Today, I had to listen to my brother whine yet again about being single and how unfair it is. This is a guy who owns an "I fuck on the first date" t-shirt and has more than once referred to women as "vaginas with a person attached". Last time I called him out for being such a dick, I got punched. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I finally met a guy I was interested in, after being a single 21 year-old virgin, but my brother decided to be overprotective and drag me away. Like, literally. FML
Today, my brother's girlfriend dumped him. I overheard my mom tell him "It could be worse. Your brother can't even get a girlfriend". FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family. My brother insulted her weight so many times she left in tears. Not only does he not understand why what he did was wrong, he’s genuinely livid with me for being upset with him, to the point that he damn near slugged me when I confronted him. FML
Today, I overheard my husband’s disgusting misogynist brother saying that I shouldn’t be allowed to discipline my son, because “it’ll turn him into one of those pussy ass soyboy simps that listens to bitches.” My husband didn’t even back me when I told the douche to leave our house. FML
Today, despite the fact that I own my home, car and have a career, I was once again told that I’ve shamed my family by being a single mom. Meanwhile, my brother has four kids with three different women and constantly hits up every family member for money. He gets nothing but just support. FML
Today, I had to explain to my brother why he can't go on dates with my new boyfriend and me. FML
Today, I celebrated my birthday. My brother's girlfriend gave me a few snide comments about the choice of music and my dress. Then she teased me about not having a boyfriend. By the way, I haven't had a relationship in five years because I'm still traumatized from past domestic abuse. FML
Today, my tall, handsome, perfect cousin told me to stop bitching about being single and "work on myself", as if that would magically attract hordes of women. I told him to fuck off and swung at him. He knocked me on my ass and had the balls to say he forgave me but that I needed to stop being bitter. FML
Today, in our family group chat, my sister-in-law asked me what I got my new girlfriend for Valentine’s Day. Not long after, my brother called me pissed off about me making him look bad. FML
Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML
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Top comments
organizse 28
Does he wear a fedora and have a neckbeard too?
gummehbewr 19
You're brother needs to learn what manners are..
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Comments (125)
laden_swallow09 34
So punch him right back and cut him off from his windpipe until it sinks in for him.
RogueOne 10
Wow, you seem pretty serious Lee
Red_Curls1995 28
And he's still single? Wow go figure. Can only hope that eventually he'll realize what a huge douche he is.
scyth3s 13
I'll take him!
tlnorman 18
Your brother is a douche and women with brains can see that which is why he's single and is likely going to remain so until he either grows up or meets a woman who is just as much of a stupid douche as he is. Ignore him you're clearly a better person.
anon385 23
Is he mentally stable!
SecundusSecunda 27
I don't think so!
Fairyjoshy 13
Probably just entitled.
RinoaHeartilly 36
Sorry your brother is such a dick. At least you're not like that?
gobiteme2 34
I don’t mean to offend the fairer sex, OP you should tell your brother to pull the used tampon out of his ass.
lolhailsatan 23
the **** kind of insult is that, thats just gross
nash1991 20
I guess he's breaking the stereotype of "girls always go for assholes"
9a_1z 12
That stereotype didn't hold much truth in the first place though, it only really works when you're talking about girls who enjoy pegging.
neuronerd 29
Want me to punch him for you?
kirby1964 20
I'm kinda glad to hear he is not getting any. Usually guys like him get it easy and then the girls post on here about what jerks they are to them.
Ms_ValS 27
Yes and often they have already bred with said douche.
Anubis_81 21
I have had similar issues with my brother, though he is not as narcissistic as yours. I feel for ya bro.