Today, I had to listen to my brother whine yet again about being single and how unfair it is. This is a guy who owns an "I fuck on the first date" t-shirt and has more than once referred to women as "vaginas with a person attached". Last time I called him out for being such a dick, I got punched. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I finally met a guy I was interested in, after being a single 21 year-old virgin, but my brother decided to be overprotective and drag me away. Like, literally. FML
Today, my brother's girlfriend dumped him. I overheard my mom tell him "It could be worse. Your brother can't even get a girlfriend". FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family. My brother insulted her weight so many times she left in tears. Not only does he not understand why what he did was wrong, he’s genuinely livid with me for being upset with him, to the point that he damn near slugged me when I confronted him. FML
Today, I overheard my husband’s disgusting misogynist brother saying that I shouldn’t be allowed to discipline my son, because “it’ll turn him into one of those pussy ass soyboy simps that listens to bitches.” My husband didn’t even back me when I told the douche to leave our house. FML
Today, despite the fact that I own my home, car and have a career, I was once again told that I’ve shamed my family by being a single mom. Meanwhile, my brother has four kids with three different women and constantly hits up every family member for money. He gets nothing but just support. FML
Today, I had to explain to my brother why he can't go on dates with my new boyfriend and me. FML
Today, I celebrated my birthday. My brother's girlfriend gave me a few snide comments about the choice of music and my dress. Then she teased me about not having a boyfriend. By the way, I haven't had a relationship in five years because I'm still traumatized from past domestic abuse. FML
Today, my tall, handsome, perfect cousin told me to stop bitching about being single and "work on myself", as if that would magically attract hordes of women. I told him to fuck off and swung at him. He knocked me on my ass and had the balls to say he forgave me but that I needed to stop being bitter. FML
Today, in our family group chat, my sister-in-law asked me what I got my new girlfriend for Valentine’s Day. Not long after, my brother called me pissed off about me making him look bad. FML
Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML
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Top comments
organizse 28
Does he wear a fedora and have a neckbeard too?
gummehbewr 19
You're brother needs to learn what manners are..
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Comments (125)
drivingmoleman 3
He sounds like a real winner... I mean, weiner!
annalily5 28
Let me guess, he also complains about how women only date douches and won't give him a chance.
spicyburrito 18
chivalry is dead
badlandsx1989 1
Well, he seems like a catch
Pootispencerhere 1
We call them douche bags over here. What's the UK version?
baubsmith 6
he was probably just flirting with you
THE_GLOW_CLOUD 9
It seems that someone needs to learn that women expect to be treated as people. Knee him in the balls OP
mrRastafarian 5
hes not a man hes a kid
BloodyGlass 10
If he's assualting you, he can go to jail.