Today, whilst still trying to potty train my puppy and keep her from both peeing and pooping in the house, my lactose intolerance kicked in full fledge. Every time I pass gas, she smells poop and believes it's okay to immediately drop a deuce on the carpet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML
Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML
Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML
Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
Today, I couldn’t tell that my puppy had an upset stomach before I left for work. I came home to her covered in shit inside her crate. After cleaning her up and almost being done with the mess, my husband found where she had tried to lick herself clean and then vomited it up in our bedroom. FML
Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend's family for the first time. Unfortunately, I have diarrhoea and keep leaving extremely smelly farts around the house. I blame the dog every time, but I think they're catching on. FML
Today, I've been on the verge of throwing up all day. Why? My dog is intolerant to grain, but grain-free dog food causes heart problems so she can't have that. Now our lives are filled with nasty farts and Hershey squirts with no end in sight. It's a rough time for us both. FML
Today, I gave my puppy a treat for finally doing his business in the grass instead of on the patio. He later puked it up all over the patio. FML
Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML
Today, I went to let my puppy out, and I turned around to see her peeing on the carpet. After getting her outside, I saw my little sister pooping on the floor. FML
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Top comments
menja 29
Well, how about you stop eating dairy products then?
WCARlover 35
I'm sorry, but picturing this going down is just hilarious. Your puppy will run out of poop eventually lol
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Comments (81)
courtney_leath 14
Just fart outside
CommentKing207 23
If you know you're lactose intolerant, why are you eating dairy? And anyways, you should get a dog trainer. They can help with that sort of stuff.
CommentKing207 23
The dog, not the person ;)
steveo493 5
Maybe the dog trainer is also a dietitian? lmao
gracexstephanie 10
I'm sorry but I find that absolutely adorable! Well the puppy part. The farting part is hilarious Bc the same exact thing happens to me with dairy products. Can't stay away tho
menja 29
Why don't you eat lactose free dairy products then? Thereis almost always an alternative (except maybe Ben & Jerry's)
GhostFox 34
There are tablets with the enzyme needed to digest lactose available. They don't stop the issues all the time but they reduce the severity of the side effects when they don't stop them. I have personally used the product, and can in fact now eat ice cream if I take the tablets, when prior to finding them, it was a great way to end up tossing my... Ice cream. You do have to determine how many tablets the amount of dairy you are about to consume will require. That varies from person to person.
WOTAN1488 24
Take your dog outside, and fart. Do this each time.
ProudDaddy 7
Then why do you not just take your dog with you and fart outside? Pretty much problem solved right there.
LycanGod 27
funny as hell, hopefully the training goes better :)
ohSNAPyall 27
Lactaid?
katina1236 20
Try crate training. She won't poop in that confined area. If you don't have a kennel. Pick up the poop in a poop bag and tie it to her collar. She/he has to carry her shame essentially and it'll help. But it is a puppy so there are going to be accidents I think it took 2 weeks for mine to learn properly
sprechensiedick 7
How would you like to carry a bag of poop around your neck? Jeez.
Cheyenarae 13
to potty train a dog/pup they need to go outside immediatly after eating drinking and waking up. every time until they go. then make sure to praise them for it and never yell at them after the fact they don't know you are yelling at them because they pottied. only scold after they are completely potty trained and know better-dog trainer :)
cressybryant 15
Try and pass the gas near the area you were potty training her? Aka a litter tray?
Echoa21 18
I don't think dogs use litter trays
Sora_McKain 36
Mine does.