion that I must be hormonal and pregnant with his child. Apparently it's not normal for a woman to cry so much over a man, unless they've been fucking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 934

You deserved it 1 942

By Anonymous - 22/06/2016 02:45 - United States - Chillicothe

Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I said no, she started crying so much that her mom came out 5 minutes later and demanded that I give her daughter the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 712

You deserved it 1 256

By Jacky-Boy - 07/08/2009 00:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats and turntable scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 400

You deserved it 7 429

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 00:20 - United States

Today, I was going through my mom's old yearbook. There was a page long note from her friend talking about my mother's crazy drunk sex stories and describing multiple sexual encounters she had while on a pool table. I am deeply scarred forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 327

You deserved it 9 920

By Shaving it off - 23/12/2018 00:00

Today, when I showed someone my 9-year old passport, she commented, “you look so different! Now you have that Jason Statham thing going on!” My hair goes down to my shoulders; this confirms my receding hairline is real and it’s time to come to grips. At least I’m over 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 867

You deserved it 370

By Jessi - 24/07/2012 18:33 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 340

You deserved it 3 072

By Anonymous - 21/02/2016 19:02 - United States - North Scituate

Today, I found a picture of my ex with a new boyfriend. This wouldn't be so bad if she didn't break up with me because she was lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 393

You deserved it 1 852

By stacyyvonne - 07/10/2011 02:53 - United States

Today, I finally found the courage to tell my drug addict husband that I'm leaving him. He sat in his chair, denying using drugs, ever. Right after he said this, he passed out and spilled hot coffee on himself. He then denied spilling the coffee. As I was leaving, he took all of my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 336

You deserved it 3 478

By theynamedmeluke - 23/09/2013 22:49 - United States - Austin

Today, I found out I was adopted when my drunk dad made a terrible Star Wars joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 255

You deserved it 2 853

By Noname - 20/02/2009 05:30 - South Africa

Today, at a strategy session my manager displayed a flow chart of his employees. I wasn't included. Apparently I had been fired and they forgot to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 682

You deserved it 2 429

By 123literateABC - 04/11/2015 03:10 - United States - Grand Haven

Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 438

You deserved it 1 517

By wooowmom - 05/06/2011 01:10 - Canada

Today, I learned that if I don't give my mom attention immediately after she calls my name, she will throw a baseball at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 535

You deserved it 10 678

By Anonymous - 11/04/2013 20:21 - United Arab Emirates - Dubai

Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 195

You deserved it 17 447

Herpes goes to Monaco

By amethyst334 - 24/08/2021 18:01

Today, after receiving a negative herpes test four months ago, my doctor called me and told me it was a false negative and I’ve been living with herpes for four months. I then had to tell everyone I’ve slept with about it, and worst of all my new boyfriend broke up with me. All in one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 432

By Anonymous - 28/06/2009 17:30 - United States

Today, I finally got my yearbook for senior year in high school. I started what everyone does, which is count how many times I appear in the yearbook. I stopped when I found a prominent photo of me, picking my nose in class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 643

You deserved it 50 361

By Anonymous - 27/05/2015 13:39 - United Kingdom - Letchworth

Today, my dad stood by and nodded in agreement as my sister told me that my clinical depression is "getting REALLY old." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 463

You deserved it 4 011

By Deaf - 02/07/2015 18:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was sent to the principal's office because I refused to take my earbuds out. Those "earbuds" are my hearing aids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 240

You deserved it 1 833

Loveless

By loveless - 18/02/2010 05:07 - United States

Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 804

You deserved it 4 589

Mean girls

By Anonymous - 30/11/2021 05:01

Today, I found out via Whatsapp status about a girl's outing of a group I'm in. I wasn't invited. I'm 35 and it's high school all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 87

By Eric Forrest - 24/02/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, while at a work meeting, I finally summoned up the courage to share and express my opinions about unprofessionalism in the office. After the meeting, I went to clean up, only to notice in the bathroom mirror that I'd had a booger pasted across my forehead throughout the meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 105

You deserved it 23 915

By Evalynne - 06/04/2013 12:55 - United States - New Orleans

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 752

You deserved it 21 788

By Anonymous - 09/01/2021 17:04 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I found out the first person I was able to open up to in nearly ten years is already in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 113

By Anonymous - 19/11/2018 05:00

Today, I signed for a delivery for my mom and something inside started to vibrate. I can't leave it because if she gets home and it's still vibrating she'll know I know what it is, but if I open it to turn it off, she'll know I've opened it and know what it is. Someone help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 753

You deserved it 345

By Anonymous - 23/09/2015 08:51 - United Kingdom - Bargoed

Today, my ex came out as transgender. I had absolutely no problem with this, in fact I celebrated her bravery. What I did have a problem with was all my friends immediately assuming that this was the reason I broke up with her, and not that she'd cheated on me for 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 085

You deserved it 1 880

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 06:12 - United States

Today, I forgot to take my wallet off the roof of my car and drove away, onto the highway. A man behind me began flashing his lights and waving his arms. I thought he was freaking out because I cut him off. I flipped him off. He was trying to tell me that all my money was flying down the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 677

You deserved it 84 623

By Anonymous - 13/05/2015 17:20 - Canada - Qu?bec

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 873

You deserved it 2 759

Sensitive

By itsevenworse - 07/08/2021 00:01 - France

Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 96

Not that sort, I swear

By Anonymous - 22/10/2020 11:01 - Luxembourg - Mamer

Today, I threw out a bunch of Coca-Cola bottles that had been in my room for who knows how long. My mother noticed them in the recycling and promptly told our neighbours that I have a "coke habit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 147

Left hanging

By Anonymous - 28/09/2020 19:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at work, and I had to tell my manager I was calling someone to bring me a bra as mine had broken mid-shift. I was the only woman on shift. It took them 30 minutes to show up and I still had to serve front of house while I waited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 251

You deserved it 224

By Anonymous - 28/07/2019 14:00

Today, I was at a waterpark with my friends, waiting in line for about 45 minutes to go on the biggest ride there. When it was finally our turn, the lifeguard at the top pulled me over and measured me to see if I was tall enough. I wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 776

You deserved it 429

By Isoneedtomove - 09/11/2018 16:00 - United States

Today, I received an email from a shipping company telling me they had dropped off a package of expensive electronics at the front door. Too bad someone stole it before I made it to the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 754

You deserved it 163

By Anonymous - 29/07/2009 15:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a year told me he is at the point in his life where he is ready to start a family, get married and have a baby. He also casually stated that he wished he could meet someone he could see himself settling down with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 143

You deserved it 4 236

By Anonymous - 27/11/2013 17:51 - United States - Poquoson

Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 327

You deserved it 4 219

By g'day cunt - 26/08/2012 18:27 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 631

You deserved it 28 799

By need sleep - 25/02/2015 16:53 - United States - Severna Park

Today, it's been three days since I started working 12-hour night shifts. My neighbors have now decided to renovate their house. They're focusing on the rooms sharing my wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 269

You deserved it 2 326

By fyln00b - 03/07/2010 04:49 - France

Today, I was horseback riding. Somebody yelled something behind me, so I turned around. Next thing I know, I am on the ground and my head is killing me. It turns out I ran into a tree branch. The person behind me simply said, "Watch out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 592

You deserved it 8 245

By CombatShadow45 - 25/11/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend of three years on a romantic picnic to the park, so I could propose to her. The moment was just right, I made my move. I knelt down on one knee and asked her. Her response was "you're kneeling in dog poop." I looked down. She was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 728

You deserved it 5 423

By Anonymous - 12/03/2014 06:39 - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, my neighbor came over and yelled at me for traumatizing her kids. What did I do? Nothing. Her kids entered my back yard, dug up my 1-month-dead hamster and freaked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 830

You deserved it 3 416

By Kimberlie - 15/03/2011 09:23 - United States

Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't let me move into his new apartment with him. It turns out his other girlfriend had already moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 195

You deserved it 4 849

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Top comments

Mirorbo 26

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Sunday 16 January 2011 23:32

You should speak to someone about your payment reflecting how much you work. If that doesn't work, start actively looking for a job that'll properly compensate you.

mssammydean 0

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Monday 17 January 2011 8:26

Have YOU realised that she's using the British way of spelling? Since she's, you know, in LONDON! If you were smarter I think you'd have kept your mouth shut.

coolboy6 0

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Sunday 16 January 2011 22:29

sucks:/

narik 4

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Sunday 16 January 2011 22:29

first

Sirin_fml 46

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Sunday 16 January 2011 22:32

Well I'm glad you achieved your life's dream and ambition. Oh, or NOT.

DahkLohd 4

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Monday 17 January 2011 0:24

I can't believe that people are still doing this shit. Consider yourself lucky that you weren't actually first - Sirin would have forced you to give birth via anal delivery, or maybe you would have ended up with a gerbil-sized growth coming out of your ass. xD

prince122 0

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Monday 17 January 2011 1:42

fail

percawesome 0

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Monday 17 January 2011 10:37

Someone care to explain to me why some consider being first (when they actually are that is) such an accomplishment?! Is it "hey, waddayaknow, no comments... first!" or more like "Here it is... I've waited hours for this new FML.... yoink! first!!!1"

_nathalia_ 0

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Sunday 16 January 2011 22:31

Lol yu don't deserve it

_nathalia_ 0

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Sunday 16 January 2011 22:38

At least you get money where most people don't.

st0815 9

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Sunday 16 January 2011 22:54

That's nonsense. She is in the UK not the US, but that line isn't true in the US either. Even if it was: why should she be happy when she's being exploited in a recession? That makes no fucking sense.

CultureChic 14

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Sunday 16 January 2011 22:38

Hmm, time for a new job?

IronZombie 0

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Monday 17 January 2011 12:10

yea op quit whining and find a better job if you don't like it

CultureChic 14

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Sunday 16 January 2011 22:40

Narik, you're second, actually. Awww, tough luck :(

Mirorbo 26

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Sunday 16 January 2011 23:32

You should speak to someone about your payment reflecting how much you work. If that doesn't work, start actively looking for a job that'll properly compensate you.

perdix 29

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Monday 17 January 2011 0:40

Your negotiating skillz suck. Bosses love to underpay workaholic pushovers like you. They get bonuses for grinding down wusses like you. Be a mañ, Arthur Pewtey, and go demand a raise!! (or a pay cut for the students, heh-heh)